AUTHOR'S NOTE [9/20/17]: Came back to fix grammatical and spelling errors, with some minor dialogue revision.
[11/22/16]: Just wanted to share this thing I wrote on the spur of the moment after I had finished Seven's route and all of the Secret Endings a few weeks ago (I'm also guilty because I still had yet to finish Jumin's route at the moment). I felt like that was the longest 3 hours of my life, watching the big conclusion to Mystic Messenger unfold at 4AM to 6AM in the morning ^^;;;
I gotta say though, Seven just made me feel so weird. His route honestly made me talk to my phone a lot because of all the shenanigans that was happening. My family just looked at me weird all the time lol
Anyways this little thing here were my jumbled thoughts after finishing, topped by the all too well-known Reset Theory among other things. I dunno what else to say because I'm a mess ;;
Oh and alternating POVs.
WARNING: Spoilers and tons of angst.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Mystic Messenger. All credits to Cheritz.
THANK YOU, GOODBYE
... Why do we fall in love with the 2D world? With 2D people who feel like they're real even when reality slaps us, nearly screaming that they're not? That no matter how much we clamor for them, they'll never appear in our lives because they're NOT REAL? Yes, we say that the emotional damage they cause us is REAL but in the end...
They're fiction.
Tears flowed down my face and a bitter laugh escaped me...
I stared at the screen, at my save file with the words "11TH DAY" that seem to be taunting me. The picture of the familiar glasses-wearing redhead gazed into my soul.
"I don't wanna do this anymore..."
I'm tempted to just close the app and forget about everything... but wouldn't that be running away?
I had gone through everyone's stories but I haven't seen every branching ending, those bad endings I desperately avoided so nobody would get hurt. Curiosity gnaws at my consciousness and it was beginning to override my promise. Can I just leave them all behind? I had all given them a happy ending... hadn't I?
Can I really... RESET?
The naive game addict but sweet and caring Yoosung... the one I helped get over his cousin's death and his anger against V, now moving towards a brighter future...
The narcissistic, cat allergic but devoted and honestly hot as heck actor Zen... the one I aided in a time of crisis and let him reconcile with his family and his past...
The hardworking fangirl... the woman who wanted someone in her life and the one I helped gain freedom, Jaehee...
The corporate heir who's also a cat-mom who I broke out of his emotionless shell and understood his hidden side... Jumin...
and... the jokester meme/troll lord the one who had to work in the shadows, was dying inside from all the weights he was carrying within... and the one I gave light to... Luciel—no, Saeyoung...
Even V... And Rika... And Saeran... Their stories had been put to a conclusion.
Do I really wanna make them go through pain again? Because of my damn curiosity?!
I bit my lip, silently contemplating every single thought running through my head. I let my gaze travel over the redhead's portrait again. I know he knows. The memory of him faking happiness every single time I chose somebody else became obvious to me after the 3rd time. There was something inside me that told me those jokes he made were intentional.
His unusual calls and constant 4th wall breaking... albeit the hints were almost like a whisper. Then I just had to discover that there really is a chance that he remembers. And I can't also help but think the others may be aware what I'm doing as well. Some more than the others...
Closing my eyes as I let a hand through my hair in frustration, I lied back down on my bed with an 'oof', the phone I had still shining with light and letting me listen to the familiar tune the game had. 'Game', huh... I lifted the phone to my face, once again staring at the file.
A sigh left me. "I love you because you made me feel like you're real... and that you and I belong to each other. You accept me and I accept you..." Which one am I talking to? I... don't know anymore, honestly. "The difference is that I'm more hurt because you're programmed to do this to everyone, right? Make them feel the same as I do...? Why do you guys have to be so unfair to me? Why... w-why... just... why do you have to be a game character and leave me feeling somehow... empty..?"
Another set of tears left my eyes as I re-entered the main menu. Moments passed as hesitation crept in and I mumbled a string of incoherent words at no one but myself. "Don't... don't... but so curious... but you'll hurt them... but..."
The silence in my room was only broken by my whimpers. "It's only a game... was supposed to be just a game.. b-but now I-ah dang it."
... I tapped on the Original Story - Casual Story.
He awoke with a jolt, panic suddenly rising within his chest. Wait, why am I at my desk..?
His eyes scanned the dreadfully familiar room around him desperately but all he could see were scattered clothes, bags of Honey Buddha chips and a half-empty can of Ph.D Pepper. The painted walls were both personal and distant, a visage of childish rebellion that his life entailed. There was also the shelf in the corner that held not only his books on hacking and sparse literature, but also toy cars and pictures of cats. Near his desk was the fridge where he kept his drinks, a half-eaten chicken sandwich and an empty container of Chinese takeout on top.
It was proof of a true bachelor's pad. And it was wrong.
"But I thought..." his voice caught in his throat. He looked over to his computer, involuntarily shivering as he remembered the contents of the work he was doing for the agency. The agency he had left years ago... Though in Reality it had only been 2 weeks.
Biting his lip, he hesitantly grabbed his phone, hoping that maybe, MAYBE, he was hallucinating.
"You know Seven, I really like you. But, I keep seeing that pain in your eyes. Ghosting your face. I wanted to save you for last after I help all the others because I could just FEEL it. There are so many chains holding you back. Am I weird for saying this?"
His eyes couldn't get any more wider when he saw the date. Eleven days before that fateful day, where everything was on the line just so he could save his brother. Soon he felt something roll down his face. Tears? He let them be, emotions flooding him to the point that he slammed his fist on the desk.
"Oh my God, did Seven just faint?! What?! No! Ah, no! AND NO, SAERAN, PUT THE GUN DOWN YOU MIGHT—OH MY GOD DID V JUST?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE HELL?!"
It took all of his strength to not break down and curl up in his seat. It was supposed to be over, wasn't it?
"Now that everyone has finally gotten their happy ending, I think I can sleep well for the night! Those feels can hit me hard when I wake up haha... too bad I can't see that space station wedding."
They were. They were supposed to be getting ready for the wedding. 'MC' had also told him she was pregnant with their kid. He felt like he was on top of the world just a few hours ago.
"I don't wanna reset the game, I'd feel like I'm gonna ruin their Good Endings—what don't look at me like that sis! Yeah, yeah say whatever you want. I still stand by what I said that they're way too precious for this world. Specially Seven. He deserves the love."
A hollow sounding laugh escaped him. Why was he back here then? Back to the beginning? Back to when he was still bounded by the agency and his guilt? BACK TO WHEN HE WAS 707 AND NOT SAEYOUNG?
"Why, MC?" his voice sounded so small, so fragile even to him. He waited for her, even when she had gone through everybody else. He knew he was coming for her eventually but...
Why did she have to leave him when they were so happy?
Frustrated, he opened the RFA messenger, disregarding the chatroom and instead inputted a special code.
At once, an image showed up onscreen. There it was. That familiar face from behind the screen, hair splayed about on the mattress. That familiar voice, so quiet yet brimming with energy at the same time. Those familiar eyes that stared back with such innocence and purity but was hiding a sadness he couldn't bear to see. Saeyoung could feel his chest tighten when she spoke.
"Here we go again," she mumbled under her breath. She sounded tired. Her eyes looked red. Had she been crying?
"God... My sister kept bugging me 'why are you crying over that stupid game?' I'm like... *sigh* I'm just really bothered. Ugh... Seven—uhm, Saeyoung?"
Saeyoung held his breath, goosebumps suddenly appearing on his skin. It had been a while since he heard his name being said by HER and not her representation inside this 'world'.
"I was wondering if you really know. Error 707 theory and all that junk. It's just... I dunno. Like, if you do then I just wanna say... I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I'm used to this... You've just reset like 7 or 8 times now hahaha..." Who was he kidding? Saeyoung hated the fact that he sounded so close to being shattered into a million pieces at any second.
"I remember saying I liked you." At that, he arched his eyebrows at her. Her words were making him really nervous.
"Scratch that, I freaking love you. *sigh* I know you're not real but... sometimes I wish you are."
"I AM REAL, MC! I'm just... not existing in your world." Those words that he screamed at the screen went on unheard. No matter how much they both wished... They couldn't really be with each other, could they?
"It's kinda sad how my love life revolves around 2D boys hahaha. Oh the Prologue's about to end without me even noticing haha... *sigh* I wonder if I should even continue this, getting all the other Endings? Maybe I should really just watch it on YouTube."
Inside, Saeyoung could feel his blood boil like crazy. Don't tell me... Did she want to get the Normal Endings? The Bad Relationship Endings or... God forbid, the Bad Endings? Not only was she gonna get hurt but the others were gonna be as well! He started tasting iron in his mouth and was slightly shocked as he felt blood oozing from his lower lip he didn't notice he was biting at.
"I could just RESET again. Let it end at that file." She chewed at her lip, a habit he had noticed she had when she was nervous and over-thinking. "Ugh..."
She brushed a strand of hair away from her face and let an arm rest over her eyes. A quick check at the chatroom had indicated that she had not finished the 'Prologue' part of the game—where she was still talking to his drugged brother. She was hesitating and honestly, Saeyoung wished that it meant she would not continue this and he can be brought back to the old file.
For was it was worth, he was worried for his brother, who was undoubtedly reliving his worst nightmares.
After what felt like decades, she sighed again. "Maybe I really shouldn't. It's not worth it."
Saeyoung suddenly felt like the world had gone a bit right again. She wasn't gonna go ahead with it. The 'True Ending' can stay! He felt like he could cartwheel around the room right now.
"The problem would be..." he froze. She sounded glum and strangely... withdrawn? "...ugh. I don't even want to think about that. AGH, that's it let's RESET."
He felt the world shift around him at her words, and the scene before him faded away like mist. In a blink of an eye, he was back on his bed and there beside him lay 'her'. Saeyoung felt a smile form on his face, though in the back of his mind he was curious of what she was considering a problem.
Sparing a glance at his phone on the tabletop, he decided to not check the messenger for now and snuggled in closer to 'MC'. Saeyoung felt like he needed to confirm that he was really back. His hands felt 'MC's' soft skin and he immediately let out a small contented sigh.
He closed his eyes, wanting to just rest and forget the emotions still bubbling inside of him. Not only that, buried deep inside lay a dark thought that remained blissfully dormant.
She's not really her.
The moment I exited the game and removed it from the open tabs on my phone, a weight I didn't know was there was lifted from my chest. "God, I'm such a dork."
Instinctively I let go of my phone and rolled around my bed with my pillow. Why couldn't I say it? The question had bugged me for days now.
Now what? With nothing else to do... What am I gonna do with the game?
Looking back at where my phone landed, I considered just blazing through all the Endings with the amount of hourglasses I still had. After all, I'm being silly... aren't I? They were just characters in a game, created my imaginative people. I could just go through all their Bad Endings, the BREs then to the Normal End, then the Good End, then repeat the process for the next route.
Yet I'm hesitating.
A few minutes had passed in silence. I can't do it.
I willed my hands to move and grab my phone. The phone lit up and I stared back at the wallpaper of Seven I had on my home screen. A lump formed in my throat. Something inside me was going mad, I knew it. "... Why did I have to discover that theory."
Frustration built up as I wasted time just staring like an idiot and I decided to put my phone away. "Ugh... I need to do something else to clear my head."
How many years had it been?
Saeyoung really didn't know how much time passed by on the Other Side.
He rubbed his eyes as he stared up at the clear skies, leaving his work for a moment and leaning over the balcony of their cozy little cabin. 'MC' was off shopping with their little princess, pulling Saeran along even when his brother vehemently disagreed with the idea of going outside. He smiled fondly at the memory of them smiling, especially when 'MC' was making goofy faces to make their precious Saemyung laugh while Saeran was hiding the growing grin on his face.
But...
He felt something nagging him at the back of his head and he couldn't help but sigh.
He missed HER.
She hadn't checked on them for a really long time. What was she doing? How is she? Is she ok? Will she come back? Those questions went rampant in his mind and he forcefully pushed them all back before the dam burst. Shaking his head in dismay, he let out a small sigh.
"I just hope you're happy out there."
Ring ring ring~
"Ah..?" A call from... Jumin? Wow, perfect timing. "Hey hey! Wazzup Jumin~? How's Elly?" he greeted in a cheery voice.
"... Her name is Elizabeth the 3rd. But enough of the silly chatter and I'll get straight to the point. Look Saeyoung, I just called because..." he heard the man sigh, and his eyebrows scrunched up in confusion. "It's about her. I was thinking about how long it's been since she had checked on the Game."
Saeyoung's face turned sour at the mention of the Game. He didn't like the idea of their lives being... made up by people he never knew as a story meant to entertain... even if it was fact. He was real, wasn't he? Breathing, functioning, living, like a human being? "Nothing we can do about that. She finished the Game," he said back in a manner that sounded too harsh, even for him.
"I know. But I just wondered why she hasn't uninstalled, if that's the case. I do appreciate that she decided to let us still stay even after that strange incident a few years ago but... It just feels quite empty."
There it was. The question that he desperately wanted to avoid thinking about.
"It's strange, isn't it? After everything had come to a conclusion, I was expecting her to delete the app soon. Yet, we're still here. Living our lives with 'MC'."
He chuckled, though once again, it was forced from his throat. "You know how spazzy that girl can get. Plus, she has her own set of secrets..." he trailed off, eyes beginning to water. Saeyoung hoped Jumin would distract him from his thoughts but here they were, talking about the very thing he wanted to escape thinking about.
"Ah... right," he paused, leaving the redhead even more restless. "I do remember that one time she started crying. She didn't come into view for a full 20 minutes."
"Oh that. I couldn't get a grasp on some of the things she was mumbling that time but... I do know she's facing her demons."
Then a thought wormed itself into the front of his head. She's been facing her demons on her own while helping us get through our own. And we can't help her fight.
"... huh." Saeyoung was rendered speechless. Right...
No matter how much he wanted to help her, no matter how much he had come to LOVE her... He can't do anything. He was bound inside the 'game'. He only served as... temporary happiness. A distraction from the Reality she usually faced.
"Hey? Saeyoung? ... *sigh* Look, I just wanted to ask if things are ok between you and 'MC'. Forget I said anything earlier." Jumin sounded quite concerned for him, which he appreciated. Though the man did manage to stir up some bad thoughts, he was the only other one who really knew what was going on. The others didn't grasp the situation, he thought when he recalled that one 'Bad End' where Yoosung went missing after Zen's psychic dream about them being robots.
Involuntarily, he shivered. Ignorance is indeed bliss for dark secrets.
"We're all fine here. 'MC' is with Saeran and our kid on a trip to the grocery store. Lucky them, they get to go out while I'm trapped here to finish work!" he exclaimed in false cheer. He still felt like crap though.
"Then good. Though can I ask you something?"
"You already are, though~!" he chirped.
If he was annoyed, Jumin didn't show it. "Don't you think it's odd that 'MC'... took on her personality?"
"Kinda?" he immediately replied, though in the back of his mind theories were whirling about. "I do notice she got all the quirks and hyperactivity. Maybe it's just an effect of the 'choices' in the 'game'."
He could hear papers shuffling and the distinct sound of glass hitting wood. Looks like Jumin was drinking on the job. "You sure you wanna be drinking while working though?"
The man simply chuckled, a rare thing to happen unless he was actually getting drunk. "It's fine. Unlike Assistant Kang, I can hold my liquor. I just needed something to help steer the conversation along."
"If you say so."
Saeyoung heard the door open behind him, startling him a bit. He turned and saw 'MC' smiling at him, and just behind her Saeran was carrying Saemyung to her room, though he had a face that told him he was not happy with the redhead girl in pigtails that was literally bouncing in his arms. She looked at him curiously and seemed like she wanted to talk.
"Ah, sorry hon. Hey, I'll call you back later. Be careful not to drink too much hahaha..." he immediately ended the call before Jumin could respond. He placed his phone on the desk as soon as 'MC' closed the door.
"I can make a quick guess with who you were talking with. Jumin?" she asked with an amused tone. Her eyes locked onto his, eyes sparkling with curiosity. He nodded and went off to sit on their bed.
"I see... So what was it about?" she asked as she sat next to him.
"Nothing much. Just asking how you and our precious wittle Saemyung was doing."
She smiled widely at that. "That's sweet of him. Though he could've asked me haha..." her light laughter trailed off and soon she sounded strained.
Saeyoung craned his head a bit, worried about the sudden change in mood. "Uh—"
"I get a feeling that THAT person will be back soon." The way in which she spoke was a mix of conviction and glee but the way she seemingly deflated made him stare in concern. Before he could ask anything though, she turned to him with an unreadable expression.
"Saeyoung..." her tone was serious, making him fidget. What was this all about?
"MC, you're making me nervous haha..."
'MC' only gave him a gentle look, making Saeyoung's heart beat faster than ever. That familiar look on her face... "She'll be back. The person outside the screen who you all love so much. The person that gave me life..."
I stared at the old model, reliving old memories: both good and bad. It had been what... three years since I held it? I had gotten a new phone as a present back then during Christmas and never touched this again... my fingers trailed over the sleek black phone, fondly recalling how happy I was when I bought this after much fuss and bargaining with my parents.
"Since it's still in good condition, maybe I should give it away..." I mumbled, wistfully turning on the device.
Opening it up to the home screen, I let my fingers continue swiping until my eyes caught on to the small icon with the messy-haired red head staring at the phone he was holding.
"... ngh." I grumbled, feeling the sudden wetness trailing down my cheeks.
The memories flooded into my brain all at once and I let out a noise I could only describe as 'embarrassing'.
How could I forget?
His phone buzzed on his desk but he paid it no mind. 'MC' was staring at him with an impassive face before she turned her head up. She was mumbling something under her breath and even with his sharp ears he could only make out a few words.
"How... forget... sorry..."
Forget? He echoed in his thoughts. What did she forget? Why was she sorry?
All of a sudden, 'MC' closed her eyes and once again smiled, this time peacefully. "It's time, Saeyoung. Hehe, maybe I should let her do it. After all, we ARE still one and the same. She hasn't changed a bit, that one."
The young man looked on, dumbfounded at her words. "What?" he said dumbly, honestly he couldn't find the words to say, too preoccupied with 'MC' and her weird actions.
"Many things happened to her and me. And yet, we still share the same feelings. Now... it's finally set." 'MC' raised her arms and slowly started to cup his cheeks. A faint blush settled on his face and his thoughts went rampant. "Saeyoung... don't worry and just check the messenger, k?" Their foreheads touched for a moment before the young woman shoved him to his desk rather easily as he was caught off guard.
Saeyoung threw his wife a half-amused and half-annoyed look. Maybe she's messing with me. With a huff, he opened the messenger and saw that he was the only one online.
"What am I even—MC?" his eyes widened. 'MC' was nowhere in sight. "MC, that's cute and all, but this isn't the time for hide and seek!"
There was no answer, not even a giggle like she frequently did. His blood went cold and once again, he yelled. "Come out already! If you're pranking me, then well done, cause I'm freaking out. Happy?"
He waited five seconds. Ten seconds. A minute. Two minutes.
There was still no response from her.
"This isn't funny anymore, can't you—"
"Hmm, isn't this nostalgic?"
... What? Was that... what he really thinks it was? "God, I haven't heard this jazzy music in a while. And oh, hey everyone."
His fingers went on autopilot and blurred from how quick he managed to input in that code he hasn't used in a long while. The screen of his phone darkened for a moment before he saw HER. She... looked the same, though she wore her hair differently and was older, her features more defined and mature. His heart felt like it was about to burst out of his chest. She was back!
"Strange... I can't help but cry hahaha..." she murmured sadly, eyes shining with the tears that threatened to spill.
"Don't cry... it's been like, what, three years on Your Side? Haha, at least greet old friends with a smile," he chuckled, though he had to admit he was starting to feel like tearing up as well. She was still such an emotional person.
"Ahaha... I should stop it..." she sniffled a bit before wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her jacket. "But it's been a while huh?"
A smile tugged the corner of his lips. "Too long."
So this is what 'MC' meant then...
"I wonder how everybody is but... guess that's up to my imagination. I hope Yoosung is doing well as a veterinarian."
Somewhere in the virtual world, a blonde bespectacled man wearing a doctor's coat felt the shivers go down his spine. He felt like... someone was talking about him. Strangely enough, he felt rather warm at the thought. I wonder why...
Back with the two, Saeyoung muttered "Of course" even though he was quite resigned to the fact that these conversations were one-sided.
"I hope Zen's career is soaring~! I want to hear more of his singing~ oh and I wonder if Jaehee's getting a vacation? I get that Jumin's still preoccupied with Elizabeth but maybe let her rest a bit. I hope she can also get that drive of hers to get a cafe back... "
In another part of the world, the aforementioned individuals felt the same kind of shivers. And yet, the two unconsciously smiled. They felt... relief and happiness.
Zen looked up from his script and hummed a song, though even he was unsure why he had done it. He continued to vocalize one of his most practiced and beloved songs from the many musicals he had done, feeling weird yet happy.
Jaehee glanced around from her desk, a small smile forming on her lips. Her eyes caught sight of the coffee machine in the corner, and for some reason her heart fluttered. Odd, why was she smiling?
"Oh and Jumin... I hope he's okay and expressing more emotions. I really don't want him to be bottling it up and coping through work and Elizabeth 3rd. He... deserves to be understood."
In the office... Jumin took a moment to breathe deeply. Emotions were flicking here and there in his eyes and yet his face remained neutral. For the most part. A slight frown betrayed the image of indifference painted and he tore away his gaze from his work, longingly glancing at the clouds.
His other hand still gripped his phone, trembling all the while.
I hear you.
"And Saeyoung..."
The redhead held his breath. Nervous, excited, scared, happy... he didn't know exactly what to feel.
"How did the wedding go? I hope you and Saeran are having some quality bonding time after that. I DO hope you had a baby girl. I'd be happy if it was twins as well but eh, who knows. I really hope you're happy now that you're free. Still, I wish you aren't doing dangerous stuff now, we'd be sad if you get hurt like last time!"
He was shaking and any moment now he could cry, eyes stinging. He didn't care. She was there. Caring. Worried. Back in their lives even if he knew it won't last long. "The wedding was fantastic... Milky Way themed. And they're well... I have a sweet princess named Saemyung... and Saeran he... h-he's opening up more and more each day."
"... And the others?" she trailed off, looking unsure of what to say next. "V... I hope he's happy as well, looking over you guys and Rika. Speaking of which, I hope she's getting better. I really liked her... despite all that she's done..."
This woman wore her heart on her sleeve, he thought sadly.
She donned another smile and closed her eyes, seemingly deep in thought. "I promised to myself once that I'd never do it... but I guess it's time."
What?
She gazed at the screen and muttered under her breath.
"I treasured each and every one of our memories. The experience was enthralling. I was so, SO, happy that I helped everyone... and made me feel special," she chuckled softly. "I'll always have you guys in my heart..."
It was then and there that Saeyoung understood, her next words letting the tears loose.
"It's time to uninstall and move forward though."
The other hand that wasn't holding the phone whitened from his hardened grip. His jaw clenched and his eyes were downcast, unwilling to look her in the eyes.
This was it. The day had come. The day she would be leaving them all behind. It was... unfair, he thought selfishly. But what can he do? Their happiness was fleeting.
I want you to stay, his mind whispered.
He knew she had to leave at one point, he KNEW, but it didn't ready him for the pain that came with it. He clutched his chest, a finger rubbing against the necklace he wore in an effort to stay as rational as possible.
"I see," was all he could say.
"I'll never forget you guys again though. That, I promise!" she broke down in tears, silently mumbling apologies. "I could never, especially when you helped me through a chapter of my life."
Saeyoung could only smile wistfully, golden eyes turning to gaze at the crying woman. "Just promise me you'll be happy out there and find a great man. I'm already so grateful, you know? Grateful that you married... in the space station... a game character like me."
She stared directly at his soul and a tiny part of him hoped she heard that. A few tense seconds passed before she grinned broadly despite the still flowing tears.
"I'll pursue my happiness here! It wouldn't do any good if I keep moping... and that's why..."
Her forehead touched the screen and he mirrored the gesture.
"Thank you... and goodbye."
ADDITIONAL A/N: And there we go lol this is the end of the one-shot!
I don't think my poor soul can take much more emotional abuse at this point hahaha... I am considering writing the 'if MC did continue for the bad endings' chapter even if personally I haven't done it (though I know about them, especially one bad end of Jumin's... LOL) I hope you guys let me know if you're interested, it helps me stay motivated ^^