Love Actually
John wasn't really surprised when Rodney called him over the radio to ask him to come down to the lab at midnight on Christmas Eve. Sheppard knew that Rodney didn't have anyone to love at Christmas and for that matter neither did he. But he liked it that way. Okay, so there was no romantic kiss under the mistletoe or a cosy snuggle while watching 'it's a wonderful life', but then there was none of the irritating heartache of having someone one to love and lose. No one to see you as you truly are; warts and all, then walk out on you with a mere 'it's not you it's me'.
Funny it never seemed to be him always 'her'. Whoever 'her' was this time. He especially liked the 'I need more space' speech. Yeah, he thought bitterly, and the space you need just happens to be the same depth, height and width of me!
No, John had decided long ago that it simply wasn't worth the hassle to have a 'meaningful' relationship. What was the point if it was always going to end the same way? With him kicked to the curb, licking his emotional wounds and reverting back to his old standby – running away AKA requesting a transfer.
No, John didn't mind the midnight call at all, he had nothing better to do and Rodney did provide an excellent distraction from the holiday blues. The cranky scientist was always asking him to go turn ancient devices on down in the lab anyways- why would Christmas be any different? Besides he kinda liked the brainy Canadian. The way his hands flew about sporadically when he got excited whilst explaining this, that and the other. It reminded Sheppard of a bird, trying desperately to fly to some unknown and wonderful place.
He was slightly shocked when he heard the melodic sounds of Christmas music coming from the lab. Intrigued he gingerly edged his head around the door, to get a quick peek at whichever scientist thought the smurfs version of 'all I want for Christmas is a smurf hat' was a quality song to be playing – ever!
Radek was tap-tapping on his keyboard and caterwauling at the top of his voice, a red pompomed Santa hat adorning his fly-away hair, covering his head. "Radek! Radek!" he called out trying to get the Czech's attention. Zelenka simply carried on singing oblivious to Sheppard's presence.
"He told Santa clause that nothing else will do, cause all he wants for Christmas is a Smurf ARGH… Colonel, are you trying to kill me!? Has Rodney finally driven you mad?!" Sheppard smiled brightly as the fuzzy scientist picked himself back off the floor. Sneaking up and giving the poor guy a heart attack might not be nice but it was definitely funny. With a chuckle John bent down and gave Radek a hand up.
"No, just trying to cut down the noise pollution. Have you seen Rodney around?" John saw a strange twinkle in Zelenka's eye at his question, which piped his curiosity no end. "Radek, what going on?"
"Is nothing, Rodney Mr Genius is fool and refuse to listen to reason, so now I sit here doing his work while he hides in office. To make my life even more living hell that already, is I now have spiky haired Colonel frightening me, to make me scream like little girl!" with his rant finished he picked up his empty coffee mug and disappeared out the door muttering about his nerves needing some decent vodka.
"Right… okay then… office."
The blinds were down, lights off inside the office, so for once, thinking Rodney might have gone to sleep, Sheppard knocked on the door. "Hang on!" McKay looked flustered and fraught when he answered the door, "Hi, erm… could you just…" McKay took John's arm and led his to the comfy sofa he had in the heart of the science office.
Books and papers were stacked high and looked ready to topple over. The sofa however was miraculously clear of debris. A flip chart was positioned opposite, where Sheppard now sat felling ill at ease.
"Rodney what's this all about?" John was itching to move around. The room had an atmosphere of apprehension and panic and it was emanating from John's scientist standing beside the flip chart.
"Shush, please don't talk." Deciding to take the bait and find out what the hell McKay was up to, John was silent as Rodney pressed play on his laptop and the angelic voices of some female voice choir began to sing 'Silent Night'. One of Sheppard's favourite Christmas Carols, that his mother used to sing as she decorated the tree and baked cinnamon Christmas cookies for him.
Rodney stood by the flip chart once more, took a deep breath and began flipping through the brightly coloured pages. McKay had obviously spent some time on the chart, with each page boldly scrawled on in red, blue and green ink. The first page read, "By this time next year I'll be going out with one of these women".
The second, had pictures of almost every woman on Atlantis including Elizabeth and Teyla. Each picture was decorated with a shimmering frame of glue and glitter. John was desperate to laugh at the audacity of McKay, and the thought of him sticking and gluing, but something in Rodney's expression told him that this was much more than a Christmas joke gone too far.
Taking another deep breath Rodney trundled on, "But for now let me say, without HOPE or AGENDA",
"Just because it's Christmas (and at Christmas you tell the truth)",
"To me, you are PERFECT." Rodney paused for affect and took in the incredible look of shock of John's face.
Rodney tried to smile in a reassuring sort of way but to John it came across as broken, damaged around the edges. Sheppard didn't know what to do or what to say, the almost confession of unrequited love was unexpected to say the least. Rodney began again, the next slide reading "And my wasted heart will love you even in your ripe old age (and you WILL get to old age)."
The music was drawing to a close on McKay's final page which read simply "MERRY CHRISTMAS, MY FRIEND".
When the music stopped Rodney calmly walked over, picked up his laptop and left the room, leaving Sheppard staring in consternation at the seemingly innocent words 'Merry Christmas, My Friend" staring back at him accusingly. Giving himself a quick mental shake Sheppard stood and ran out the door, intent upon catching his friend.
He found Rodney walking towards his room, the laptop still tucked under his arm. John ran and grabbed his arm, turning McKay round to face him. He looked into the pale blue eyes filled with emotions and without a second thought cupped Rodney's face in his hands and kissed him tenderly on the lips. He pulled away; smiled and walked away towards his own room. A wonderful feeling of belonging causing him to smile the whole way there, he'd not realised he'd needed it, but it certainly felt damn good to know your loved.
Rodney stood in the corridor and watched Sheppard go, his heart that much lighter, his ache that much more relieved. He grinned, turned to leave the corridor with a few final whispered words to himself, "Enough… for now."