Note: For some reason, I'm in this depressing mood and need to get it out. I'm having these angsty story ideas come out of nowhere and I can't get rid of them until I write them down. This is a really depressing story...to me anyway. I really have no idea how I got this from writing a simple song. It just came to me. I would never wish this to really happen however.

I wrote this song a few nights ago when we had a thunderstorm. I couldn't sleep so I just started writing. I really hate rain so I thought, why not write about it? I'm not giving a name to the newsie, so choose your favorite.

I turned to face the window, twisting the covers of my bed, now for one instead of two. My heart is pounding in pain, the pain of you being gone...the place where you once were is empty. I can't feel anything...not since you died.

The shadows of raindrops form on my face as the thunderstorm outside rages on. The window is closed, but I can feel the coldness outside from where I lay. The rain outside seems to strike harder onto the window as time passes by. I can just imagine your silhouette right there, watching the rain fall onto the streets below. That was one way that we were different. I hated rain, but not as much as I hate it now.

I can't cry for you. I can feel the tears building up in my eyes, but they don't fall. A glance to the window once more lets me know. The rain is crying for me, it feels my pain. The rain only serves to make me angrier and more depressed however. You loved the rain. Everything is beginning to remind me of you.

I should have known that this would happen one day. New York City is a dangerous place. I should have been prepared for the phone call from the hospital, telling me that you had been injured, whether from a carriage or a thief with a knife in his belt hoping to make a quick couple dollars.

Thunder roars, and it seems to come from all around me. All my anger is shown in this display. I knew that there wasn't anything I could have done to save you, but I could have tried. I was tempted to go see you that day. Maybe we would have been inside when the guns started going off outside. Maybe you still would be here, protecting me from the storm outside.

Lightning shot into the room, blinding me momentarily. Everything in the room lit up in a bright white. It all looks more menacing now, the way the light flickers on everything's surface before going out.

Shadows form on the wall, towering over me, as if feeding on my fear. That's the strange thing about shadows, it's almost like they can sense a person's feelings. They strike at exactly the right moment, hoping to build up terror in your heart. Now, it only causes me to glare at the pouring rain outside. I want to be angry at something, might as well be the thing I hate the most.

But as soon as the shadows form, they're gone again. Is there any sense in being mad at something that can't show emotion or even have the proof that they existed after the light fades? Was anything real anymore?

I glance around the room, trying to shape your face in the darkness. But I can't even seem to remember what you look like anymore. I can't imagine the feel of your hand holding mine. That spark that I once knew...it's gone.

I can still remember the feeling of your arms around me however. It always made me feel so safe and protected, like nothing outside could ever touch me. I imagine your whispers in the night, telling me that everything will be all right. That in the morning, it'll be over and a new day will start.

I sigh and sink deeper into the covers. The imagined feeling of your arms disappears. It wasn't real, even though it seemed that you were just there beside me. The air no longer holds that grace that I felt whenever you were in the room with me. It's all a dream though. There's no point in believing in something that isn't real. I had let my imagination get out of hand. There was nothing beside me but half of a comforter, flat against the mattress and a pillow perfectly fluffed beside my head.

The memories of you slowly fade away, no matter how much I try to hold onto them. I unconsciously reach out, trying to grab them back and never forget. I find that I can't though. I lay still after that, images flashing through my mind of the times we had, holding onto everything that I had left. I close my eyes tightly and turn to face where you would normally be. I can actually feel your presence leave the room and I'm left alone. There's nothing I can do to make you stay with me. You belong somewhere else now.

Thunderstorm

The rain beats against my window

Matching the pounding of my heart

It strikes deep into my soul

Threatening to tear me apart

Inside I feel it's terrible beating

The rain...it's crying for me

Tears that stay hidden beneath the surface

Struggling to break free

The thunder roars

Echoing off the walls

Lightning strikes

Eliminating all

Shadows form

Only to disappear in an instant

It seems like they never came

Like a dream that is distant

Hidden against the wall

Trying to see your face in the dark

Feels like the world's about to fall

Missing that familiar spark

I imagine your arms around me

Your comforting words in my ear

Telling me that I can be free

And to have no fear

But your warm embrace

Is just a dream

No matter how much I want to your grace

Or how real it seems

I can imagine your figure beside me

Holding me close

Want to believe in this dream

Never want to let go

But it's all in my imagination

As you slowly fade away

I don't move to stop you

Nothing I do can make you remain