Title: Squeeze Fruit
Subtitle: Silliness
Chapter: 1 - oneshot
Summary: No one should tease Cloud
Pairing: none
Rating: K total silliness
Warnings: demolished supermarkets
A/N: my muses and squeeze fruit
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Shopping is dangerous…
Reno came walking the Wallmarket, for his daily needs. Not the girl behind the counter of the meat department, but "Squeeze Fruit". It was a little shiny bag the size of your hand, containing some mixture of fruit and yoghurt drink that was supposed to be nutritious for you. Next to that, it came in different flavors. It smelled bad, but it tasted good.
It was presented on TV commercials by some people from some silly anime named Naruto, enjoying it and yelling with low voices: SQUEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZEEEEEEEE FRUUUUUUIIIIIIIIIT!!!!
Above all, it was the latest hot issue in Midgar.
Spotting his favorite person to be tormented – not Tseng – Reno zeroed in on him, at the milk department.
'Heya… Cloudy-man!' Slapping the smaller man on the shoulder Reno smirked. This ought to be good.
A kick to his shin was the result, followed by a small voice piping: 'Don't call him Cloudy-man! His name is Cloud!'
'Ouch!' holding his shin, Reno muttered beneath his breath, 'you need little girls to defend yourself nowadays?'
'No he doesn't! You're a mean mean man!' The little girl in question muttered before Cloud could save her from an EMR swatted at her head.
'Hey! Leave the girl alone.'
'Aw man… just some target practice.' Muttering about missing the little brat he noticed he had attention.
'Get your stuff and get out. People are staring at you.' Grumbled the spiked haired blonde before turning his attention to the stand of milk and yoghurt again.
That's when Reno spotted Cloud with the Squeeze Fruit in his hand.
'Bet you're buying for your little girl, right?' he danced in front of the stoic Cloud with the Squeeze Fruit.
'yes… got a problem with it?'
'Nope.'
'Ever tasted it yourself?'
'Why?'
'Let me help you.' Reno and being helpful is not a good combination.
That's when it happened.
Reno waved a small bag of Squeeze Fruit in front of Cloud's face.
Cloud reached for it and Reno pressed the little bag.
Marlene screamed.
Barret yelled.
Tifa plucked Marlene out of Barret's charging path.
Reno got flattened by Barret.
Cloud remained standing with Squeeze Fruit everywhere – his face, his hair, his clothes, dribbling inside his clothes.
'What the hell…' the blonde grumbled soft as Aerith tried to clean him up with a small paper handkerchief.
'Dear Shiva! All this stuff, it won't get out of your clothes and the hair… washing this will be hell…ah!'
Shoving her aside, Cloud reached for his Buster Sword and threw Barret of Reno.
What happened next, was carefully blocked from Marlene's view.
It involved Cloud practicing his fighting skills on Reno.
It ended with the Wallmarket flattened by a full blast of Materia and Cloud using one of his Limit Breaks, Reno dangling over a lamp post and Marlene happily enjoying her Squeeze Fruit with Cloud on the couch, playing Disney Hearts 2 after a nice warm bath…
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owari