Illegal Parodies, a parodies and spoofs fanfic

Illegal Parodies.

Bioshock Hacking.

Rushing through a hack in a really panicked way

Securibot blows up, creating your bad day

Coded door opens, which makes your spirits rise

Oh, what fun it is to hack and shoot in Bioshock tonight!

Oh, Bioshock, Bioshock, Big Daddies abound

To protect Little Sisters they pound Splicers to the ground, oh!

Bioshock, Bioshock, Big Daddies abound

To protect Little Sisters they pound Splicers to the ground

Adapted from 'Jingle Bells'; Public Domain.

ConDem Christmas.

So this is Christmas, and what have you done?

Another war over, a new one just begun.

And so Happy Christmas, budget cuts your fun,

Aimed at the disabled, the old, and the young.

A very Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year,

Though we won't enjoy them, 'cos we're filled with fear.

Lives are over, 'cos you caused that,

Lives are over now.

Cyrodiilic Vampires.

Don't set store by a Sanguivore

He will hypnotise you till you start to snore

Then his health he'll keep (Just because it's cheap)

By feeding on your lifeblood while you're deep in sleep

Don't set store by a Sanguivore

They are infamous in Tamrielic Lore

Lord Imbel, Seridur, and Janus Hassildor

You should never set store by any Sanguivore

You may be a quite friendly guy

Who thinks no one would tell him lies

But those sanguivores wear disguise

So they can feed from you

On the sly

For instance:

Don't set store by a Sanguivore

He will hypnotise you till you start to snore

Then his health he'll keep (Just because it's cheap)

By feeding on your lifeblood while you're deep in sleep

Don't set store by a Sanguivore

They are infamous in Tamrielic Lore

Vicente, Seridur, and Rona Hassildor

You should never set store by any Sanguivore

Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me (Parody).

Don't let the Sun go down on me

(Don't let the Sun)

Although I search myself, it's only scarring that I see

I just allowed a portion of my pride to be burnt free, oh

And losing my manhood was 'cos of the Sun going down on me

Epona's Ditty.

Epona

Little horse

Celtic goddess whom I ride

Carry me to Zelda

We will rescue her

Epona

Brave young one

Best beloved of Malon

Cantering through Hyrule

Epona

Fairytale Music Box.

Cinderella

And the Little Mermaid, too

And Snow White, whose stepmother thought she slew

All fit together on this music box

And when it's completed

The stairway's key unlocks

Glorious Blood.

Blood, blood, glorious blood

Nothing quite like it, it just tastes so good

So follow me, follow, down to the hollow

And there we will swallow some marvellous blood

God Rest You Merry, Gentlefolk

God rest you merry, gentlefolk, let nothing you dismay

Loads of impoverished pensioners have died for you this day

Those poor blighters froze to death, "Heat or eat," they did say

All to provide you with your bonuses, 'cos you're fat cats

To provide you with your banking bonuses

God rest you merry, gentlefolk, let nothing you dismay

Loads of blameless disabled people died for you this day

Those poor souls' conditions worsened once they'd lost their pay

All to provide you with your bonuses, 'cos you're fat cats

To provide you with your banking bonuses

God rest you merry, gentlefolk, let nothing you dismay

Reflect upon how lucky you are on this winter's day

No need to live in the Third World to toil to make our way

All to provide you with your bonuses, 'cos you're fat cats

To provide you with your banking bonuses

Adapted from 'God Rest You Merry, Gentlemen'; Public Domain.

Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee (Amy Winehouse Version).

Hi-diddle-dee-dee

A rock star's life for me

A gold sovereign and a platinum chain

A pipe of crack and a line of cocaine

Hi-diddle-dee-doo

You're drunk till after two

You promenade as high as a kite

A bong in your left hand, a spliff in your right

You're gouching each and every night

A rock star's life for me!

I Have to Mate.

I have to mate for three months every year

I have to mate, and that's not the worst thing, I fear

The more I mate, the more I cause Fox pain

And the more his pain, the more that I am filled with shame

My misplaced instincts are to blame

I Killed a Guy.

I killed a guy and I liked it

It was really cathartic

I killed a guy just to try it

Hope that my friends don't mind it

It felt so wrong, it felt so right

Don't mean I'm Psycho tonight

I killed a guy and I liked it

I liked it

Liberating Zelda.

Zelda, I'm coming to you

I will rescue you from the evil Ganondorf

Just hold on real tight, I'll make sure you're alright

I will be there tonight, Hime!

Zelda, I'm coming to you

I will rescue you, I promise!

You see, I love you

Zelda of Hyrule

I swear I'll save you

So hang on for me, okay?

Zelda, I'm coming to you

I will rescue you from the evil Ganondorf

Just hold on real tight, I'll make sure you're alright

I will be there tonight, be there tonight, be there tonight

Be there tonight, be there tonight, be there tonight

Be there tonight, be there tonight

Hang tight, Princess, I will be right there for you!

No Thanks to Bad Adverts.

And I say no thanks to the adverts

The ones I'm watching

With ADR and lip-synch matching

We can live without them, I state in all honesty

What could life be

Without such crap being shown on TV?

So I say no thanks to dubbed adverts

Don't foist them off on me

Oh, What a Bethesda!

Oh, what a bethesda! It's horribly glitched

Oh, what a bethesda! Each bug is a bitch

We're happy to see you, Obsidian

'Cos Bethesda made of Fallout 3 a haggard harridan

Oh, what a bethesda! It's horribly glitched

Oh, what a bethesda! Each bug is a bitch

We're happy to see you, Obsidian

'Cos Bethesda screwed up Fallout 3 as well as Oblivion

Oh, what a bethesda! It's horribly glitched

Oh, what a bethesda! Each bug is a bitch

We're happy to see you, Obsidian

'Cos Bethesda screwed up Fallout 3, and now they've FUBAR Skyrim

The Ouch! Anthem.

We need more defenestration

Let's chuck Dave out the window

Only good ConDem's a dead one

Mirror, leave us crips alone

Hey! Mail! Leave us crips alone

All we want is just to have enough to live on

Choir:

We need more defenestration

Let's chuck Dave out the window

Only good ConDem's a dead one

Mirror, leave us crips alone

Hey! Mail! Leave us crips alone

All we want is just to have enough to live on

See Our Garden.

See our garden, what we're growin'

Will real soon have your blood flowin'

Love, for you, can be amazin'

Use this flour, it's self-raisin'!

Sheikah Lullaby.

Close your eyes, Zelda, go to sleep

Impa will stand watch over you

Close your eyes, Princess, go to sleep

Impa will be here

I'll stand watch over you

I will be here with you

I'll keep you safe all through the night

Song of Legend (Long).

Great Hero of Legend,

heal the Future in order to save the Past.

Great Hero of Legend,

heal the Future in order to save the Past.

To rectify our error grave,

the Realm of Hyrule you must save.

Great Hero of Legend,

heal the Future in order to save the Past.

Song of the Jailbreakers.

We don't need no vilgehk trojans

DRM is e-cancer

All we want is what we paid for

LG, leave us geeks alone

Hey! Apple! Leave us geeks alone!

All we want is just to jailbreak our cell phones

All we want is just to stop renting our cell phones

Choir:

We don't need no vilgehk trojans

DRM is e-cancer

All we want is what we paid for

LG, leave us geeks alone

Hey! Apple! Leave us geeks alone!

All we want is just to jailbreak our cell phones

All want is just to have purchased our cell phones

Strange World.

All around me are familiar faces

Dunmer places, Orcish faces

Bright and early for their daily races

To be murdered in my contracts

The beer is filling up their stone mugs

Least they're comfy in their own world

Hang my head, can't even drown my sorrow

What's tomorrow? What tomorrow?

And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad

The dreams in which I'm human are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take

While I roam as a vampire, it's a very, very…

Strange world, strange world

This Tamriel World

Strange world

That's a Horcrux.

Nobody knows where my Severus has gone

But Evans left the same time

Why was his arm round her waist

When he's supposed to be mine?

That's a Horcrux, and I'll die when I want to

Die if I have to, the way I want to

You would die too, if Snape euthanised you

This Tune is Public Domain.

This tune's Public Domain

So it's free, WMG

'Cos it's Public Domain!

Adapted from 'Good Morning to All' AKA 'Happy Birthday to You'; Public Domain.

Unbroken Promise.

Lake Toluca x8.

I am waiting for you in our special place

'cos a promise always should remain unbroken x7

I am waiting for you in our special place

'cos I have some words that really must be spoken

You're my killer x16

I forgive you x7

I forgive you, James…

Vengeance in Lebensbaum.

Eike Kusch, I'll track you

Eike Kusch, I'll kill you

Because you took Mommy from me

When you gave that Red Stone to Daddy

Eike Kusch, I'll track you

Eike Kusch, I'll kill you

When you are least expecting me

I will strike you down from an alley

I am gonna track you!

I am gonna kill you!

Eike Kusch, I will prevent your sin!

We Wish You a Gaming Christmas.

We wish you a glitch-free Christmas

We wish you a bug-free Christmas

We wish you a gaming Christmas

But that just ain't Skyrim

Bethesda Softworks

Are real tightwad jerks

And you won't have a merry Christmas

As you playtest Skyrim

Adapted from 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas'; Public Domain.

When You're Strange.

People are cruel when you are different

Faces twist with hate, then you're alone

NTs seem wicked when you're Autistic

Karma's unfairness gets you down

When you're strange, visages loom from the rain

When you're strange, your 'friends' mock your very name

When you're strange, when you're strange

When you're strange

People are cruel when you are different

Faces twist with hate, then you're alone

NTs seem wicked when you're Autistic

Karma's unfairness gets you down

Short musical bridge

When you're strange, visages loom from the rain

When you're strange, your 'friends' mock your very name

When you're strange, when you're strange

When you're strange, yeah!

Long musical bridge

People are cruel when you are different

Faces twist with hate, then you're alone

NTs seem wicked when you're Autistic

Karma's unfairness gets you down

When you're strange, visages loom from the rain

When you're strange, your 'friends' mock your very name

When you're strange, when you're strange

When you're strange

Wrath of Sithis to You.

Wrath of Sithis to you

Wrath of Sithis, dear (name)

Wrath of Sithis to you

Adapted from 'Good Morning to All' AKA 'Happy Birthday to You'; Public Domain.

You Are a Pirate (Parody).

Yarr har, fiddle dee dee

If you download mp3s

You are a pirate

Yarr har, fiddle dee dee

Being a pirate is forced upon me

If all your music is DRM-free

You are a pirate

Yarr har, what a close shave

To be a pirate you have to be brave

If your phone's song files ain't from Musiwave

You are a pirate

Note: DRM is said to stand for Digital Rights Management by the industries that created it, but it actually stands for Digital Restrictions Malware, hence all the 'piracy' (properly known as copyright infringement).