James Wilson get the Chicken Pox redo version, a house, m.d. fanfic

Apparently I wrote House a little too nice last time so I went back and redid the entire story....hopefully this new version is a little more in character. Please review and tell me what you think. =) Thanks for reading!

Wilson sighed as he picked up the chart from the nurse's station. He would never admit it but he hated clinic duty almost as much as House did. The whiney patients, the runny noses and the overly concerned parents all made him long for the time where he packed his briefcase and headed back to the quiet of his apartment. He gingerly opened the door to the exam room and stepped inside.

"Hello. I'm Dr. Wilson. How can I help you and your daughter today?" Wilson shot a fake smile at the anxious looking young mother and her three year old daughter sitting on the exam table.

"Jenny has a fever and this rash all over her body. I think it might be chicken pox…."

"Excuse me a second, please." Wilson dashed out of the exam room and stopped in front of the nurse's station. "You gave me a kid who has chicken pox? It says right on my file that I have never had them! I can't be near a kid who has chicken pox!"

"Haven't you been vaccinated?" The nurse asked looking a bit puzzled.

"No!" Wilson exclaimed. "I thought I was immune!"

"If you are immune than why are you worrying?" The nursed turned from puzzled to annoyed.

"Never mind." Wilson sputtered. He darted into Cuddy's office. "I've been exposed to chicken pox."

Cuddy didn't bother looking up from her computer. "So?"

"So? I've never had them before!"

"I thought you were vaccinated." Cuddy continued typing away at her keyboard. "What's a better way of saying thoughtless jerk? I have to write a letter to the board explaining House's last case."

Wilson looked down at the carpet. "How about spirited free-thinker? And I thought I was immune."

"What?" Cuddy finally pulled her eyes away from the computer. "What were you thinking?"

Wilson gave sheepish smile. "I take it you have been described as a spirited free-thinker before?"

Cuddy sighed. "Go home James. Take a few weeks off and get some rest. You better pray that you are really immune or you'll be stuck at home with the chicken pox and only House to take care of you." Wilson shuttered internally at the thought.

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"What are you doing here?" House threw his jacket and helmet on the back of the couch.

"If I have chicken pox I don't want to spread it to the neighbor's kids. There are no kids in your building. I'm guessing you scared them all away with your sunny disposition." It had been two weeks since Wilson had been exposed to the pox and he was tired of sitting alone in his apartment waiting for the rash to appear.

"Lame excuse. Everybody but brainless oncologists and weirdo hippies get vaccinated for the chicken pox these days. What kind of idiot works in a hospital, has never had the chicken pox but doesn't get vaccinated? You have health insurance. Or are you secretly a hippie? I should have guessed by the way you wear your hair."

Wilson self consciously ran a hand over his light brown locks. "There is nothing wrong with my hair. And I thought I was immune."

House snorted. "That just proves you're an idiot."

"I'm not an idiot……I've been exposed before and never caught them."

"Whatever, idiot." House slid onto the couch next to Wilson. "Scoot over; I don't want you pox germs all over me."

"I need to lie down."

"So go home. You have a bed."

"I told you…."

"Oh shut up. You're here because you're sad and pathetic and you don't want to be alone when you're sick. Why don't you hire a hooker to keep you company? Or are all of you ex-wives busy tonight?"

"Shut up House." Wilson scrunched up against the side of the couch.

"Aren't you leaving?" Wilson ignored the comment and moved over to a recliner in the corner. The pair sat in silence watching TV until Wilson could hear House's gentle snoring coming from the couch.

"House." Wilson tried to shake his friend awake. He thought about just going home but felt too sick to drive. "Wake up. You're going to make your leg hurt worse sleeping on that couch."

"Get off of me." House mumbled half asleep. "Find your own couch."

Wilson sighed and settled down in the recliner.

Wilson woke later than night alone in House's living room. He felt feverish and itchy. He throat was dry and sore. A shadow loomed over him. "House?" He rasped.

The shadow handed him two white pills and a glass of water. "You have the chicken pox you moron. Take these and go back to sleep. Your moaning is keeping me awake."

"What…" Wilson rasped. The pills hurt as they slid down his throat but the water felt cool and refreshing.

"Go back to sleep." The shadow repeated. Wilson felt a cool hand brush softly over his hot cheek. Wilson was sure he was hallucinating and closed his eyes. He quickly drifted back off to sleep.

"Why are you still here? Are you planning on making me breakfast?"

Wilson groaned. "I'm sick and I am not making you breakfast."

"Ungrateful. See if I ever let you use my recliner again." House nosily made his way into the kitchen. A few minutes later returned and dropped a bowl of oatmeal next to Wilson. "Chocolate chip oatmeal sounds great but tastes like crap."

"Thanks." Wilson sat up uncomfortably and took the bowl. "How is it that you even have food in the house?"

"The food fairy must have blessed my kitchen." House replied sarcastically. "I asked for booze but she messed up and brought oatmeal."

"Maybe if you leave an empty beer bottle under your pillow she'll get the point."

House scoffed. "Like I'm going to take advice from somehow who makes out with chickens."

"I make out with chickens…let me guess. Some clever comment about my current condition?"

"No. Just surprised you aren't bragging about your new girlfriend. Or did she dump you when she realized you were covered in pustules?"

"Whatever." Wilson grumpily began to eat his breakfast. He was surprised to hear the water in the bathroom running a few minutes later. "House?"

House came back in the room and tossed a towel at his friend. "Don't do anything in there that I wouldn't do in your bathroom…wait I take that back. Don't do anything I would or wouldn't do in your bathroom. Do you use bleach in there? If not I would seriously consider it." Wilson shot House a questioning looking. "Are you going to take a bath or not? I'm not using your credit card to pay my water bill so I can fill up my tub for nothing. Oh, wait." House gave a fake laugh. "Yes I am."

"I've been paying your water bill?" Wilson moaned as he made his way down the hall. He was starting to wish he had just stayed alone in his apartment. When he reached House's bathroom he found the tub had been filled with an oatmeal bath. "Did you….?"

"Trust me. You don't want to know what I did in there." House called from the living room. "Let' just say it involved….. "

"Shut up House." Wilson rolled his eyes as he also found a large plastic Godzilla action figure floating in the tub. He tossed the toy aside and crawled into. The oatmeal bath felt good on his incredibly itchy exterior. He could hear House out in the living room on the phone with Cuddy.

"Yup….chicken pox….I know, the idiot…..No! He's a grown man. He can take care of himself……No…..I have the germs all over me now……okay. See you later."

Wilson shivered as he wrapped himself in the towel. He yelped as he turned around and found House standing behind him holding a tube of ointment. "What are you doing in here? I'm naked!"

"I like haven't seen that before." House scoffed. "Don't worry. Your pox covered ass doesn't do anything for me." House tossed a tube of ointment at Wilson. "Judge Judy is on in ten minutes."

Wilson reluctantly picked up the tube of ointment, being careful to keep the towel wrapped tightly around his waist. "That does feel good."

"Keep it to yourself." House said gruffly. He went to a cabinet and pulled out a rubber glove. "Turn around."

"What are you…?" Wilson started to question. He yelped and jumped back as he felt a cool breeze on his backside. "What are you doing?"

"Will you shut your mouth?" House snapped. "You're such a girl. It's not like I've never seen your ass before." Wilson turned beet red as House applied the ointment to his backside. House threw out the glove, tossed a pair of boxers and a t-shirt at Wilson, and quickly left the bathroom.

Wilson was still blushing as he quickly got dressed and made his way into the living room. The couch all made up with a pillow and several blankets. "Did you…?"

"Lay down. You're getting your pox germs all over my apartment." House moved over to the end of the couch. "Move your legs." Wilson curled into a small ball at the top of the couch. "I'm only letting you stay here so Cuddy will let me stay home. She doesn't want an epidemic of sick idiot oncologists and weirdo hippies. One sick idiot is bad enough." Wilson sighed to himself as he closed his eyes and drifted off to the sound of Judge Judy on the TV.

"Wake up time Jimmy." House said loudly, waving a cup of soup under Wilson's nose.

Wilson groaned. He felt worse than he did before his nap. "Is that broccoli cheddar soup?"

"No, it's chicken feed. For people with chicken pox." House said sarcastically. "I sent Thirteen to get me some lunch. Cuddy is afraid if I leave the apartment her precious Wonderboy is going to catch one of those nasty flesh eating viruses I might bring home so I'm stuck here with you." House took a large bit of his Ruben. "Luckily I have enough porn and beer to last through a nuclear holocaust."

"I can't believe you remember my favorite kind of soup." Wilson said. The shock of House actually remembering something he liked made Wilson forget all about how much he hurt and itched.

"Who says I remembered?" House quipped back.

Wilson shook his head. "Can't take credit for anything nice can you?"

"I would if I ever did anything nice, which we both know I don't do. Now be a good little chicken and eat your soup. We want you in good shape when it comes time for the county fair."

Wilson took a bite of his soup and prayed House would stop with the chicken jokes sometime this century. He ached all over and hated himself for being so stupid about the vaccine. It would have only taken five minutes of his time and hurt a lot less than this did. He hoped that House never found out about the real reason he didn't get the vaccine. Wilson was deathly afraid of needles. He didn't mind poking other people with them but getting poked himself was a whole different story. The soup hurt as it slid its way down his scratchy throat.

"Are you done?" House asked impatiently. "How long does it take to eat a cup of soup?"

"Throat hurts." Wilson rasped. He was really starting to itch now.

"Big baby." House muttered as he headed into the bathroom. Wilson could hear the water running again. He reached down to scratch his leg. "No scratching!" Wilson quickly moved his hand away from his leg. House emerged from the bathroom holding the same towel Wilson had used earlier. "I wouldn't want to you ruin that perfect Wilson complexion."

"How thoughtful." Wilson grabbed the towel and made his way to the tub.

"Leave Godzilla in this time!" House called after him. Wilson rolled his eyes has he tossed the toy back onto the tile.

Later that night a very miserable Wilson found himself lying on House's couch covered from head to toe in smelly lotion. "Nite House."

"Nite Spot." House called back. "By the way, you ever mention me rubbing lotion on your ass ever I'll tell the world about how you like to paint your toe nails."

"They chip easily. It helps protect them." Wilson grouched.

"Sure….." House said as he rolled back over and went to sleep.

Three days later Wilson though he would be feeling better. Instead he felt like he was dying. His fever had spiked despite the Tylenol House had given him and his throat was killing him. He itched all over and not even the lotion seemed to be helping anymore. "I think I'm dying." Wilson moaned.

"Well die quietly. You're ruining the L Word." House grumped. He reached over and put a hand on Wilson's forehead. "Feels like your fever is going down not up. Here." House grabbed a can of Ginger Ale off of the coffee table and tossed it at Wilson.

"Thanks." Wilson said weakly. "My throat is really sore."

"I've heard that not talking really helps." House turned up the TV.

"Still hurts." Wilson whined as he swallowed a little of the Ginger Ale.

"Really. The not talking. Try it. I'm starving." A commercial came on and House limped into the kitchen. He quickly returned and chucked at cup of applesauce at Wilson's head.

Wilson let the cup bounce off the back of the couch and hit the floor. "Quit throwing things at me."

House picked up the applesauce and peeled back the lid. "Suit yourself." He picked up a spoon off of the coffee table and took a bite. Wilson snuggled against the back of the couch and closed his eyes. As soon as he was asleep House quietly pulled the blanket up over him and tucked it under his chin.

"I'm bored." Wilson proclaimed. This was usually one of House's signature exclamations but Wilson was tired of being stuck on the couch watching TV.

"In a few days you'll be back in the clinic picking up some other cootie from another filthy little snot nose. Didn't I tell you to stay away from Chase? Kid never washes his hands."

"I thought I got sick because I was dating a chicken." Wilson pointed out in a bored tone.

"No." House turned away from his laptop. "You got sick because you are a chicken. Too chicken to get vaccinated. I know about your fear of needles."

"What? Who told you?"

"Your mom. She told me she was surprised you ever wanted to be a doctor because of your horrible fear of needles. She also told me about the time you peed your pants when you were twelve because you were so afraid of getting your tetanus shot."

"Thanks mom." Wilson muttered to himself. "Why were you talking to my mom?" Wilson asked a little louder.

"More material for future mocking. She told me about how you are afraid of needles and are convinced you are allergic to apricots but really you just don't like them which is weird because you love nectarines. She also told me your favorite flavor of ice cream when you were a kid among other things."

Wilson looked confused. "And you are just bringing this up now because….?"

"I was saving it for just the right moment. Like when I need to blackmail you for money or more Vicodin. So far you've just given me both but I never know when you're going to get all bitchy on me."

"You are going to blackmail me with my favorite flavor of ice cream?" Wilson laughed. He would have to talk to his mom later and find out what other potently embarrassing things she had revealed to his best friend.

"Like I'd tell you." House snorted.

"I'll be sure to watch my back." Wilson rolled his eyes and turned on the TV.

"Well I'm glad you're back and feeling better. We missed you." Cuddy smiled.

Wilson smiled back. "Thanks Lisa. It's good to be back."

"Hey Wonderboy! I got lunch." House dropped a bag on Wilson's desk. "Who's Debbie? Her phone number was in your wallet."

"I'll leave you two alone." Cuddy smirked as she closed Wilson's office door behind her.

"Give me back my wallet House!" Wilson yelped.

"Fine. There's no money left it anyway."House dropped the wallet on the desk next to the bag.

"Thank you. And Debbie happens to be one of my patients. And no, I am not seeing her, dating her, or sleeping with her. She forgot to make a follow up appointment and I needed to call her later to remind her."

"She forgot to follow up on your date or just forgot to follow up after sleeping with you?"

"I told you I am not dating her! I've never even seen her outside of the hospital. I wish these scabs would hurry up and fall off."

House shook his head in mock disgust. "Sleeping with a patient while on the clock. Jimmy you dirty boy. I'm sure the nurses are digging on the spots. It gives you a very Dalmatian like quality. " House reached into the lunch bag and pulled out a handful of fries. "Chicks dig puppies."

"Thanks." Wilson said sarcastically. "I'll keep that in mind."

"It's your turn to buy dinner."

"It's always my turn to buy dinner."

"Don't get that pizza you did last time. It had a bunch of weird green stuff on it."

"See you later." Wilson smiled to himself as House left his office. He wondered what House would think if he knew he had told Cuddy that Greg had taken care of him while he had the chicken pox.

End.

Author's note: The author has nothing against hippies, spirited free-thinkers or people that don't get vaccinated for whatever reason.