I sighed heavily and scanned my room. It consisted of a wooden chair that Toby made me, a picture of Toby and I, and Toby's white t shirt on the floor. I know what you're thinking..and no. Toby and I aren't together. I want us to be but we're not. He's really sweet and he helps me get through personal situations. I don't know what I would do without him. You probably want to know how his T shirt got on my floor. Well um, we were watching a movie and the movie got a little heated. We just kissed..that's all.

He left his shirt here on mistake and he never got it back. I don't want him to get it back. I don't see how that make out session didn't define our relationship right then and there. He must have thought that it was just in the heat of the moment. That people have random hook ups all the time. But I didn't see it as a random hook up. I saw it as the best moment ever. I've been crushing on Toby since he kicked my ass in scrabble and just the feel of his lips on mine made my heart flutter.

"Spencer?" A voice said, breaking me out of my thoughts.

I turned my head to see my older sister, Melissa Hastings standing in my door frame. "Huh?"

Melissa and I have been on good terms since her fiancé was found dead in some shed across town. They said he killed himself. I mean, he left a suicide note and everything. His name was Ian Thomas. Before they found Ian, Melissa and I hated each other. We couldn't even stand to be in the same room for one minute without going at it. Most of our arguments were about how one was greater than the other and which IQ was the highest...mine. But anyways, afterwards, she kind of gave up on fighting with me. We barely fight anymore. She's being the nicest person ever which is weird. I guess. She came inside my room and sat next to me on my bed. She took a deep breath and looked me deeply in the eye.

"Have you talked to your friend today?" She asked. I could hint a little of concern in her voice.

"Which one?" I started. "And why? What's going on?"

"Emily..and because I think I saw her, Maya, and Toby arguing earlier. Well at least that's what it looked like. Then I saw Toby raise his hand at Emily. He looked as if he was about to hit her, but he didn't. I don't think he did. Toby walked off and then Maya was trying to explain to Emily something. I don't know what, but Emily wasn't gonna have it. I think she broke up with Maya today."

It took me a while to register everything. Toby wouldn't do such a thing to anyone. Especially Emily. Emily and Maya breaking up. I'll talk to Emily about that later. I stared out of my window still trying to see why Toby..if he even did it would find the need to try to hit Emily. I felt a hand land on my back softly. I pushed it away.

"No, you're lying." I started. "You're lying Melissa. You saw wrong. It was all just an imagination."

"No Spence. It was real. Everything was real. I think you need to talk to Emily. See if she's okay." She suggested.

"You're just making this all up. You know I like Toby so you have to make up a story to.."

"Spencer!" She yelled. "Why would I do that to you? I would never do such a thing to my own sister! I told you this because I thought you would want to know..you would want to be there for your friend."

I shook my head. I refuse to believe this. "Leave. Now."

I thought Melissa and I were over this fighting stage. I guess I thought wrong. I knew it was too good to be true. She looked over at me in disgust and stood up to leave out of the room. I laid back onto my bed and stared up at the ceiling trying to calm myself down. In the process, I became sleepy and soon began to drift off to sleep. I would talk to Emily later.

I slept longer than I thought I would. It must be from all the studying and extra homework. Like I said I was, I grabbed my phone and began to dial Emily's number. I'm going to let her tell me everything so, I am going to be play dumb..like I don't know what's going on.

"Hello?" Emily answered after two rings.

"Hey Emily. What's up?"

"Nothing. Just sitting at home watching a movie with my mom. What about you?"

"Just got through taking a long nap. Do you have any plans today?"

"Nope. Today I just want to lay back."

"Well, can I come over?" I asked. She wasn't budging. She was acting as if nothing happened..well if it did happen.

"Uh.. I kind of just want to be alone today, Spence. I need to get some things off my mind."

Aha. Here we go. Now we get this conversation going. "Like what? Em, you okay?"

"Uh yeah I'm fine. It's just Maya and I had a fight today and we...we um kind of broke up."

I could hear her fiddling around with something through the phone. It sounded like boxes. Maybe some old stuff that Maya gave her.

"Why? What happened?" I asked. Melissa was right about one thing.

"I'd rather not talk about it. But I'm fine. I promise." I heard a soft sniff. Almost like she was crying.

"Em. You're not fine. I'm coming over whether you like it or not."

I hung up the phone before she could say anything else. I'll apologize for that later, but right now, all I cared about was my friend. My best friend who I love and always will love. At this point I didn't care about her breakup with Maya or Toby. All I cared about was her and what she might do to herself. Just the thought of Emily harming herself makes my heart ache. I mean, she's done it before. I won't let her do it again. I ran downstairs and grabbed my keys from the counter. Emily please be safe. I'm coming.

I knocked hardly onto the door. Emily is here, but her mother isn't. Why did she lie to me? She told me was watching a movie with her mom. God Emily. Please be okay. I realized no one was going to come to the door so I lifted up the mat on the front porch and grabbed the key. Why didn't I do this at first? I'm so stupid, she's probably done it by now. I ran upstairs into Emily's room.

"Emily!" I yelled but no answer. "Emily, please answer me! Emily!" I ran into the bathroom and there she was..sitting in the bathroom holding something into her hands. I took a long and heavy sigh of relief and fell to my knees to help her. I took the palm of hand and forced it open. Her palm was bloody with a huge scar through the center. The object fell to the floor. A razor blade. I quickly stood up and ran to the sink, still holding her hand. I ran warm water onto the scar and she flinched a little. My head turned towards her. She looked at me with sad eyes. Her eyes were puffy and red. God, I can't believe this. I promised her. I fucking promised her I wouldn't let her do this anymore. Tears threatened to fall from my eyes, but I wouldn't let them. I couldn't let them. I wanted to show Emily how strong I am. I found the nearest towel and wrapped the palm of her hand carefully.

"I'm sorry Spencer. I tried to stop myself, but I couldn't. I.." I interrupted her.

"Hey, you did. You did stop yourself. Don't talk. I've got you."

I smiled lightly at her. Emily was strong. Emily was in deed strong. If I was in this situation, I would have done way worse to myself. I commend her for that. But I'm still mad at myself. I blame myself for not making it here fast enough. I blame myself for knocking on the door when I just could have used the spare key. I blame myself for not believing Melissa. I couldn't hold back my tears anymore.

I grabbed Emily and captured her into a much needed hug. We both sobbed into each others' arms. It took us a while to realize where we were and we both decided to go into Emily's room. Right now, all I want to do is make sure Emily's okay. We sat really far from each other. She sat up with her back onto the headboard of her bed and I was on the other side of the room, sitting on Emily's window seat. I made eye contact with her for a long moment..well at least until she pulled away. She patted the spot next to her signaling for me to come over.

"Stay with me tonight, Spence. I don't want to be alone." She pleaded. I smiled at her and nodded, before making my way over to her.

"I was already planning on it." I wrapped my arms around her pulling her into another warm hug.

"I love you Spencer more than anything." My heart fluttered into my chest and I couldn't help but smile. Her lips then connected with my cheek.

"I love you too Em..so much. If Maya doesn't come back for you, she's crazy because you're awesome and strong and did I mention the captain of the Rosewood High Swim Team?" We both chuckled a little bit.

"Thanks Spence. I don't what I'd do without you."

I smiled and held her into my arms. Before I could ask her about the 'Toby Maya situation', she drifted off to sleep. She's already heartbroken and hurt. Like any other friend, I'm just going to wait until she decides to tell me. I hope she does..but you know what they say about hope. It breeds eternal misery.