Man, don't even ask me where this one came from. The mind is an odd, odd thing.

As ever, Drakken and Shego are copyright Disney. I derive no profit from this work.

Decision '08

Drakken sat on the couch in his blue pinstriped pajamas, glaring at the mammoth plasma screen and rapidly clicking the remote.

Click

"Nope…"

Click

"No."

Click

"Seen that."

Click

"That too."

Click – and the Evil Eye for the Bad Guy logo popped onto the screen.

"Ugh – been there, done that." Drakken shuddered with the memory.

"Enough with the clicking!" grumped Shego, emerging from the kitchenette with a bowl of popcorn. "Just put in the DVD already."

Drakken grimaced and looked suddenly abashed. "Uh, yes, well, Shego, I guess there's been another little mix-up of our WebFilm queues…"

"Again?" Shego sighed. "They sent one of yours instead of one of mine?" She strode over to the side table, set down the popcorn, and picked up the familiar red DVD envelope to examine it.

Drakken watched her helplessly.

Her eyes rose from the envelope and found his. One jet-black eyebrow rose above one emerald orb, and the corner of her mouth turned up in a little smile.

"Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory? God, Dr. D, sometimes you are too cute for words."

"Ngghh! What?" He crossed his arms in a huff. "It's a classic! Wilder's portrayal of Wonka is brilliant! Why, he's a single psychotic break from supervillainy! Fabulous inventions, citizens held in thrall, uniformed henchmen –"

"Henchmen?" Shego looked puzzled for a moment, then fixed Drakken with a piercing stare. "The Oompa-loompas? You have got to be kidding me."

Drakken waved a single finger at her. "Ah-ah-ah, Shego! This was very inspirational to me as a young boy…the scene where he takes them on the riverboat into that darkened tunnel…it was terrifying..." He shivered, then, eyes closed, began reciting in a low, sing-song voice, "There's no earthly way of knowing… which direction we are going… is it raining, is it snowing…"

Drakken's singing trailed off into a low hum, a wistful smile on his face.

Then he stopped, and the smile vanished as he remembered where he was. He opened one eye to find Shego still staring.

He cleared his throat.

"Anyway…I suppose you won't want to watch it," he said, resignedly.

"Got that right, Doc. I go to the movies to escape. I wanna see a mad scientist surrounded by goofy inventions, all I've gotta do is look around." She paused. "Make me a river of chocolate, we'll talk. Now, give me the remote."

"What? No! It's mine! I had it first!"

"Doc." Shego began in a quiet, calm voice. "What have we learned from our past efforts to watch TV together?"

"Umm… you don't like it when I keep flipping around?"

"That's right. And what happens then?"

"…" Drakken tugged at his collar.

"Yes, I get annoyed." She lit up one hand for emphasis. "So just gimme the clicker and we can avoid all the unpleasantness."

Drakken grudgingly handed her the remote and immediately swiped the bowl of popcorn off of the side table, clutching it in his lap and hunching over it, looking for all the world like a 3-year old who has just been asked to share his favorite toy.

Shego sighed and plopped herself down on the couch next to him. "Ok, what's on…"

She flipped through a half-dozen channels. "Oooh! It's the debate!"

"What?" Drakken looked up in surprise. "Is it an election year already? My, how time does fly…"

"Shhh," shushed Shego. "I wanna hear." She turned up the volume.

"Oh, come now, Shego. You would forego Willy Wonka in order to watch these two wannabes jabbering at each other? Surely there's something else on. Like Law and Order – that's never not on, somewhere…"

Shego shushed him again, intent on the screen.

Drakken tried to watch but simply could not stay engaged.

"Seriously, Shego. How can you watch this? That one – what's his name? Always so…so crotchety. And technologically illiterate! How's he going to face down a plasma cannon?" He paused and scratched his chin. "You know, maybe that's a good thing. He's got my vote! Ha!

"And the other one, whosisface," he continued with a sneer. "Just some punk kid - what does he know about anything? Why, neither of them would make a halfway decent evil overlord, I'll tell you that."

He crossed his arms and glared at the screen. Then he suddenly set the popcorn bowl aside and stood.

Shego glanced up at him. "What's up, Doc? Where ya going?"

Drakken looked at her determinedly. "I've got some take-over-the-world scheming to do, Shego. After all," and he pointed to the screen, "with choices like that – I practically owe it to my fellow man…"

Please don't flame me! I've got strong feelings in favor of a particular candidate, but tried to be an equal-opportunity offender of both candidates for the sake of the gag line…and I'm feeling a little conflicted about it!

Oh, and a profound thank you to CajunBear73 and Jason Barnett, who noticed that I had inadvertently referred to "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" (the charmless 2005 remake starring Johnny Depp) when I meant, of course, the 1971 "Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" starring Gene Wilder.