Disclaimer: I own nothing Harry Potter.* Kicks the ground*
Ok, so this fan fic.....is.........just weird.
Review Review Review! It's my first fan fic aswell.
Eat Your Vegetables
Harry was in the Great Hall one evening, and he had carrots for dinner.
"Fucking Hell, I hate carrots"
"I fucking well agree with you 'Arry," said Ron, Harry's best friend.
"Honestly you two, I think you should really eat them. They're brain food," said Hermione, Harry's other best friend
"Fucking God Hermione, is that all you think about?" asked Ron.
Harry looked down and thought he saw a carrot move from his plate
"AHHHHHHHH!! BLOODY FUCK!" yelled Harry in surprise.
"What the fuck is it?????" asked Ron.
"My fucking carrot moved!!" yelled Harry.
"What the fuck Harry, carrots don't move.....are you fucking insane???" said Ron.
"Mine fucking do." said Harry.
Ron walks over to Dumbledore. He taps his shoulder.
"Dumbledore! Harry's carrots are fucking possesed!" yelled Ron
"Dear fucking god! I thought my viagra was the only thing possesed!" said Dumbledore
Everyone in the Great Hall turn to Dumbledore and all the guys start laughing.
"What the fuck are you all laughing at? Gotta bring my best game!" said Dumbledore
Ron shakes his head and goes back over to the Gryffindor Table.
"Fuck, he was no help, talking bout his Viagra talking while he's shagging Mcgonagall."
"Don't too fucking loud, the fucking retards will hear us." whispered a carrot.
"Fucking Bitch, I was gonna shag that Cabbage!" said another carrot to a Tomatoe.
"Fuck you. I paid more." said the Tomatoe
Harry looks down, and sees them all talking.
"You fuckers, stop talking, you......can't........."
"Shut the fuck up Harry, you use Her Pleasure Trojan Condoms when you fuck Draco. " said a very annoyed carrot.
"Well......Draco has sensitive needs......" said Harry embarrased.
The great hall burst out in laughter once again. Ron looked Horrified at the thought of Harry and Draco shagging.
"Harry you fucker!! I'm the only one that can fuck Draccykins!" yelled Ron.
"Shut the fuck up Ron, I only fucked a picture of him you fucker!" Harry yelled back.
Draco, very angry, walks over to the Gryffindor table.
"You fuckers, I didn't fuck either of you, Me Crabbe and Goyle fucked." said an annoyed Draco.
The Great Hall is beginning to get very scared at this point. People are running madly out to hide under their beds....or to use the bathroom.......or to masturbate.........but it's not important anyway.
"Malfoy!!!! It was ME and Crabbe and Goyle that you fucked!!! You Fucker!!! you can't even remember who you fucked!" said Hermione, who was very angry.
"Sorry, I fucked Pansy that night aswell. I had 30 whole Orgasms!" said Draco, pleased with himself.
Everyone jumped on Draco, meaning to kill him, but after they got his shirt off they all decided to fuck.(....What a sad world we live in eh folks?)
A lot of moaning and Coming and Fucking and stuff and then everyone gets back up as if nothing as hpapened.
"So about the fucking mental carrots..." said Draco, still combing his hair.
"What about the fucking mental carrots?" asked Hermione, putting her shirt back on.
"Should we fucking eat them or just fuck them senseless?" asked Draco.
"What the fuck Draco, we're not gonna fuck Carrots you fucker." Harry said, and rolled his eyes.
The people that were left in the Great Hall quickly left. Horror. Puuure Horror.
Neville gets off the table. "Ohhhh, we're NOT fucking the fucking carrots.......OK."
"Fucking moronic fucking idiot you are Neville" said Ron.
"Fuck off, I saw you fucking that Saxophone." yelled Neville.
"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNOW I DID THAT?" yelled Ron.
Everyone in the school has now jumped in the lake......*Coughs from the readers.....*
"I think we should kill the mother fucker carrots." said Hermione.
"I fucking agree. They should fucking die." said Draco.
So everyone jumps on the table and kills the carrots. Which is followed by another round of group sex. orgasms for everyone!.
So that was.....something from the bottom of my sick twisted mind. I hoped "some" of you liked it. Please Review!!!!!!! Please?
Ok, so this fan fic.....is.........just weird.
Review Review Review! It's my first fan fic aswell.
Eat Your Vegetables
Harry was in the Great Hall one evening, and he had carrots for dinner.
"Fucking Hell, I hate carrots"
"I fucking well agree with you 'Arry," said Ron, Harry's best friend.
"Honestly you two, I think you should really eat them. They're brain food," said Hermione, Harry's other best friend
"Fucking God Hermione, is that all you think about?" asked Ron.
Harry looked down and thought he saw a carrot move from his plate
"AHHHHHHHH!! BLOODY FUCK!" yelled Harry in surprise.
"What the fuck is it?????" asked Ron.
"My fucking carrot moved!!" yelled Harry.
"What the fuck Harry, carrots don't move.....are you fucking insane???" said Ron.
"Mine fucking do." said Harry.
Ron walks over to Dumbledore. He taps his shoulder.
"Dumbledore! Harry's carrots are fucking possesed!" yelled Ron
"Dear fucking god! I thought my viagra was the only thing possesed!" said Dumbledore
Everyone in the Great Hall turn to Dumbledore and all the guys start laughing.
"What the fuck are you all laughing at? Gotta bring my best game!" said Dumbledore
Ron shakes his head and goes back over to the Gryffindor Table.
"Fuck, he was no help, talking bout his Viagra talking while he's shagging Mcgonagall."
"Don't too fucking loud, the fucking retards will hear us." whispered a carrot.
"Fucking Bitch, I was gonna shag that Cabbage!" said another carrot to a Tomatoe.
"Fuck you. I paid more." said the Tomatoe
Harry looks down, and sees them all talking.
"You fuckers, stop talking, you......can't........."
"Shut the fuck up Harry, you use Her Pleasure Trojan Condoms when you fuck Draco. " said a very annoyed carrot.
"Well......Draco has sensitive needs......" said Harry embarrased.
The great hall burst out in laughter once again. Ron looked Horrified at the thought of Harry and Draco shagging.
"Harry you fucker!! I'm the only one that can fuck Draccykins!" yelled Ron.
"Shut the fuck up Ron, I only fucked a picture of him you fucker!" Harry yelled back.
Draco, very angry, walks over to the Gryffindor table.
"You fuckers, I didn't fuck either of you, Me Crabbe and Goyle fucked." said an annoyed Draco.
The Great Hall is beginning to get very scared at this point. People are running madly out to hide under their beds....or to use the bathroom.......or to masturbate.........but it's not important anyway.
"Malfoy!!!! It was ME and Crabbe and Goyle that you fucked!!! You Fucker!!! you can't even remember who you fucked!" said Hermione, who was very angry.
"Sorry, I fucked Pansy that night aswell. I had 30 whole Orgasms!" said Draco, pleased with himself.
Everyone jumped on Draco, meaning to kill him, but after they got his shirt off they all decided to fuck.(....What a sad world we live in eh folks?)
A lot of moaning and Coming and Fucking and stuff and then everyone gets back up as if nothing as hpapened.
"So about the fucking mental carrots..." said Draco, still combing his hair.
"What about the fucking mental carrots?" asked Hermione, putting her shirt back on.
"Should we fucking eat them or just fuck them senseless?" asked Draco.
"What the fuck Draco, we're not gonna fuck Carrots you fucker." Harry said, and rolled his eyes.
The people that were left in the Great Hall quickly left. Horror. Puuure Horror.
Neville gets off the table. "Ohhhh, we're NOT fucking the fucking carrots.......OK."
"Fucking moronic fucking idiot you are Neville" said Ron.
"Fuck off, I saw you fucking that Saxophone." yelled Neville.
"HOW THE FUCK DID YOU KNOW I DID THAT?" yelled Ron.
Everyone in the school has now jumped in the lake......*Coughs from the readers.....*
"I think we should kill the mother fucker carrots." said Hermione.
"I fucking agree. They should fucking die." said Draco.
So everyone jumps on the table and kills the carrots. Which is followed by another round of group sex. orgasms for everyone!.
So that was.....something from the bottom of my sick twisted mind. I hoped "some" of you liked it. Please Review!!!!!!! Please?