Disclaimer: Sailormoon is not mine.

Summary: what if when Mamoru broke up with Usagi he really did lose her forever?

Ok well this story takes place within the sailor stars time line, however it will have a twist in it, Mamoru has not yet gone over sea's another thing is the dreams to break up Usagi and Mamoru (remember dark moon, I think it was season 1 or 2) well those dreams are happening now instead of back then (as in hasn't happened before)

Usagi has already has befriended the three lights.

The lights are all female like in the manga

To lose her

AN: I am re-writing this story, it's kinda my baby and I intend to finish it. I'm working on improving the chapters one by one, this is the first of many and it will be finished. I'm really sorry for how long its taken, life had caught up with me in many ways and I'm sorry I didn't finish it… but here is the new and improved prologue to my story.

To old and new readers alike, it might do good to re read it however you don't need to in order to under and follow the story.

Prologue -

It was another normal night of waking up to nightmares for Chiba Mamoru. He had gotten used to waking up to the nightly horrors, however over the past few weeks but each night they got worse, her death more graphic, more painful, he hoped they would go away soon. He thought as he felt a chill along his spine, those dreams they felt so real to him. Those nightmares he thought correcting him self, he could still see her pale milky skin, that long blonde hair, all life gone from her beautiful blue eyes, as those empty blue eyes looked up into him.

These nightmares haunted him, they felt different from normal nightmares normal from different the subconscious desires of the mind, he never wanted his Usako to hurt. He would do anything to protect his love, anything to keep that emptiness of life from her eyes.

He shifted in his bed the darkness of his room was too much, even with the light of the moons glow drifting in from his window. He turned to his nightstand, and pulled the cord to his lamp, the brightness of it burned his eyes as they slowly adjusted to the blinding light, 'the light' he though 'will keep me safe from the darkness'.

Mamoru closed his eyes as he accepted what was in the back of his mind, breathing slowly he allowed him self to slowly come to grips with the fact that they might be premonitions of things to come. However the thought of breaking up with his Usako over a dream or nightmares was just to unbearable to do. It was only a dream right?

"It was only a dream" he repeated to him self over and over as if to make him self believe it. "The dreams are only continuing because you think so much about it though out the day and before bed, baka." The black haired man said assure him self.

He laid back down in his bed, letting his eyelids drift shut allowing his body to relax as sleep over take his mind. The nightmares danced in his mind, his eyes twitching his body tense waiting for an attack.

The light bulb flickering from within its socket and then the room was pitched into darkness.

xXxXxXx

Mamoru woke up with the sunlight streaming into his bedroom, he slowly got up and went into the bathroom facing the mirror he saw his tear streaked face and he knew that the nightmares had continued after he had fallen back to sleep again. He felt the dull headache behind his eyes from crying, he knew then what he needed to do to protect his love. He fell to his knee's as the tears slid down his cheeks again his hands clenched and nails biting into the soft flesh of his palm, he felt the sharp pain as they cut into his skin and the blood rolled out and he felt a slight relief from the pain in his heart as he looked down at the palms of his hands.

It was his blood, not hers. It would never be hers, he swore that to him self as he felt a trail roll over his fingers as he clenched his fingers tighter. He would never allow her to be hurt because he was weak, he would be strong for her, and he would take the burden he would take the pain so that she would be spared.

Unclenching his hands he looked down and saw the red moon marks on his palms, the drips that trailed down his finger. "One more night" he said out loud to him self, one more night of nightmares and he'd break up with her he thought. "Kami-sama, please let me not have nightmares tonight, I don't know what I would do if I lost my Usako" he whispered to the cool morning air. Hoping that the heavens would answer his prayers, so he could keep his angel within his arms.

He went about his day, avoiding the girl of his dreams. He needed to keep away from the blonde for now. He needed to keep his mind off of her; he needed to keep his mind off of the nightly visions of her death.

He stayed within his apartment studying most of the day away, to keep his mind from her. He lay within his bed reading the text that lay beside him, the sun sinking lower in the horizon, he turned to his lamp not thinking and pulled the cord to turn the bulb inside on and nothing happened. Grimacing he went to the closet to get a new bulb, as he took off the lamp shade and looked at the bulb he had just replaced the day before. The bulb blacked from the inside, as if burnt, the glass fractured lightly under his touch, this was the fourth bulb this week.

His thoughts drifted to his blonde girlfriend, and her happy carefree smile, the wind dancing in her hair as she lightly walked though the park toward him. As she got closer darkness started to settle in, her skin paler, her sunlight hair dull, and her eyes lost their shine as she looked at him and reached toward his hand. He quickly shook him self out of his thoughts.

"So much for not thinking about it baka" he said to him self as the promised night grew closer.

The phone rang and he ignored it, he ignored her voice on the answering machine asking for him to pick up the phone and talk to her, saying she missed him, saying she loved him.

She loved him that was enough to make him hopeful that it might work. That these really were just nightmares and not visions. He made a promise that he wouldn't allow hurt to befall her. A promise he intended to keep he thought as he relaxed reading the text again to keep his mind off of the hour.

He was growing tired, his eyes sore from all of the reading he had been doing though out the day. Thoughts raged though his head as he tried to ignore them, he let his eyes close and he welcomed sleep hoping that it would grant him the peace that he wished for.

He saw her walking toward him, her eyes glowing with happiness, the white gown swirling around her ankles as the breeze picked lightly. She was glowing as she walked toward him; all eyes were on his beautiful bride as each step brought her closer. Her creamy skin, paled and her cheeks slowly hollowed before his eyes. Her eyes slowly sinking in as her hair lost its light. She lost her footing and he reached out toward her running to catch her as she fell, her vibrant blue eyes empty as his fingers touched her arm. All life was gone from her, she shook her body trying to wake her, gasping for breath it was suppose to be the best day of their lives! He was supposed to have a family with her! .. never leave her side.. never hurt again with her, but he killed her..

His eyes snapped open with a start. It was him, he was hurting her, and he was killing her. He let a tear roll down his cheek as he accepted the thought that these dreams might be visions. He would do anything to protect his love, to make sure that she was safe, safe from him, safe from whatever was going to happen because he was in her life.

He mindless got ready, and dressed. Leaning over the sink he washed his face to erase the tears from his cheeks, his mind made up with his decision made a quick phone call after hanging up he made his way out of the building, and down the street slowly in a daze. This is something he had to do, he needed to protect her, even if that meant losing his true happiness.

Mamoru was knocked out of his thoughts as his blonde girlfriend ran into him on her way to school he looked down into her smiling face as his arms wrapped around her by reflex 'this will be the last time, to see her happy. The last time I'll see her again' He added to him self as he had decided the only way that she would be safe is that if he left he decided to take up the offer of the scholarship to America that he had gotten recently, he was leaving later that day to his new home, years before he was ready and wanted to go, he wanted Usako to come with him when she was out of high school, to take her there as his wife, but that dream would never happen for them now. Her chatter knocking him out of his thoughts and into the world again, he looked down at her with tears in his eyes.

"Oh Mamo-chan, you'll never guess what" she said as she smiled up at him. He put his hand up to stop her chatter before he wanted to wait another day, he didn't have the time, he needed to tell her now. Looking down at the small blonde in his arms he wanted to cry "Usagi, I think we need to have a talk" he said before he broke down. She caught his eyes and her were so confused, hearing her words as they slammed into his heart. "Why Usagi… you know I love it when you call me Usako, Mamo-chan" she said, as he was leading her to a near by bench to sit down, and she slipped into his lap unconsciously, ready to a talk, 'I can't do this, I can't hurt her, but I can't chance her death because I'm to selfish to let her go!' "Mamo-chan you said you wanted to talk" she said interrupting his thoughts yet again. He reached down and moved her slightly to sit besides him instead and turned to face her. She frowned and looked up at him and reaching out and holding his hands lightly in her own

"Usagi, I made a big choice that I think you should know of," he said well looking into her eyes. "I'm moving tomorrow morning to America, and.. and I think that we both should start seeing other people Usagi" he barely said above a whisper.

"But Mamo-chan" she protested loudly getting ready to argue and cry.

'She's my little fighter' he thought as he interrupted her "No buts Usagi, I made a choice and this is what I want to do with my life"

"But Mamo-chan, What about everything! What about us! What about the future!" she exclaimed with tears running silently down her cheeks.

"We have no more future together Usagi" he said as he was getting up, and letting go of her hands. "What about our destiny Mamo-chan.. what about us, our future together.. what about Chibi-Usa" smiling sadly as she remembered her pink haired little bunny, that she was going to tell Mamoru about.

"I want a free life from destiny Usagi, a life free from knowing" he said as he walked away with the unfinished sentence on his lips of 'I want a life without visions of your death Usako, Chibi-Usa and the future can never be with you dead my love.' Leaving his now ex girlfriend leaning against the park bench crying her heart out as he walked away to his empty apartment to pack.

The blonde haired normally energetic teenager leaned over the park bench. Hyperventilating and crying she tried to steady her tears after hours of crying. "I don't want you to stay because of her" the blonde muttered "I don't want you to stay because of destiny, I wanted you to stay because you love me, and want to be with me as much as I want to be with you Mamo-Chan." She said barely above an audible whisper. She looked up suddenly with tear stained eyes as she felt a warm hand resting on her shoulder, seeing her friend Seiya she dove into her friend's warm embrace

"He broke up with me Seiya…" she said again over and over in a broken whisper.

Broke up with me

Broke up with me

Broke up with me, she thought within her head

And I'm pregnant with Chibi-Usa as the thought rushed into Usagi's head; her world came crashing down upon her as she silently cried within Seiya's arms, as the dark haired girl rocked the smaller girls body gently back and forth to try and clam the smaller girl in her arms.

Humming gently trying to comfort the blonde girl in her arms, as the sun slowly dipped down into the horizon and the air turned chilly around them. The ground grew colder as evening fled and night set in.

"Come on Usa" The dark haired girl said, pulling the smaller girl up and trying to walk, the blonde dragged. Looking at the other girl told her she was in no condition to go anywhere she sighed and picked the smaller girl up and walked toward home. The blonde girl wrapped her arms around the other girls shoulders and set her head down crying slightly in pain.