Hannibal Lecter was not a good man, but he was a talented one.
His many talents ranged from art to food to psychiatry to probably a dozen other things. And, as Will had just discovered, he was pretty gifted below the belt too.
He was nearing perfect. But regardless of he and his admittedly overwhelming ego thought or had to say, he was flawed just like everyone else.
The fact was, Hannibal Lecter snored.
Loudly.
Will considered wriggling out of Hannibal's arms and spending the night on his couch rather than deal with the deafening snoring in his ear all night, but he knew that would be rude, and left him vulnerable to nightmares. He considered waking Hannibal up and letting him know that his snoring sounded like a cross between an animal's growl and the revving of a motorcycle, but Will knew a claim like that would be denied.
How many people would Hannibal have slept with, after all, that were brave enough to tell him that he snored? Loudly, even?
Well, if you carry the one and add seven…probably zero, Will thought.
Will decided that the next best thing would be to record Hannibal's ungodly night sounds and then wake him up and have him listen to it. Will knew that was risky, but the idea made him chuckle and ultimately decide it would be worth it.
Will managed to squirm out of Hannibal's arms without waking him—not only did he snore loud enough to wake the dead, it appeared that he could sleep right through a hurricane too.
He tiptoed around the room, searching for his discarded pants that held his cell phone, which turned out to be in the hallway. Oops.
He slunk back into the bed next to Hannibal's sleeping form. Before Will pressed the record button, he took a moment to appreciate Hannibal's features. His after-sex hair—which was, admittedly, quite sexy—to his sculpted cheeks, to his lips, which Will had to restrain himself from kissing.
Click. He began the recording and pressed a hand over his mouth to keep from laughing. He recorded the sounds for several seconds before clicking the end button. That should do it.
Do I wake him up now? Will mused. Or wait until morning?
A particularly loud bout of snoring made the decision for him. "Hannibal," he said gently, shaking his sleeping form. "Hannibal. Wake up."
It took a few seconds, but eventually the snores were replaced with a groan as Hannibal opened his eyes. "Will? Are you alright?" His voice was thick with sleep, making his accent much more prominent.
"Yeah, I'm fine, I just need you to get up for a minute."
Hannibal blinked, but sat up. He glanced at the clock, then returned his gaze to Will. He didn't look mad, thank the heavens above, but he didn't look particularly pleased either. "What is it, Will?"
"Well, the thing is, Hannibal…" Will paused for dramatic effect. He couldn't help the grin that spread across his face as he said the next sentence. "You snore."
Hannibal blinked. "What?" he asked calmly.
"You snore. Loudly, might I add," Will repeated.
"No, I don't. Go back to sleep, Will," Hannibal said tiredly. He sounded pretty adamant about that.
Damn you, you self-absorbed bastard, Will thought. "Sorry, Hannibal, but you do. I even recorded it for you."
That made Hannibal pause. Will took the opportunity to tap the play button. The sound flooded out of the speaker.
Will tried desperately not to look smug as he saw Hannibal's expression briefly flicker from apathy to horror. The recording ended, and he held his breath.
"No one has informed me of that dreadful habit before," Hannibal said finally. "I apologize if it has kept you awake tonight."
"No, no, don't be sorry," Will said, laughing this time, partially out of relief that Hannibal wasn't pissed. "You can't help it. But yeah, it has been keeping me awake, but I didn't think you'd believe me if I just woke you up and told you, so…" He trailed off.
Hannibal nodded. "If you'd like to take the guest room tonight, feel free."
If he wanted to get any sleep, Will knew that was probably the best choice. All of a sudden, though, he didn't feel much like sleeping.
"Who says we have to do any sleeping yet?" Will said, as sexily as he could muster. Hannibal smirked. Will took it as an opportunity to plant his lips onto Hannibal's.
"Naughty boy," Hannibal said against Will's mouth. Will felt him smile.
Nah, there would probably not be much sleeping going on for the next few hours.