A/N: Yay I've finally got the dam thing sorted –grins- well The weakest link has now been reproduced upon the site and I can breathe easily again Enjoy Peeps!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter/ the weakest link otherwise I'd be rich, which I ain't got it!!

THE WEAKEST LINK:

HARRY POTTER EDITION

Everyone was bored, just an average day in Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry....... or was it? In a 'PUFF' of smoke Harry, Ron and Hermione disappear from the Gryffindor common room. In the staff room Professors McGonagall and Snape were grading papers, in-between shooting dirty looks at one another and 'POOF' there gone too. Somewhere in London Moony and Padfoot are sitting, relaxing and 'PUFF' are gone just like that. Draco Malfoy is pacing the Slytherin common room when in yet another 'POOF' of smoke is gone. And finally Voldemort (who will hereby be known as Voldie from now on, cause it's funny) is plotting some evil mischief, in a dark cave in Albania and suddenly 'PUFF' has vanished into thin air. Our rather unfortunate victims... ER HEROES, yes heroes find themselves in a muggle T.V studio. Currently only Harry, Ron and Hermione have arrived.

HERMIONE: UH-OH!

HARRY: Wha- OH!... UH-OH!

RON: UH-OH? What's the UH-OH for?

HERMIONE: Do you really want to know!?

RON: ER ...... maybe not

(Out of the air the rest of our victims/heroes fall)

MINERVA: What the HELL is going on here!!!

SNAPE: Minerva can you please get off me, your squashing me!

MINERVA: EWWWWWWWWW............ I landed on Severus!!!!!!!

ALL: EEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! MENTAL IMAGE!!!!!!!!

RON: (notices Voldie for first time) IT'S... IT'S.. AAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

VOLDIE: All tremble before the Dark Lord... BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

MINERVA: Oh shut up Voldie!!!

(Receives odd stares)

MINERVA: WHAT!! Oh come on you know this is bound to be one of those badfic things, the author isn't going to let that creep hurt us!!!

ALL: -Nod-

REMUS: You know, I agree with Minerva.

VOLDIE: Like I care (Takes out wand, points it at Harry) AVADA KED...... Hey what the hells going on here! My wands gone!!!!!!!!

MV: Voldie, did you honestly think i'd let you kill one of my contestants. I DON'T THINK SO!!

REMUS: See told you Minerva was right.

SIRIUS: Contestants????

MV: Ah, Padfoot straight to the point

SIRIUS: How does she know my nickname?

MINERVA: Shes an author, she knows more about us then we'd like.

ALL: -Shudder-

MV: Too true. Well down to the point, You people have been specially chosen to appear on a once in a lifetime edition of THE WEAKEST LINK!!!!

HARRY & HERMIONE: OH NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

MV: OH YES!!!!

RON: Care to explain guys?

HARRY: Well it's a muggle game show

SIRIUS: Gameshow?????

HERMIONE: People go on them to try and win things, you know money, holidays and end up getting totally humiliated

VOLDIE: Oh! I like the sound of this!

MV: You won't when your in one HE-HE!!!

REMUS: Anywho, what about the weakest link?

HARRY: Well it's the worst for humiliating people. It's got this evil Bh presenter, who makes everyone look like

an idiot. She's EVIL!!

HERMIONE: Yeah she's a DEMON!!

MV: Yep, your right there Harry, and since we have our contestants, we really need our host. (Boxing announcer style) Presenting my fellow Liverpudllian and compatriot in crime Miss Anne Rob-in-son!!!!!!

HARRY & HERMIONE: AAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(A/N: A little enthusiastic there soz)

HERMIONE: The horror!!!!!!! The horror!!!!!!

SNAPE: Shut up Granger! 10 Points from Gryffindor for repetition.

MV: HEY!! No taking house points, only me and Anne can be mean to you guys.

ANNE: Too True!! (Glares at Snape) Any Problems!!

SNAPE: (Cowering) No Mam.

ANNE: GOOD!!!!!

MINERVA: (Slightly peeved) HEY!! Only I'M allowed to antagonise Severus!!

ANNE: You OBVIOUSLY have never met me!!

MV: (Worried) Hey Peeps chill!! Minerva usually you are the only allowed, but if you and Anne work together it will be soooo much more entertaining for everyone except Snape, Voldie and possibly Draco...... Nah just Snape and Voldie!!!!

SNAPE & VOLDIE: HEY!! NO FAIR!!!!

VOLDIE:(Severly P.O) MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT V-O-L-D-E-M-O-R-T, NOT VOLDIE!

MINERVA & ANNE: Hey MV, you got a point there! Shut Up VOLDIE

VOLDIE: GAAAAGGHHH!!!!

HARRY: (To Ron, Hermione, Sirius & Lupin) You know I'm starting to get just a wee bit scared

ALL: -Nod-

REMUS: Who for? Us or Voldemort

HARRY: Us mainly, but anyone having BOTH Anne Robinson and McGonagall on their back is in real trouble

HERMIONE: UH-HUH!

SIRIUS: She can't be that bad, can she? I mean she's only a muggle.

ANNE: What was that BLACK!!!!!!!

SIRIUS: (Cowering) Nothing Mam (Whispers) Geez she's scary!!!

ALL: -Nod-

MV: Hey peeps, before we go on stage, I have a few rules to enforce he-he!

1) No taking house points! were not in Hogwarts so it doesn't count. That means YOU Snape!!

SNAPE: DAMN!!!

MV: 2) No transfiguring contestants or death attempts unless I say!!

MINERVA & VOLDIE: DAMN!!!!!

MV: 3) No slagging people off during filming, unless I allow it!!

SIRIUS & DRACO: DAMN!!!!

MV: Finally 4) Any curses, hexes etc. will not be tolerated and WILL result in your wands being taken away or something much worse, as will any of the rules being broken CAPICE!!!

ALL: DOUBLE DAMN!!!!!

MV: Let's get this show on the road!!

ALL: Do we have too!!

MV: Yes you do!!! now, places people!!!!

(Everyone rather grudgingly goes to their podium)

MV: Okay, LIGHTS, CAMERA, ACTION!!!!!!

(Weakest Link theme music comes on)

ANNE: Welcome to the Weakest Link, each of the contestants today has been brought to the studio for no particular reason other than to be tormented and generally tortured by me and the Mysterious Voice.

MV: WOO go us!!!

ANNE: Quite so!

ALL: -Groan-

ANNE: Okay lets play the Weakest Link!

MV: Okay people time to introduce yourselves, read the cue cards please.

REMUS: Cue cards??

MV: Just read them!!

ALL: ULP!! Okay.

(camera pans to McGonagall)

MINERVA: Hi I'm Minerva, I'm not telling you my age! I teach the art of transfiguration at Hogwarts and am head of Gryffindor house.

MV: Yay go Minnie your No 1!!!

MINERVA: -Blushes-

SNAPE: OH GREAT!!! A Minerva lover!!

MV: Oh shut up Snape!!!

(Snape gets electric shock)

SNAPE: HEY NO FAIR!!!!!! Who do you think you are Pikachu or something!!!!

(Gets shocked again)

VOLDIE: (Sing song) HA HA!! Snape got shocked!! Snape got shocked!!

MV: SHUT UP VOLDIE!!

(Gets shocked also)

ALL BAR VOLDIE & SNAPE: -Snigger- Way to go MV!!!!!

MV: Thank you! But anyway back to the show!

ANNE: NEXT!!

(Camera pans to Remus)

REMUS: ER... Hi I'm Remus, I'm 35 years old. I'm the resident werewolf and one time DADA Professor at Hogwarts.

(A/N: Defence Against Dark Arts)

ANNE: Next please!!

(Camera falls on Sirius)

SIRIUS: Hey! I'm Sirius, I'm also 35. Currently I'm on the run for a crime I didn't commit and I'm Harry's godfather.

ANNE: Who's next!!

(Camera goes to Harry)

HARRY: Hi, I'm Harry, I'm 15 years old and I'm a student at Hogwarts. I play Seeker on the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

ANNE: Nice to see you, Next!!

(Camera pans to Hermione)

HERMIONE: Hi I'm Hermione, I'm also 15 and a Gryffindor and the only one with any damn sense around here except Minerva!

ANNE: R-ight NEXT!!

(Camera falls on Ron)

RON: Hey! I'm Ron, I'm 15 and I'm the sixth Weasley in the current line to go to Hogwarts, I am also a Gryffindor.

ANNE: 'Kay...... Oh Great! Here come the gits!

DRACO, SNAPE & VOLDIE: HEY!!!!!!

MV: Aw shut up!!!!

(Camera falls on Draco)

DRACO: Hello there, I'm Draco, I'm 15 and a fifth year Slytherin. I'm filthy rich and seriously lack any real personality...... Hey!!!! how come I get slagged off.

MV: Because your a Slytherin, be grateful I didn't put anything worse down.

VOLDIE & SNAPE: UH-OH!!

ANNE: NEXT!

(Camera on Snape)

SNAPE: I refuse to read that!!!

MV: Read it. OR ELSE!!!

SNAPE: NA-AH, No way!!!

MV:(starting to get annoyed) Snape, I'm warning you!!!!!

SNAPE: Warn me all you want, I'm not doing it!!!!

MV: FINE!!! Have it your way!!!

(Snape gets shocked again)

SNAPE: Okay, OKAY!!! I'll read the damn card!!!!!

MV: GOOD!!

SIRIUS: Gotta admire her methods

ALL BAR SNAPE: -Nod-

(Camera back on Snape)

SNAPE: Humph!!! (V. unenthusiastically) Hello, my name is Severus Snape, I'm the potions master at Hogwarts, I seriously lack any personal hygiene and generally I'm the most unpleasant person on the planet.

ALL: -Burst out laughing- THAT IS SOOOO TRUE!!!!!!

SNAPE: THERE I SAID IT WILL YOU STOP BLOODY SHOCKING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

MV: Sure! Just stop screwing around.

ANNE: Finally!

VOLDIE: I'm Lord Voldemort, not Voldie, all shall fear me BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

(Gets shocked)

MV: Just stick to the card VOLDIE! or I'll make it sooo bad for you!!

VOLDIE: GRRRR... fine. I'm a lot older than you are MV..

MV: Don't I know it!

VOLDIE: .. And I'm most well known for being defeated by him (Jabs thumb at Harry, who grins)....................... You

just had to bring that up didn't you!!

MV: YEP!!!!!

HARRY: (To Ron, Hermione, Sirius and Lupin) You know I'm really starting to like MV, we might just survive this.

ALL MENTIONED ABOVE: -Nod vindictively-

ANNE: Right on with the show

ALL: -GROAN-