This is a one shot I wrote years ago, with Forever The Sickest Kids members as the characters. I revamped it a bit, replacing FTSK with BTR. I added a page or two, and edited some of the facts and parts I had awkwardly written. I probably overlooked some things, so if there are things out of place, just let me know. I'd really appreciate it if you reviewed with your thoughts on this! (: Thanks for reading!
"This is not what I intended… I always swore to you I'd never fall apart. You always thought that I was stronger. I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start. But hold your breath, because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you, over again. Don't make me change my mind, or I won't live to see another day, I swear it's true, because a girl like you is impossible to find. You're impossible to find." – Fall For You (Secondhand Serenade)
Fall For You
"So what happened with you guys? You seemed so perfect..." Riley asked me as we sat down in a secluded area of the party being thrown at my best friend, Carlos' house. It was my first day back in sunny California after ten months, and he just so happened to be throwing this party tonight.
Kendall nuzzled his nose against my ear, holding me close. "I love you," he whispered sweetly.
I pushed my arms under his hoodie as we braced the cold California winter air, admiring the beauty of our favorite park around us. Winters in California were the best; not too cold, but cold enough to have a reason to cuddle. I picked my head up and looked at him, smiling at how cute he looked in his beanie. "I love you too." He grinned sheepishly and leaned his forehead against mine, the sides of our noses sliding against each other. His bright green eyes so big, yet so amazing right in front of mine. "You will always be mine Kaydence Renae; always, and forever."
"Promise?" I asked him.
He kissed me softly. "I promise.""It just…wasn't working…" I replied, looking down, fiddling with the hem of my shorts.
"Are you kidding me? Kaydence, you left town, didn't tell anyone where you were going, and didn't come back for almost a year. There's something more than just it wasn't working." Riley demanded. I sighed. "After almost a year Kay, Kendall still won't speak anything of it. He's been so different this whole time, so…lifeless. I don't know what they're going to do when they start touring-"
"Alright! I get it, okay? I just…ugh!" I buried my face in my hands, realizing that I was starting to make a scene. I looked up and a few people were staring at me. Then I peered past them to see the front door opening, and the person I missed terribly walk through. Almost as if on instinct, he looked in my direction, and when he saw me, his eyes widened and he stopped in his tracks. Our gazes locked as neither one of us knew how to react, and it seemed like the whole world grew quiet, just waiting to see what we would do. He wasn't supposed to be at this party; Carlos had promised. I wasn't ready to see him yet.
"Why do you always come pick me up before I have time to get dressed?" I asked, pulling him by his arm closer to my side, referring to my tank top and shorts that I had been sleeping in. "You didn't even let me put shoes on."
He smiled and stopped, pulling me to a stop as well. "I'm sorry," he chuckled. "Hop on." He squatted forward and I jumped on his back, hugging his neck before loosening up and letting him walk. "I just want to show you off to the world as yourself," he said simply. "You're the most beautiful and amazing person I've ever known. You don't need cute clothes and makeup. You're perfect without it." He carried me into the park. "Let me down..." I murmured. He stopped and put me on the ground and faced me, staring at me questioningly. I smiled and shook my head, standing on my tip-toes and pressing my lips to his thankfully. He placed one hand on my back and pulled me close, while the fingers on his other hand gently tangled in my hair. I leaned into him, putting more pressure in the kiss, and placed my hands on his chest. "PDA! OH MY GOD GET A ROOM!" My idiot of a brother, Logan, yelled from down the street. Just to piss him off, we held our kiss much longer than we had intended to, and he kept on yelling. "KAYDENCE! KENDALL! STOP IT! RIGHT NOW! OH MY GOD MY LITTLE SISTER!" We couldn't help it then, we stopped and busted out laughing. I wrapped my arms around his neck and laid my forehead on Kendall's chest, laughing. "THANK YOU!" Logan yelled and went back in the house. "He's so stupid, I swear." I stated, shaking my head.
Kendall laughed, "He is a bit of a spaz, isn't he?"
I laughed too, "That's definitely true, but so are we, so we can't say anything."
"I guess you're right." he smiled at me. "Well, let's be on our way before we get busted by Logan for just standing here," he joked, pulling away and beckoning for me to jump on his back again. We got to the park and there were more people there than normal. Kendall started walking out into the middle of the park. "Kendall? Why aren't we going to our normal spot?" I asked, resting my chin on his shoulder.
"You'll see," he responded with a smirk. He kept walking until he was almost exactly in the middle. A couple of people were watching us curiously, but I was on the same page as them, wondering what the hell he was about to do. "Hold on tight," he said, smiling when he stopped walking.
"What- Oh my gosh! Kendall!"
He started spinning me around, causing the biggest scene, purposely. "Guess what!" he yelled for everyone to hear. "I LOVE THIS GIRL RIGHT HERE! I LOVE YOU KAYDENCE RENAE HENDERSON! I WANT TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE WITH YOU!" he stopped and set me down, facing me, out of breath and smiling. "I love you." he said again. "I told you I wanted to show you off to the world, or err…well, the neighborhood park."
I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him. "You are the best boyfriend a girl could ever ask for. Ever. I love you too." I whispered in his ear. He kissed my cheek, putting pressure on it and hugging me tighter. A few 'aww's' erupted from some of the elderly people around us. We smiled and he kissed my forehead. "You're the best." I mumbled, digging my face in his chest.
We were barely seventeen years old, but we really did love each other with our all. That night we snuck out late, going back to the park, to our favorite spot near the pond, and made love for the first time, exploring a whole new world of being together.
The room literally did grow dead quiet. Everyone wanted to see what would happen. Kendall broke our eye contact and glanced around at everyone. "Uhh…" he bit his lip in frustration and looked down. Then he turned and stalked off into the kitchen. Everyone just looked to me then. I felt the heat rush to my face as it turned, probably, bright red. Carlos gave me a look that said, God Kay and shook his head, going after Kendall.
"KAYDENCE GET YOUR SORRY BUTT DOWN HERE! YOUR LOVER IS HERE TO TAKE YOU TO THE ZOO!" Logan yelled up the stairs at me. I wouldn't have questioned my brother's sanity… if Kendall and I were actually going to the zoo. "What the hell?" I giggled to myself, shaking my head. I checked my hair and makeup in the mirror, wiping a little excess eyeliner away. I ran down the stairs and was met by Kendall at the bottom. "OHHHHHH! AREN'T YOU JUST LOOKING SNAZZY TONIGHT KAY!" Logan yelled.
"Logan. Is it even possible for you to talk at a normal level?" I asked, laughing.
"NO!" he replied, smiling widely.
"You do look good though Kay; beautiful, as usual." Kendall smiled as I stepped down in front of him.
"You're so sweet." I stated, caressing his face with one hand. He continued smiling and leaned down to kiss me.
"OH MY GOD STOP!" Logan screamed. Kendall laughed softly into the kiss and slid his hands into the back pockets of my skinny jeans, pulling me tight against him, and our kiss deepened; we did all of this just to mess with Logan; it was always a good time. "AHHH! MY VIRGIN EYES CANT TAKE IT!" he fell to the ground on his knees, practically clawing his eyes out.
"Right. Virgin." I rolled my eyes to enforce my sarcasm and my brother glared at me. After that little laugh-fest, Kendall took me out. It was an amazing summer night, so we picked up food somewhere and ate at our park. We named it our park, because, well, it really was. Everything had happened there for us. It was where we met, where he asked me out, where we shared our first kiss, the first place we made love; we spent a lot of time there because of it. We went almost every day.
I could tell Kendall had something special planned, because he was acting different. But it was a really good different. He was extremely talkative and loveable. Wanting a few more kisses than normal, and always touching me somehow; holding my hand, or touching my face when we kissed. He just wanted to be close, and I was perfectly fine with that. After a while, he started getting a little antsy, and finally just came out with whatever he wanted to say.
"Kaydence, I want to ask you something. Really, really important." he said, facing me.
"Okay, go ahead." I nodded.
"I love you so much. More than I thought I could ever love anyone." he took both of my hands in his. "I want you to always be mine."
"I am, I will." I stated.
"No, really." I was getting confused. "Kay, I know we're only 18, but I've never been so sure of something in my life, and I know you feel the same way." He released one of my hands and started digging in his hoodie pocket for something. He finally pulled it out and kept his hand clasped around it.
He opened his hand and revealed a breathtakingly beautiful, antique-looking diamond ring. "Kaydence Renae Henderson… will you marry me?"
When I looked to my future, I never saw anything but me being with Kendall. I saw us having a home together. Cooking each other dinner. Having whole nights to ourselves to do what we wanted, to love. Me taking care of the house and missing him dearly when he and the guys were making it big and touring.
He really was my life, and this just seemed perfect. I didn't see any cons to it as tears of joy filled my eyes. He grinned at me and scooted closer. "Yes Kendall. I will!" I exclaimed. He pulled me onto his lap, immediately planting an exhilarating kiss to my lips.
Everyone just continued staring at me. "Oh my god, take a picture, it'll last longer." I stood up and walked towards the kitchen, but stopped when I heard Kendall and Carlos talking. I pressed my ear to the door, even though it wasn't really needed; Kendall was talking loud enough for me to just stand there, which was unusual for him.
"I thought you said she wasn't gonna be here?" he demanded of Carlos.
"Kendall, you two need to talk. I don't know what happened, since neither one of you would tell anyone, but I do know that you need to talk." Carlos stated firmly.
"It's not that simple, okay? She left me. I can't just go talk to her after that!" Tears filled my eyes when I heard the obvious hurt in his voice.
"You have to, dude. It's the only way you can fix things!" Carlos sounded frustrated. "Kendall, after three years, you two had never gotten into an argument as a couple, then one day, it's over? Kendall, what happened?" Carlos asked.
"I don't wanna talk about it." Kendall said stiffly. I realized what he was doing; he was actually keeping our promise, that we wouldn't tell anyone about the engagement until it was a good time, until we were both ready. He was still keeping that promise even though we weren't together. I've still never met a boy as amazing as him, and man did I miss him to death.
I sunk down with my back against the door, tears flowing frequently down my worthless face. And for some reason I felt myself become dizzy. I sat still, waiting for it to go away, but it just got worse. I brought my hand to my head, putting pressure on it to try and kill the oncoming migraine. My tears fell faster as I tried to figure out was wrong with me. I sunk down further, and eventually turned on my side and curled up by that kitchen door, waiting for something to happen; for someone to save me.
Then, I blacked out.
"No, I'm still not ready." I stated for the millionth time.
He frowned, "But it's your birthday! Our three year anniversary! Wouldn't it be the perfect time to tell everyone that we're engaged?" Kendall asked desperately.
"I just…I don't know, I'm not ready yet.." I said softly.
"Are you ever going to be ready?" he asked, sounding incredibly hurt. That question hit me like a thousand bricks at once.
We ended up arguing for the next hour, our first argument after three years of dating, the argument that ended our relationship.
Turns out I wasn't ready to be married after all.
"Kaydence. Kaydence. Kay. Wake up." I could hear Carlos urgently speaking to me, distantly, like I was underwater or something, but I couldn't respond; I didn't have the energy to. "Shit," he whispered. He gently picked me up and carried me into the kitchen. "What's wrong with her?" I heard Kendall ask worriedly, walking up to us.
"I wouldn't know now, would I?" Carlos answered rather coldly and laid me down on the freezing counter top. The cold coming in contact with my skin stirred me a little. "Kendall-…." I slurred, falling back into unconsciousness. Kendall froze. Carlos hurried and closed the kitchen door so that no one would come in. "Are you gonna help me?" He asked Kendall as he ran to the freezer with a rag to get ice.
"I-…uhh…well….oh…kay…" Kendall stuttered. He slowly walked over to where I was lying, trying to hurry up and make up his mind about what he was going to do. He placed his hand on my face. It was cold; he was nervous. His hands always got cold when he was nervous. He started stroking my cheek with his thumb.
I kept slipping in and out of consciousness. My eyes fluttered open for a second, and I saw him, his face just a foot away from mine, but I was slipping again. "Kendall….?" I murmured.
"Shh. I-I'm here…" he looked like he wanted to cry. "Carlos hurry." he said, looking back over his shoulder. "Carlos is getting you some ice…" he said softly, moving hair off of my face.
I shook my head slowly, "Please….just hold me…" and I was gone again.
He stood up straight, uncertainly, his hand still gently resting on my face. Then, he slid his arms under me and picked me up, bridal style. "What are you doing?" Carlos asked. Kendall just slid, with his back against the counter, down into a sitting position, cradling me in his arms and holding me close. He squeezed his eyes shut and rested his cheek on the top of my head, rocking back and forth.
Carlos looked down at him sympathetically, squatting in front of us and gently handing the icepack to Kendall. "Hold it on her forehead. As soon as she wakes up we need to give her water and something to eat. I think she's just dehydrated. After all, she was out with y'alls horses all day."
"What?" Kendall asked, looking up and opening his eyes. Carlos, Kendall, and I had all invested in horses as sort of a weird habit once we moved out on our own, and kept them in the same stables. We would go out together when we wanted to get away and ride the nearby trails.
Carlos nodded. "She went riding earlier." he said as Kendall placed the ice to my forehead. "Which horse?" he asked.
"Sadie." Carlos answered. "I went with her to the stables. It was like she had never been gone. Sadie happily saddled up for her."
"That's crazy…" Kendall murmured. Carlos looked at him questioningly. "As soon as Kaydence left, Sadie stopped cooperating. She would never saddle up for me or anything. And I was just thinking earlier about how weird it was, because she saddled up for me today..." He looked down at me. "I should've known…" He half-smiled thoughtfully.
"You were there today?" Carlos asked. He nodded. "What time?"
"Four," Kendall answered.
Carlos laughed slightly. "Kay left at 3:30." Kendall just shook his head and rested his cheek on my head again.
I stirred again. "What's going on...?" I asked groggily. "Who's-?" I looked up to see who was holding me, and saw the love of my life. "Kendall?"
He smiled softly down at me. "Hey," he whispered.
"I wasn't dreaming?" I asked. He just looked at me. "I didn't think-..…oh god, I've missed you…I'm so, so sorry Kendall." Tears immediately started falling as I hugged him tight, digging my face in his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me closer, and placed his face on my hair. We sat like that for the longest time, and eventually I felt his own tears start to soak the side of my face and hair. That only made me sob harder into his chest, clinging to his shirt.
"Kay, you need to drink something…" It was obvious by Carlos' soft tone that he felt awkward interrupting our tear-fest, but he still sounded urgent.
"Right." Kendall pulled his face away from mine, freeing one of his hands that was clenching my shirt to wipe his wet face, and shook his head. "You need water." He cleared his throat, trying to get rid of his raspy voice, the evidence of his sobbing.
I picked my face up from his chest and was glad he'd decided to wear a black t-shirt, because I had nearly cried a river onto it. I sniffled, quietly taking the bottle of water Carlos was offering me. "Small sips," he murmured, giving me a small smile. I obliged and started getting the fluid in my system.
All three of us remained silent for what seemed like an eternity. Carlos was now sitting across from Kendall and me against the other cabinets, Kendall seemed like he was concentrating on something as he stared at the side of my head where he was running his fingers gently through my tear-damp hair, and I was just staring blankly ahead of me as I continued to rehydrate myself, relishing in the feeling of Kendall's touch. I'd gone so many months without it.
More minutes passed, and I was feeling a bit better, but I didn't want to remove myself from Kendall. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I was struggling for the right words to say, wishing he could just read my mind. I never meant to hurt you. I didn't plan to stay gone for so long. I still love you more than anyone else in this world. I'm willing to get on my knees and grovel for your forgiveness. But I couldn't push the words past my lips.
Suddenly, Kendall spoke up, whispering as if for only me to hear. "I never should've rushed you like that." I slowly brought the water bottle in my hand to my lap, not believing he was apologizing. He didn't need to. "You weren't ready, and I just couldn't process that.I'm the one who should be sorry." He continued running his fingers through my hair, still focusing on that like it was what was keeping him steady.
I shook my head, furrowing my eyebrows in slight frustration. "No," I said. "I shouldn't have left you. We could've worked around it. We could've figured something out. Instead of spending all of this time apart. I just…I freaked out." I lightly wiped away a tear straggling down his cheek. "I-I didn't plan to stay away like I did… I wanted, want, to be with you, to spend my life with you, but…when I think marriage, I think kids. And kids just weren't something I could wrap my mind around at this point in my life. I mean, we're barely twenty now…" Tears spilled over the brims of my eyes again in shame.
"You should've just told me that..." He wiped away my tears now. "Kids weren't exactly on my list of things to do either. Not this early, not as a teenager. Kids don't have to be a part of it right now Kay. We're still young."
I paused in confusion. Now he was talking about it like I had been; like we were still together. Trying not to dwell on it, I continued, "I know. But what scared me was…what if it had happened on accident? Then we'd be stuck with a child this young. There's no way in anyone's right mind that I would get an abortion." I shook my head. "And you would hate me for even considering it, anyways."
"I could never hate you," he whispered anxiously. He reached behind him and grabbed another bottle of water, seeing my now empty one, and handed it to me. I opened it and drank some, knowing he didn't want me possibly passing out on him again. "Adoption, Kay." he stated.
"I wouldn't have the heart to give it up for adoption. And you know that." I said softly as he laced his fingers through my free hand. My heart leaped with hope, and he squeezed my fingers in reassurance.
He leaned his forehead against my temple. "We would've worked something out. We always do." he smiled his beautiful crooked smile. "I love you Kaydence Renae. I always will." he whispered. "Please have me back."
I carefully set my drink on the floor, processing what was happening, and turned to gaze into his incredible green eyes. "I love you too. And- and I wouldn't miss this chance for the world." His soft lips landed on mine for the first time in almost a year. And I was in heaven. The feeling of his mouth against mine was a feeling I had always lived for, and didn't know how I'd lasted the last ten months without.
We were suddenly aware that Carlos was still in the room. We pulled away and looked at him, and his jaw was dropped. "Marriage? You were engaged?" he asked, completely shocked.
Kendall nodded and I said, "For three months."
"So…does getting back together mean you're engaged again?" Carlos asked, now becoming curious.
I looked up at Kendall and bit my lip. "That's up to Kay." he stated, holding my eye contact intensely, smiling ever so slightly.
There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted this man back. This man that I had grown up with, that had been my first everything. The last ten months of my life had been a ridiculous mistake, yet he was still willing to take me back, and not just as his girlfriend, but as his fiancé again. "I would be honored," I murmured, leaning into him, still gazing up into his face.
He smiled broadly and started digging in his jeans pocket. After a moment, he pulled out my ring. "I didn't go a day without carrying it with me," he said, finding my left hand. He paused before he put the ring on. "Do you want to wear it?" he asked.
I nodded excitedly. "I'm ready now," I said softly. He slowly slid it on and gently grabbed my face with both of his hands, kissing me hard.
"I can't believe this," Carlos said, mostly to himself since we weren't really paying attention. "Engaged. You were engaged. All that time. Now you're back together and engaged on the same day!"
Kendall smiled into our kiss, both of us ignoring Carlos's rambling. We were just happy to be back in each other's arms, and I knew that our love would be stronger than ever.