Okay, here's my try at writing a Mary-Sue Marian parody. This is difficult
for me because I have never actually tried writing parodies and I have a
very sad lack of knowledge about Robin and mostly his victims at this
point. SNIFF. However, here's an attempt, which was quite fun.
Maid Marian Sue and the Gang of Arabian (bum Ba BUM!) Thieves...AND yet another sighting and miss of the Evil Marian Sue by the Fluff Club
On a bright spring, afternoon Robin Hood, the most gorgeous outlaw, was strutting his stuff through the forest of Sherwood. He was passively walking along admiring his flexed biceps and the firmness of his jaw when he heard a startling CRUNCH on the trail gravel behind him. Not a loud crunch, but the kind you can only hear when you have nothing on your mind and are extremely bored, as Robin was that day. (He was taking a day off because the Fluff Club had stolen all villains to feed to the Wombat Pit.)
He veered around, looking quickly to the right and then to the left, and then back to the right to calm his rising nerves. Assured he was just imagining things as a person often does when they're alone in a dank forest and meanwhile being the only person for quite sometime. He continued on his walk again, petting the storybook brown-eyed chipmunks that would come up to him and Robin would also run his fingers through his golden Californian locks. He halted briefly when he realized a most frightening thing. There was no sound that could be heard in the forest.
Well there was sound, there is always sound. If you listen closely you can always hear the steady beat of your heart, or perhaps panicked rush of blood through your veins. Well actually I don't know about that last one, because I've never personally tried to listen.
But the only things Robin could hear on that odd day was the rapid beat of his heart and the sound of a stream, far away in the distance which gave him a little calmness. He kept striding on and on, quite quickly now, for he was eager to get back home and away from the-CRUNCH. Robin spun around breathless. There was nothing...except for a tree...oh the HORROR. But besides the tree, as Robin squinted his delicate eyes into the glowing sun, was a shadow, fanned out towards him. And behind the tree stepped out a figure.
Robin immediately threw his hands up against the sun to shield his eyes and tell if this stranger was friend or foe. But the trees seemed to suddenly get taller, clouds appeared out of nowhere and shadowed the sun and the air got strangely...hotter? No, I mean it got strangely chillier. Pardon me there. Tingles raced up and down Robin's arms and he could see goose bumps popping up. He hated goose bumps they reminded him of zits and ZITS were a hero's worst nightmare.
"Come closer let me see you in the shade," Robin said courageously, trying to pour manliness and fearlessness into his words. Something long, fast and sharp flew past Robin at an alarming speed and he tried to quickly draw an arrow but found those to be missing, stolen.
Dark purple fog had started to swirl in a circle around Robin. It's tendrils curling in as to strangle him. Out of the purple mayhem stepped men, heavily armed and dressed as...Arabian thieves? YES, they were the Arabian thieves come straight out of Disney's Aladdin and the King of Thieves! But with just a hint of evil purple magic added.
They were drawing closer now, weapons held to Robin at several uncomfortable places on his body including painful manly areas. Just as Robin closed his eyes and feared the worst, he heard a loud ape cry in the distance, which sounded oddly...feminine? Something was swinging on a rope through the trees getting closer every second. As it approached the sun seemed to shine brighter, the clouds went away and the trees shrunk down to a size normal for foliage.
He could see that the figure was indeed a woman, a VERY attractive and beautiful woman. She could have been an action hero Barbie doll that lined the shelves at Target. Her platinum blonde hair was below her waist and had voluminous curls that bounced as she hit the ground and let go of her vine rope. Her lips were apple red and she had baby blue eyes that sparkled like stars in a midnight sky. Her skin was a tan color only to be found from Mystic Tan booths but in this case, of course, hers was natural.
Instantly she pulled out a large Arnold Schwartzenager [how the heck do you spell his name!?!] gun/laser/Van Helsing arrow shooter thing and started knocking out villains by the second (all while tossing back her hair with a seductive glance towards Robin).
In an impressive take she slid her lethal gun back in its holster and now resorted back on her defenses to using her martial arts techniques [What does this remind you of? Hint, hint SHREK, Fiona. She could almost be a Mary-Sue except she has that nasty ugly green ogre thing].
Robin watched her with sheer admiration and amazement. He flinched as she kicked a villain painfully in the groin area while tactfully spinning around and landing a PUNCH on another villain's jaw. Then in another easy swing she pulled out a short handled flashing dagger, using forward thrusts to stab more villains in the chest and in the back, all the while looking more beautiful and innocent.
Nevertheless, what fascinated Robin was as each villain was killed or knocked unconscious he evaporated into a small pile of powder that oddly resembled the cleaning product Comet, and smelled like it too. Robin picked up a small pile and stirred his finger through its contents, looking for any pieces of jewelry or other particles, hopefully not an ear or eye.
"Hello," Robin spun around to see the woman standing there, now dressed in a white silk dress that fit her idolized figure perfectly, and all villains completely gone and plenty of Comet to last years. "Who are you?" he asked stunned, his mouth hanging open in shock at her new appearance.
"I'm Marian Sue," she replied huskily and took steps towards him drawing very close, "and I will die right where I stand if you do not put your lips to mine." Robin placed his hand on her neck and started passionately kissing her (YES FLUFF CLUB HE'S KISSING A HISS EVIL NASTY MARIAN SUE, ICK ICK). This continued for a very long, and disgusting time, did I mention who he was kissing, oh yeah I did, well you really don't want me to describe that filthy slimy slug kissing Robin, do you? I didn't think so.
Finally, Marian Sue stopped engaging in their passionate PDA, looked Robin in the eyes, and said, "Robin let me say this honestly, you're handsome, I'm absolutely beautiful and we'll make gorgeous children. Let's get married, before the Fluff club gets you before I do," she said but muttering the last tiny bit.
"Alright," he answered immediately, love-struck by her godly attractiveness. Together they strode through the forest, Marian Sue casting nervous looks behind her to make sure no one, cough, fluff club, cough was following her.
Meanwhile...
A group of screaming girls ran into the clearing where Robin and Marian Sue had just stood.
"She was HERE!" Black Pixie and Dragonfirechick screech together, "We know IT! Look here! It's her EYELASH!" they shouted excitedly, holding up a barely visible long eyelash that was found on the ground next to one of the piles of Comet. "It matches her DNA," they shout excitedly, quickly sliding it on a piece of glass under the tiny microscope.
"Hmm, hmm, what's this?" Sugarsprite asks, scooping up a pile of Comet. "Looks like Marian Sue has been doing some Powder puff work, her 'saving the world and extremely hot men' escapades again."
"And no doubt she was saving Robin!" Lyra Monroe says crossly, examing the two pairs of footprints leading off, one indeed matching to be Robin's.
"WE could have been here!" Outlaw Eris shouts angrily. "WE could have saved him. If it wasn't for that filthy, disgusting, wretched, PERFECT Marian Sue."
"She always has to be everywhere," Enchantressofthestars murmurs, "She's always right ahead of our tracks."
"We HAVE to do something!" the Midnight's Magic yells.
"YEAH! We can't let HER have him!" Rebecca shouts, drawing emphasis on the word 'her.'
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Mianne screams, throwing her arms in the air to gather all attention, "We can't waste all day, after her fluffers! We can't let her get away with Robin!" All of the fluff club cackles evilly and rubs their hands together in anticipation of the chase and hopefully capture that will soon follow of the...bum Ba BUM... Marian Sue HISS.
Note: Sorry about turning Robin into sort of a wimp boy toy. The temptation was too hard. You all know of course he is sexy, and COURAGEOUS and would never let a woman be better then him, as it is in this case by the evil Marian Sue saving him. Much apologies and pardon the grammar, punctuation mistakes ect. I did this in maybe a little bit of a rush and that's sadly not my forte anyway.
Maid Marian Sue and the Gang of Arabian (bum Ba BUM!) Thieves...AND yet another sighting and miss of the Evil Marian Sue by the Fluff Club
On a bright spring, afternoon Robin Hood, the most gorgeous outlaw, was strutting his stuff through the forest of Sherwood. He was passively walking along admiring his flexed biceps and the firmness of his jaw when he heard a startling CRUNCH on the trail gravel behind him. Not a loud crunch, but the kind you can only hear when you have nothing on your mind and are extremely bored, as Robin was that day. (He was taking a day off because the Fluff Club had stolen all villains to feed to the Wombat Pit.)
He veered around, looking quickly to the right and then to the left, and then back to the right to calm his rising nerves. Assured he was just imagining things as a person often does when they're alone in a dank forest and meanwhile being the only person for quite sometime. He continued on his walk again, petting the storybook brown-eyed chipmunks that would come up to him and Robin would also run his fingers through his golden Californian locks. He halted briefly when he realized a most frightening thing. There was no sound that could be heard in the forest.
Well there was sound, there is always sound. If you listen closely you can always hear the steady beat of your heart, or perhaps panicked rush of blood through your veins. Well actually I don't know about that last one, because I've never personally tried to listen.
But the only things Robin could hear on that odd day was the rapid beat of his heart and the sound of a stream, far away in the distance which gave him a little calmness. He kept striding on and on, quite quickly now, for he was eager to get back home and away from the-CRUNCH. Robin spun around breathless. There was nothing...except for a tree...oh the HORROR. But besides the tree, as Robin squinted his delicate eyes into the glowing sun, was a shadow, fanned out towards him. And behind the tree stepped out a figure.
Robin immediately threw his hands up against the sun to shield his eyes and tell if this stranger was friend or foe. But the trees seemed to suddenly get taller, clouds appeared out of nowhere and shadowed the sun and the air got strangely...hotter? No, I mean it got strangely chillier. Pardon me there. Tingles raced up and down Robin's arms and he could see goose bumps popping up. He hated goose bumps they reminded him of zits and ZITS were a hero's worst nightmare.
"Come closer let me see you in the shade," Robin said courageously, trying to pour manliness and fearlessness into his words. Something long, fast and sharp flew past Robin at an alarming speed and he tried to quickly draw an arrow but found those to be missing, stolen.
Dark purple fog had started to swirl in a circle around Robin. It's tendrils curling in as to strangle him. Out of the purple mayhem stepped men, heavily armed and dressed as...Arabian thieves? YES, they were the Arabian thieves come straight out of Disney's Aladdin and the King of Thieves! But with just a hint of evil purple magic added.
They were drawing closer now, weapons held to Robin at several uncomfortable places on his body including painful manly areas. Just as Robin closed his eyes and feared the worst, he heard a loud ape cry in the distance, which sounded oddly...feminine? Something was swinging on a rope through the trees getting closer every second. As it approached the sun seemed to shine brighter, the clouds went away and the trees shrunk down to a size normal for foliage.
He could see that the figure was indeed a woman, a VERY attractive and beautiful woman. She could have been an action hero Barbie doll that lined the shelves at Target. Her platinum blonde hair was below her waist and had voluminous curls that bounced as she hit the ground and let go of her vine rope. Her lips were apple red and she had baby blue eyes that sparkled like stars in a midnight sky. Her skin was a tan color only to be found from Mystic Tan booths but in this case, of course, hers was natural.
Instantly she pulled out a large Arnold Schwartzenager [how the heck do you spell his name!?!] gun/laser/Van Helsing arrow shooter thing and started knocking out villains by the second (all while tossing back her hair with a seductive glance towards Robin).
In an impressive take she slid her lethal gun back in its holster and now resorted back on her defenses to using her martial arts techniques [What does this remind you of? Hint, hint SHREK, Fiona. She could almost be a Mary-Sue except she has that nasty ugly green ogre thing].
Robin watched her with sheer admiration and amazement. He flinched as she kicked a villain painfully in the groin area while tactfully spinning around and landing a PUNCH on another villain's jaw. Then in another easy swing she pulled out a short handled flashing dagger, using forward thrusts to stab more villains in the chest and in the back, all the while looking more beautiful and innocent.
Nevertheless, what fascinated Robin was as each villain was killed or knocked unconscious he evaporated into a small pile of powder that oddly resembled the cleaning product Comet, and smelled like it too. Robin picked up a small pile and stirred his finger through its contents, looking for any pieces of jewelry or other particles, hopefully not an ear or eye.
"Hello," Robin spun around to see the woman standing there, now dressed in a white silk dress that fit her idolized figure perfectly, and all villains completely gone and plenty of Comet to last years. "Who are you?" he asked stunned, his mouth hanging open in shock at her new appearance.
"I'm Marian Sue," she replied huskily and took steps towards him drawing very close, "and I will die right where I stand if you do not put your lips to mine." Robin placed his hand on her neck and started passionately kissing her (YES FLUFF CLUB HE'S KISSING A HISS EVIL NASTY MARIAN SUE, ICK ICK). This continued for a very long, and disgusting time, did I mention who he was kissing, oh yeah I did, well you really don't want me to describe that filthy slimy slug kissing Robin, do you? I didn't think so.
Finally, Marian Sue stopped engaging in their passionate PDA, looked Robin in the eyes, and said, "Robin let me say this honestly, you're handsome, I'm absolutely beautiful and we'll make gorgeous children. Let's get married, before the Fluff club gets you before I do," she said but muttering the last tiny bit.
"Alright," he answered immediately, love-struck by her godly attractiveness. Together they strode through the forest, Marian Sue casting nervous looks behind her to make sure no one, cough, fluff club, cough was following her.
Meanwhile...
A group of screaming girls ran into the clearing where Robin and Marian Sue had just stood.
"She was HERE!" Black Pixie and Dragonfirechick screech together, "We know IT! Look here! It's her EYELASH!" they shouted excitedly, holding up a barely visible long eyelash that was found on the ground next to one of the piles of Comet. "It matches her DNA," they shout excitedly, quickly sliding it on a piece of glass under the tiny microscope.
"Hmm, hmm, what's this?" Sugarsprite asks, scooping up a pile of Comet. "Looks like Marian Sue has been doing some Powder puff work, her 'saving the world and extremely hot men' escapades again."
"And no doubt she was saving Robin!" Lyra Monroe says crossly, examing the two pairs of footprints leading off, one indeed matching to be Robin's.
"WE could have been here!" Outlaw Eris shouts angrily. "WE could have saved him. If it wasn't for that filthy, disgusting, wretched, PERFECT Marian Sue."
"She always has to be everywhere," Enchantressofthestars murmurs, "She's always right ahead of our tracks."
"We HAVE to do something!" the Midnight's Magic yells.
"YEAH! We can't let HER have him!" Rebecca shouts, drawing emphasis on the word 'her.'
"Well, what are we waiting for?" Mianne screams, throwing her arms in the air to gather all attention, "We can't waste all day, after her fluffers! We can't let her get away with Robin!" All of the fluff club cackles evilly and rubs their hands together in anticipation of the chase and hopefully capture that will soon follow of the...bum Ba BUM... Marian Sue HISS.
Note: Sorry about turning Robin into sort of a wimp boy toy. The temptation was too hard. You all know of course he is sexy, and COURAGEOUS and would never let a woman be better then him, as it is in this case by the evil Marian Sue saving him. Much apologies and pardon the grammar, punctuation mistakes ect. I did this in maybe a little bit of a rush and that's sadly not my forte anyway.