Summary: It's not something I can be… It's not okay, not for me!
A/N: This is what happens when lightning strikes while looking up words during 4th period. Lol.
Peter sighed as he fell back onto his bed, watching Jason grab his coat and head off to another cultish social gathering. Another scene in the perpetual Act I. Another beautifully acted, well-constructed scene where our lead never fumbles with his lines and the ensemble always falls, perfectly, into place. Never questioning, never thinking twice about the lead's ability in his role.
But when do I become the other lead? When do I step up to resolve the conflict? When will I be the knight in shining armor? He hit his head on the headrest, hard. Shit, I need a knight in shining armor.
Peter groaned as he sat up again, rubbing his head. He looked around the room, trying to figure out what he should be doing until Jason came back. Bible Study homework… Pysch essay… Trig report… Oh, screw it all… Peter lay back down, watching his head this time, and rolled over, thinking about him.
What are we? Are we boyfriends? Are we dating? Does that make us… g… ga… homosexual? Peter's thoughts trailed off as he saw Jason's dictionary lying on the floor. He paused for a moment, then leaned over to pick it up and put it on his stomach, sitting up again. He opened the book and flipped the pages a bit before he finally found the word:
ho-mo-sex-u-al ho-mə-s-k-uəl
1. of, pertaining to, or exhibiting homosexuality.
2. of, pertaining to, or noting the same sex.
3. a homosexual person.
See also GAY
Mmmhmmm… Helpful, that was. He sighed and turned the page to the next logical word in this quest.
gay gey
1. having or showing a merry, lively mood: gay spirits; gay music.
2. bright or showy: gay colors; gay ornaments.
3. given to or abounding in social or other pleasures: a gay social season.
4. given to or abounding in social or other pleasures: a gay social season.
5. HOMOSEXUAL
6. of, indicating, or supporting homosexual interests or issues: a gay organization.
7. a homosexual person, esp. a male.
8. in a gay manner.
He groaned again, not finding any help or comfort in any of those definitions. He flipped forward just a few pages to what he was sure would be the last word.
ho-mo-sex-u-al-i-ty ho-mə-s-k-u-æl-ti
1. sexual desire or behavior directed toward a person or persons of one's own sex.
Well, I guess that's us… Or, at least, that's me…He threw Webster's off of the bed and curled into a fetal position. He lightly began to sob, mopping up his tears with his knees.
I'm… I'm… gay…