A/N: This is a parody/romance, as you can tell from the categories (parody/romance). I have to say; this is a bit of total randomness and insanity that I whipped up while in Florida last week. Thank you for appreciating (enduring is probably a better word) this. This contains a bit of sci-fi, parallel universes and stuff like that. So, if that bothers you too much, then you might want to abandon this when it comes to the part that says, 'In a parallel universe,' or something like. (O.o, while it might signify other things, right now signifies the transition between points of view. Normally I'd make them different chapters, but in the cases where O.o is used, the two sections in which the POV change occurs are too short to air separately. Thanks again.) Erik is so mine, it's not even funny. The rest of you claim him, but can you say that the Phantom has gotten you pregnant and have it be TRUE?

P.S. I'm listening to the movie soundtrack. (I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE YET! CURSES!) What really irks my pickle is that the cover piccie on the CD was developed backward, so Erik has the mask on the wrong side of his face!

P.P.S. Christine is SO annoying, I decided to stick her with the fop Raoul and give Erik to a girl who truly deserves him.

P.P.P.S. I AM NOT BRITISH! I AM A SOUTHERN HICK, Y'ALL! I only use the English system because this takes place in Paris and the Parisians invented the meter, or metre, as I'm suddenly going to call it (I've been reading too much Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. DIE ZAPHOD BEEBLEBROX!)

P.P.P.P.S I apologize for any discrepancies as far as the setting is concerned. (like if Erik and Kathleen are talking in the middle of the lake. Just use your imagination.) I know the music far more than the setting. This is supposed to be based on the movie, and I haven't even seen it yet. sighs So, any knowledge I have of the setting is from FanFictions and synopses.

Disclaimer: All the characters (right now, at least), except for Kathleen, belong to someone else. Andrew Lloyd Webber, I think. Use Kathleen without my permission and DIE! Email me for permission to use her or any other of my original characters.

O.o

"You try my patience. Make your choice!" This was the Phantom.

Christine trembled. Her love, Raoul, was caught in the Phantom's noose. She could "love" the Phantom by spending the rest of her life with him, and Raoul would go free. Conversely, if she turned her back on the Phantom, she would go, and Raoul would die. This was the choice. The point of no return, as her 'host' put it.

The Phantom spoke again. "Another guest? My, a busy night. Excuse me, my dear, my…well," and he swept out through the portcullis. Suddenly a curtain swished down, hiding from the view of Christine and Raoul the events transpiring beyond.

The new guest was a girl of about Christine's age. She was a study in contradictions. She seemed small and delicate, but, looking closer, Erik saw she was only a small handful of centimetres shorter than he, just under two metres. She seemed to exude an air of strength as she looked up at him. Obviously a dancer, she was wearing a pair of battered black Pointe shoes and a slinky black dress with a ruffle. Yes, a ruffle! Erik winced. He hated ruffles. The girl noticed where his stare was going and winked at him. Yes, she winked at him!

"I hate ruffles, too. This is my cloak," she told him. Then she pulled the ruffle off her dress and unrolled it. It did, indeed, turn out to be a high quality cloak, fine enough that it could be folded up without turning into a bulky lump. She draped it around herself, smiling impishly at the man before her. "I didn't want to go trawling through the bowels of the Opera House looking too much like you. I'm not your wife or anything." Unknown to the other, the word yet went through both of their minds.

Erik then looked at her face. It was a shade paler than his own. She had a full mouth and a small nose. Her hair was waist length and black and covered the entire right side of her face. Her eyes, well, the one he could see, was exquisite. A stunning blue with most interesting emerald chips in it; it seemed change color with each passing second. In short, Erik found her enchanting.

The plot thickens. Erik loved Christine. Christine thought she loved Raoul. Stupid fop, Erik thought. Raoul of course, had some feelings toward Christine, but Erik would not call it love. It would be a bit awkward if the love triangle was a circle…

Now, this dazzling stranger could drastically shift the balance of power.

"Where did you come from? Who are you?" Erik asked, unused to a stranger in his opera house.

"My name is Kathleen. I heard the commotion."

Erik nodded. That was plausible. That fop had cried quite loudly when he was caught. Wanting to get a better look at her, Erik tucked the hair which he had thought had fallen in her face behind her ear. Little did he know, it was quite an impressive construction that Kathleen put herself through each morning. That fact was revealed to him, however. The entire area around her right eye was a morass of scars.

Kathleen smiled wryly. "A little over three years ago, I was practicing my ballet routine while walking to rehearsal. I tripped. I had a fight with the street, and the street won. The doctors said I was lucky I didn't lose the eye, then put me in the poorhouse because, though my father was rich, I didn't dare tell him, and my own pocket money that I'd saved up over the years, while substantial, was nothing compared to the bills those swindlers put on me." Her voice turned bitter, then sad. "It was because I was a lone woman, barely more than a child, and had no ties to anyone, or so I said. I had to give up the one thing I loved. Name one time when you've seen a ballerina wearing a mask. I guess you can call me the Phantomette of the Ballet. Some of the ballet chorus girls know of me, but I keep myself under wraps, and so far it's worked out."

The Phantom was astounded. He felt anger that this person could just waltz in to his Opera House and presume to understand him to the point where she mocked his title. Yet, at the same time, he understood her plight, and that was enough to keep her alive, no matter what he might want to do otherwise. He didn't know what came over him next. Wordlessly, he put his arms around the Phantomette.

Kathleen returned the hug and kissed his left cheek. Then she turned a little red. Erik thought it was because he'd been so presumptuous and she felt violated, but it was really the thoughts that were going through her mind. Hastily getting her mind on a different track, she asked her host, "Can I borrow a mask? Having to wear my hair all down in my face for the past three years has really gotten on my nerves."

Erik produced a mask nearly identical to his own from seemingly nowhere. It had a few alterations to make it fit on a female face, should this moment ever come. He'd had a lot of free time to think of scenarios like this. Silently, he handed it over, still thinking he'd violated her and had blown any chances he might have of getting her to like him in any way.

Kathleen nodded her thanks to Erik, to busy with her copious amount of hair to say anything. After putting the mask on, she slicked her hair back with a look of relief. I never thought I'd be able to do that again.

Erik marveled at her. He and she could have been twins. "Come, I have two other guests," he said with excessive formality, "and I would like you to meet them."

Kathleen grinned. "Is that fop Raoul tied up?"

Erik marveled even more. "Yes, if it's any of your business."

"Good."

Then, as one, Phantom and Phantomette turned and walked through the curtain to the room where Christine and Raoul resided.