is my first ...thingie...if you hate it, i will appear by your bedside and shove skittlez up you arse an' make you taste the freaking rainbow.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Orochimaru would be gay.
1. Tell a crowd of fan girls he sleeps with Jiraiya
2. Tell the fan girls where to find him
3. When Sasuke goes to him for power, kidnap him and say that he can't touch your Sasuke-kun
4. Tell Kabuto he plays with dolls
5. Turn him in for rape
6. Write 'angst in my pants' on his door
7. Paint otogakure with pink and white hearts
8. Sew frills on his clothes and under wear
9. Fill a double padded bra with super glue and trick him into wearing it
10. Pour sake on his head
11. Tell him Sasuke did it
12. Pay some one to rape him
13. Take pictures and yell "ha! How do you like them apples?"
14. Sell the pictures to fan girls
15. When he tries to kill you yell "watermelon jujitsu!" and throw a melon at him
16. Tell him Sasuke did it
17. Put lemonade in his shampoo
18. Tell the Akatsuki his greatest weakness
19. Wake him up at 2 AM to tell him you're pregnant with his baby
20. Ask him if he's ever kissed a boy and record his answer
21. If he says no, record him saying yes to something and put the two recordings together
22. Ask him what time it is and then yell "its peanut butter-jelly time!"
23. Ask him if he's heard the one about the snake in the toilet
24. Stuff his face in the toilet
25. Get plastered (necessary for 26)
26. Puke on him
27. Sell his virginity on eBay
28. Tell him that Kimimuro thinks he's fat
29. Blast the hampster dance song at two AM
30. Switch his shaving cream with spray cheese
Reaction: everyone thinks I'm a rapist and sleep with Jiraiya! Theres cheese on my face, I havent slept for two days, my village is frillier than my pants, theres a bra glued to my chest, a bruise from a melon on my face, the Akatsuki are gonna kill me, I'm blond and I smell like toilet! Why the hell did I let that retard in my village!