1. Jaina
Really, Jaina wished that Jacen would see that what he was doing was wrong. It tore her heart to pieces, hearing about his latest misdeed. (so many things, she'd lost count at this point)
She remembered when they were younger, and there was still Sith and the dark side, of course, but they both new that it was bad and you didn't join it. It was something to resist, to fight.
Somehow, somewhere, the lines were blurred to Jacen.
Somehow, he got it in his mind that you could use the dark side to do good.
But that was wrong, wrong, WRONG. The dark side can never be used in that way. She knew that, Uncle Luke knew that, Aunt Mara knew that, even her dad knew that.
It only ever messed things up.
But, somehow, Jacen didn't seem to know that.
Even with this, she was defensive over him, not wanting to hear any comparisons to their grandfather, lashing out at someone who did.
It was because, she truly missed him.
Not the Jacen that was running around and fighting now, Darth Caedus, but Jacen Solo, her twin brother.
Her good friend.
Her closest ally.
The one who really understood her.
2. Jacen
Jacen sometimes hates himself for what he does.
And, of course he does. Who would be proud of attacking their parents? Killing their Aunt? Manipulating who knows how many people?
Sure, there was some pride, but not much.
It was mostly self-hate.
Most of all, he hated himself for betraying his twin sister, the one who could really understand him.
He remembers back to when they were young, and can't help but to miss it. (the bad jokes just seem ridiculous now, but part of him wishes he had the humor to tell them)
He's doing this for the good of the galaxy, he knows that so well (it's his inner mantra) but he wishes it could happen some other way. (less pain and death and torment and war, maybe?)
Most of all, he wishes he could've explained himself. To Jaina, to everyone.
He knows he's dying, deep down. He heard stories about Vader, about Anakin. He's seen the parallels, but not consciously acknowledged them.
He wishes not that he could retract what he did, but that he could explain himself.
Then, maybe, Jaina would understand him again.
Somehow, he knows that won't happen.
a n d h e w a s r i g h t
fin