I just got the idea for this song fic while listening to CMT's Top 20 Countdown. I really hope that you enjoy it.
What Hurts The Most
Rain was pelting the ground and windows as Arya paced the floor of her room. It had only been two weeks since Eragon had died, killing Galabatorix in the process.
Now Arya stood at the window, staring at a drawing of Eragon, Saphira, and herself. She didn't even realize that, at the time, they were being watched. She was too happy.
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
Tears fell onto the glass covering. Arya felt dizzy and she sat down, taking deep, slow breaths.
I can take a few tears every now and then and let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
It seemed like all Arya ever did now was weep. She felt so alone…empty. Everything seemed to hurt, especially her heart.
Even though goin' on with you gone still upsets me
She had to put on a good show for everyone, acting like she was perfectly fine. It was tearing her up inside.
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me
She balled her hands into fists and clenched them together, her finger nails digging into her palms. "I miss you…" she whispered quietly, "I…miss you, Eragon…it hurts…it hurts so much"
What hurts the most
Was bein' so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
She began to remember when they first received news that Galabatorix was only a few days away from attacking them. Eragon was going to lead their army on Saphira the next day. That night, array went to Eragon. It was the last time she ever saw him. The next day he was captured and tortured. Somehow he managed to kill Galabatorix. But he died just minutes later.
And never knowin'
What cold have been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do
Yesterday Arya had gone out, seen her mother and Orik and Nasuada and Angela. Arya had made herself seem normal, and smile. It was more painful than she could have thought possible.
It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Everyday Arya had to force herself to get up out of bed. And at almost every waking moment, she was sick.
Still harder
Getting' up, getting' dressed, livin' with this regret
Regret was all she felt. Regret for not spending as much time with him as possible. Regret for not laughing with him more. Regret for not telling him how she really felt.
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
"I didn't want to feel that way!" Arya burst out suddenly. "I didn't want to love him!" tears were streaming down her face. "I didn't want to…but I did…I did with all my heart…I do love him"
What hurts the most
Was bein' so close
And having' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
Arya wept harder. "I never…t-told him…I never told him…that I-I love him"
And never knowin'
What could have been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tyin' to do
Sometimes she just wished that it all would just end. That all of her pain would be taken away. That she could join Eragon. But then she'd remember…
What hurts the most
Was bein' so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away
And never knowin'
What could have been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do
"I'll stay here, Eragon…" she whispered, cradling her stomach. "I'll stay here and raise our child…your baby"
Not seein' that loving' you
That's what I was tryin' to do