First story - be nice, please. :) I recently got into this Anime/Manga - it was interesting. A bit messed up, but it's cool! -peace sign- This is going to be a collection of one-shots which are trying to humorize the show - it's up to you whether it works or not.
I'm gonna go sit in my corner now.
Disclaimer: If I owned 'Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni', I'd be rich, and I'm not.
Warnings: Nothing you wouldn't expect from the show. Really crappy humour, seriously. Lots of Oyashiro-sama. Oh, and aliens. And randomness.
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#1. How Oyashiro-sama Conquered The Show
The Shrine God paced his room angrily. "It's not fair! How come Mom and Dad get to be worshipped and stuff when all I get is - no, I don't even get anything! I'm a God, for Me's sake!"
It was a dark and stormy day in the sky - Oyashiro's teenage adolescent years were getting to him. No worries - this only lasts about a century.
Oyashiro stopped, and a metaphorical light bulb lit up beside his head. "I know! I'll get my own village, and get them to worship me somehow!" He then praised his own ingeniuty, leaving a couple of birds to wonder how the heck a light bulb could have appeared out of nowhere.
- And that was how the show started. -
"No, wait, that's not it!" A writer cried. "Oyashiro-sama was a great God, he came down from the heavens - !"
A baseball bat hit him in the head. Writer B held the bat in his hands smugly. "I think I've figured out half the plot." He chuckled to himself evilly. "Now I will be the producer of this show..." He sat down at the desk and dragged a piece of paper towards him and started drawing squares on it.
- And that was how the manga started -
Oyashiro stamped his foot. "Come on, guys, work with me here!"
A small, green, large-headed man-thing shook his large head. "Look, kid, we're not here for your games and stuff, alright? We're here on strict bioterrorism business - no worshipping allowed."
"But I'm a God! They're supposed to be worshipped!" Oyashiro whined. "I haven't even gotten the suffix -sama after my name yet - the writers won't type it until I conquer some village or whatever." He held up a fist. "I'll use my powers on you!"
"Hm, well," The alien, said, crossing his arms and adjusting the cap on his head. "What's in it for us?" He jerked his thumb back at the rest of his gang.
"You get to do your bioterrorism-whatever," Oyashiro said. "I'm just coming along for the ride, dude." He grinned widely. "You aliens are a symbol of peace, right? I believe I can organize something for you."
The alien smiled widely - at least, Oyashiro thought so. "It's a deal."
Oyashiro cackled evilly. Fame and fortune, here I come. Even those writers can't stop me now!
- And that was how the plot started -
"What?!"
Oyashiro-sama yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. "I can't
believe it! What are they trying to do now?" He crossed his arms
sulkily and sat down on a cloud. "Those stupid kids are trying
to make me into a parasite bioterrorism thing whatever." He
scowled.
An alien raised a finger. "Uh, Oyashiro-sama, that
is what you are.
Remember - us aliens?"
"Of course I do! How could I not? You're hanging around every minute of the day. And what's this ridiculous notion of me standing around that girl Rena when she's sleeping? What are they trying to do? Make me look like some sort of pervert?" He snorted loudly.
The alien said nothing, and coughed quietly.
"And the villagers are going insane! And time keeps repeating itself!" Oyashiro-sama stamped his foot. "Mom and Dad never had this sort of trouble - how come I get it?"
The alien coughed again. "Balancing a religion is a delicate matter, Oyashiro-sama. According to your studies in the Private Academy for Power-crazy Gods and Godesses, it states that when making deals with small, large-headed men-things, a bioterrorism crisis will occur in villages with a name beginning with 'H'."
Oyashiro-sama looked at him suspiciously. "Did you just make that up?"
"No, of course not!" The alien held up a thick book. It was leather-bound, and a stream of light appeared from the ceiling and shone onto it. "It's written on page 167. Rule #12B. 'If a one attempts to make deals with small, large-headed men-things, a bioterrorism crisis will occur in villages with a name beginning with 'H'.'"
Oyashiro-sama eyed him suspicious. "Al-righty then." He sighed. "Whatever. I don't care. Next time, I'll make the legend for fool-proof. And then no one will challenge me..." He picked up his remote control. "I'll deal with the writers later. The plot's already messed up - stupid chapters and alternate universes."
The alien sighed. "Oh, this does not bode well for me."
- And that was how the show ended. -