It's dark. Pitch dark. A black abyss, filled with despair and hollowness. No light. No escape. No hope.
Just me. And darkness.
I failed. That's all I can think about, all day, all night. I failed my friends, I failed Mana.
I failed you.
My heart skipped a beat every time I saw you. Even though we argued most of the time, you calling me Moyashi and me calling you BaKanda.
I miss those times.
And where am I now? On the run, from the Order, from the Noahs. And from myself. The 14th. Every minute I wonder : am I going to survive? Will I manage to keep my thoughts or will Nea take over my body, which he claims is his? If that happens, will I come after you? To kill you?
I pray everyday for that not to happen.
Because you are someone special I don't want to lose even thought that might have already happened. And you were never mine in the first place. But you are alive and for me, at this point, that is more thatn enough reason to still keep going, to try to win this God forsaken war, to beat the Millenium Earl and the Noah family, whose member I just might be.
You are my reason to live.
Because, let's be honest, the easiest way to protect all of you is my death. And with that, Nea will also die. No more reasons for Earl to be after me.
So why do I still keep going?
Lenalee once said that her friends are her family and the most important thing in her life. That her world is like a globe shaped puzzle and we are the puzzle pieces. It's somewhat the same with me.
With one difference. Big difference.
My globe puzzle consist of several smaller pieces. And then there is one big piece, that takes almost half of the globe surface.
That big puzzle piece is you.
I can only imagine your face right now. I bet you are suprised. Disgusted maybe? It doesn't really matter at this point.
When you get this letter I'll be already far away and you guys will be sade. Hopefully.
Tell Johny not to follow me. To forget about me.
The same goes for you, Kanda.
Forget me.