A/N: So… Silly story got a surprisingly nice welcome. So here are few short (less than 1k words even if it kills me!) side stories to go along with it. I may even do part 3 for the main story if I feel like it but that's not currently in the works so we'll see.

Warnings: bad spelling/grammar, OOC, AU

Characters: Alex

Word count: 942

Disclaimer: don't own

- Pretty Woman -

(or 'I'll make you one even if it kills you')

"And what, exactly, do you expect me to do with this… this boy?"

Alex was standing awkwardly to the side wishing he was somewhere else. When he'd first heard about the mission he'd thought Blunt was joking until he realized that for Blunt, a joke was only a four lettered word.

"We need you to disguise him," Mrs Jones said patiently.

Alex tuned the women out as he wondered just exactly why he had consented to this. Being a sixteen-year-old superspy was one thing but this wasn't something he'd signed up to do. Didn't they have enough female agents that could do something like this?

'As agreed, we will only call on you if we have no other choice,' Blunt had said without a shred of emotion. 'And you'll have to trust us that this time there is need. You have gone in under an alias before. This is no different.'

"Fine," the woman said voice coloured by obvious distaste, like she was dealing with something she'd rather not touch with a ten foot pole. "I will do what I can but I don't expect it to work. He isn't particularly feminine."

Mrs Jones nodded and then left the room without further words, leaving Alex alone with the scary woman who was eyeing him critically.

"Come here boy," she said.

Sighing in defeat Alex did as was told and let the woman grasp his chin with her carefully manicured nails scraping against his skin. She looked at his face turning it this way and that and then stepped back and gave his body a long assessing look.

"At least you have a rather symmetrical face and your eyes are quite passable. But if this works it is a result of my hard work and talent," she said.

Then she stepped forward again and tugged his hair painfully. "Shorter than I'd like, but it's always better to work with what you have than use a wig. I suppose extensions would work but I'll try something with what you have first."

After that she began her work and Alex felt helpless as he was ordered around and his hair was pulled and gunk was being shoved in his face. It felt like hours later when the woman finally pulled back and gave him yet another critical look.

"I am a genius," she said nodding satisfied. "There's no other explanation for it."

Alex looked at himself in the mirror and wondered exactly how she was genius. His hair had been styled differently and he had make up on but it was still unmistakably Alex Rider looking back at him. Perhaps his features seemed a bit softer than usual but that was about it. But apparently the woman saw that she had managed to make a change somehow and he wasn't about to tell her she was wrong.

"We'll need to get you some clothes and see if you can pull it off. There is no point in trying to disguise your voice too much since it isn't low enough to cause suspicion yet. Best to play up the tomboy act since you'd never pass off as the girly girl type," she continued.

It was difficult biting back the sarcastic response but he managed somehow. It was one thing to mouth off to dangerous people who wouldn't hesitate to kill him (after they'd finished their villainy monologue, of course) but he did not want to see what this woman would do to him if he pissed her off. He had a vague feeling it would include a pair of scissors and the offer to divest him of his masculinity.

So he let the woman play dress up with him. At first he'd been mortified when the woman had told him to strip down but it soon became apparent that she really wasn't interested in looking at his body. Even the scars had gotten only a brief glance and Alex got the feeling she was thinking how she'd manage to hide them.

"It's a good thing it's winter. It will give you a good reason to wear thicker clothes so we can hide your shape better," she said. "I don't have enough time to teach you to walk in heels so you won't be wearing any unless absolutely necessary."

Alex was grateful for that small concession.

xxx

He was astonished how well the disguise worked. The man he'd been sent to get information from had bought the lie without blinking as had the others Alex had to fool. It was only later when he'd found out the downsides to his disguise when the man started to get fresh with him.

It had led to him concocting a lie about a boyfriend which, in turn had led him to walking down wintery Oxford Street one December evening.

He'd been looking for a way to throw off the three men tailing him but hadn't yet managed to do so. He couldn't exactly use his abilities to ditch them when he was supposed to be just a normal sixteen-year-old girl, albeit one with ties to the underworld. Figuring it'd be easier to 'accidentally' lose them in the crowds of shoppers he'd chosen to walk down the busy street lined with shops. Unfortunately for him the men following him were annoyingly persistent and he was hoping that maybe he'd manage to shake them off if he took the tube from the crowded Oxford street station.

And then he'd seen a familiar shape among the crowd and a plan had begun to form in his head. He grinned and started walking faster.

Sometimes he really did have the luck of the devil.

End A/N: So there's a bit about how Alex became Alexandra. Someone asked why Wolf didn't recognize his face but it had been two years since he'd last seen him and you can do amazing things with make up. Plus, like Fox said in part 2 it's not actually normal for people to suspect a girl is a boy in drag unless there's a good reason. At least that's my humble opinion. : D