Dagger ran down the path, throwing her crown on the floor hitting a man in the head. She ran up and hugged Zidane. "How did you get back?"

"I had to get back. I had to see you." Zidane said smiling.

Her face went blank. "What the fuck kind of answer is that?" She slapped him and ran back up, taking a moment to pull her crown out of the man's skull.

"Well damn."

*** *** ***

"What are you going to do?" Vivi asked, two kids sitting on each of his knees, another wrapped around his neck, and two more taped to his back. One started crying. "Shut the fuck up!" He screamed and took a shot of vodka. "Another shot." He yelled to the barkeep.

Zidane's mouth was wide. "Uh, well I don't know Vivi. I guess I'll try and talk to her."

"Yea that's a good idea, just don't fuck her."

"You know you've really changed."

"Daddy, I'm upside down."

"Pretend you're on a roller coaster!" Vivi yelled. "Yea well we've all changed. After you quote unquote died, your pretty little queen became a speedball junkie."

"What?" Zidane was shocked. "Wow. Hey I was wondering something, what do you look like without your hat on?"

Zidane reached over and pulled a hat off of one of the mini Vivi's and screamed as he saw the face of Freya underneath it. "Good god mother of jesus!" he screamed. "Is that what you look like?"

"No, I got drunk one, or ten nights and knocked up Freya, half of em came out looking like her and the other half like me."

"Well what do you look like?"

Vivi pulled his hat back and Zidane's face went white. He whimpered a little and fell off his chair. "Yea." Vivi said taking another shot and yelling at one of the kid's to shut up. "Well I've got to go, Freya's got custody. Thank god."

*** *** ***

After changing his pants Zidane left the bar and headed for the castle to see Dagger. The guards were playing patty cake and didn't notice him enter or head up to the throne room. Zidane opened the door to see Dagger there sniffing glue.

"What the fuck dagger?" Zidane asked, then gasped and ducked as a dagger flew over his head. "What the fuck dagger?" Zidane was forced to duck again as another dagger flew over his head. "Ok dagger. (Duck) I know you're mad at me but this is no way to go about it."

"Juju mama dragmum." Dagger replied. "Cuvspher bum bum boom."

"Um, ok. Dagger (duck) Stop doing that dagger!" He ducked yet again and the door behind him fell over from being hit with daggers.

"Don't call her that." Zidane gasped to see Steiner walk in.

"Call her what Rusty?"

"Don't call the Princess…."

"Queen." Piped in Beatrix.

"Queen that name."

"What name?"

"The name you just called her."

"What?"

"Dagger!" Steiner sighed as a dagger flew into his armor. He pulled it out. "Damn you monkey." He threw it at Zidane who ducked under it.

"Why can't I call her Dagger?" Ducked again.

"Because the Princess…."

"Queen."

"Queen is a dope fiend now, and she really thinks your asking for a dagger." Another dagger hit Steiner's armor. "Damn it."

"Wow, then it's really gotten bad." Zidane walked over and patted Dagger's head. She purred. Zidane got a weird look on his face and glared at Steiner who shrugged, he removed his hand from her head, and she hissed, so he put it back on.

"Mraab! Mraab!" Dagger cried out.

"What?"

"The princess."

"Queen."

"Queen wants you to rub her head." Steiner finished. He smiled at Beatrix.

Zidane rolled his eyes and began rubbing Dagger's head. She purred again. "We have to do something to get her off of these drugs Rusty."

Amarant walked in. "Hey Dagger!" He grabbed the dagger that was thrown at him and threw it back, Zidane ducked under it. "Hah, I love that!"

"Amarant?" Zidane was skeptic. "What's that?" He pointed to the little joint Amarant held.

"Its pot dude, lighten up."

"What I didn't even say…."

"Anyway, what's up Rusty, But-tricks?"

"That's Beatrix." Steiner said smiling. Amarant laughed hysterically falling on the floor.

"Ok what the fuck is going on here?" Zidane asked. "Has the world gone crazy?"

"Well after the princess…."

"Queen."

"Queen started on the drugs, the entire kingdom just stopped caring."

"All because of me?"

"Yesthatsrightzidaneheyitsnicetoseeyouwherehaveyoubeenmanimissedyoureallybadmanimeanreallywherehaveyoubeenireallymissedyouweallthoughtyouweredeadwhathappeneddowntheremandidyousavethatdudeiforgethisnameohwhatwashisnamedonttellmedonttellmeillfigureitoutiknowitiknowitkujarightyeakujawhathappenedtokujahewasanokguyeventhoughhetriedtokillusallanddestroytheplanet." Zidane gasped and turned around to see Quina.

"What the fuck Quina? Where the fuck did you come from?" He gasped looking him up and down; he couldn't weigh more then 100 pounds. "Rusty?" He said turning back to Steiner.

"Oh, well unlike the princess…."

"Queen."

"Queen, Quina here took a liking to the coca plant. He hasn't eaten once since you died."

"I didn't die! Jesus Christ I was gone for two days, you didn't even wait for me to come back?"

"WellwefiguredyouweredeadImeanlookatwhatyoudidthatswhatalwayshappensImeanhowcouldyousurvivethatwealljustthoughtyouweredeadImeanwaitasecwhatwasIsayingohyeawethoughtyouweredeadandthequeengavemethiswhitepowderatfirstIthoughtIwassupposedtoeatitbutshetoldmetoputitupmynoseandIwaslikeyouarecrazydagger(DUCK)andshethrewadaggeratme(DUCK)andIwaslikewhatthefuckdagger(DUCK)andshethrewanotheroneatmesoIwaslikewhatthefuckDagger(DUCK)andthensteinercameinandsaiddontcalltheprincessthenbeatrixsaidqueenthensteinersaidqueenthatandIsaiddontcallherwhatandhesaidwhatIjustcalledherandIsaidwhatandhesaidDagger(DUCK)andshethewadagger(DUCK)athimandthenhethrewitatmeandthenisniffedthepowderthenifeltgoodandijustkeptsniffingthepowderitisgreatheydoyouwanttosniffsomepowder?"

"Uh, no thanks." Zidane said. He looked at Dagger and gasped, pulling the needle from her hand. She barked at him. He looked at Steiner with bewilderment and he shrugged again. "No more heroin!" He said to Dagger, picking up a newspaper and hitting her in the nose with it.

Amarant stood up. "Holy shit! Quina my nigga, what's up!" He took a cigar out of his back pocket, with little green plants sticking out of the ends and lit up. "Oh yea that's the stuff." After five more puffs he fell back down and fell asleep.

"He's going to start a fire." Zidane said pointing at the lit cigar.

"Oh don't worry about it." Steiner said. "The princess…."

"Queen."

"Queen has personal bodyguards." He paused, smiling at Beatrix. "CID!!!" he yelled.

In came hopping a miniature version of queen Brahne.

Zidane was shocked yet again as the fat little thing stomped out the fire. It looked up at Zidane. "Don't ask." It said hopping out of the room. "Take care of Dagger." He squeaked as a dagger went through his body.

"Sweet merciful Christ! She killed him! Can't someone take those away from her?"

"Well we tried, but we don't know where she keeps them." Steiner said.

Zidane sighed and gasped, pulling a needle out from Dagger's arm. "Goddamn it no more heroin!"

"Bruuum dackarito mabaduun." Dagger screamed.

Zidane rolled his eyes and turned back to Quina. He was running around in circles, apparently trying to chase his shadow. He opened his mouth to say something and turned back to Steiner. "Are you the only one who is normal around here?" He smiled and pointed to dagger. "Goddamn it no more heroin!" Zidane screamed grabbing a needle out of Dagger's ass. "Where does she keep getting all of these?"

"We aren't sure but it's probably the same place she keeps the daggers (DUCK)." Steiner chuckled. "The princess…."

"Queen."

"Queen is a sneaky one."

"Ok this isn't possible!" Zidane cried out shaking his head. "How can this be?"

"Well it's all because you died Zidane."

"I didn't die!" Zidane yelled. He sighed and grabbed another needle out of Dagger's mouth. "What the fucks are you thinking?" He paused looking at the brown liquid in the needle. "Oh fuck it." He inserted the needle into his vein and pushed.

*** *** ***

"Zidane!" Zidane shook his head to see Dagger crying from the airship taking off. He shook his head around, what the fuck had happened. He looked back towards the tree of Iifa where Kuja was inside screaming for help.

He looked back at the ship. "Oh fuck it." He ran after it and grabbed onto the ladder climbing up.

"You came back!" Dagger said smiling.

"Yea, well….I just had a bad feeling about going down there Garnet."

"Yeah me too,  I'm so glad you didn't die, now we can be together. Oh and call me Dagger."

Zidane paused. "I'd rather not."