This is my first R rated fic, although I don't think there's too much to rate it R... yeah, they do have sex here... but I tried focusing on their feelings more than in their actions...
I just hope you like it and remember they don't belong to me :(
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TAKE ME
AWAY
She was so mad at him. How could he even think he didn't mean as
much to her as the others did? He probably was the most
important person in her life, if it wasn't for Emma, of course…
There were stronger reasons. He needed to know. So she run
across the street to yell at him, all she wanted to do was punch
him for not knowing her at all, for yelling at her and for not
trying to understand her. He never tried to understand her. He
never saw things from her point of view, he hadn't changed a bit
in 10 years.
She entered to his apartment slamming the door.
He was sitting in the couch and quickly turned around to see who
had came in. When he saw her he stood up. He was still feeling
so hurt, so left out, so ignored by her. He had only loved her,
supported her and being there for her all this time, and she
hadn't even said a freaking goodbye… how hard could that be? It
was clear that it was hard for him, but for her? It should be a
piece of cake, he thought, she was the one leaving.
"You really think I didn't say goodbye to you 'cause I don't
care?" she asked him, her voice filled with emotions
"That's what it seemed like"
"I can't believe that after 10 years you do not know ONE thing
about me!" she replied. She was so mad, so sad and so hurt by
his reaction
"FINE! Then why didn't you say something" Ross was trying really
hard to understand what was going through Rachel's mind
"Because it is too DAMN hard Ross!" She finally said "I can't
even begin to explain to you how much I'm gonna miss you" he
needed to know, he needed to understand how she felt. She couldn't
leave things like this between them. Not this time. "When I
think about not seeing you everyday it makes me not want to go!!"
she added. Her voice was cracking and she was barely fighting
back the tears.
Ross was speechless. He just stood there watching her bare her
heart at him. He felt so dumb. If it was hard for him to let her
go, it must have been just has hard for her to just go. He knew
life without her was going to be twice as hard, but at least
he'd be staying here.
He wanted to hug her, kiss her and tell her everything was going
to be ok. He wanted to ask her to forgive him. He wanted to tell
her to shut up, he knew what she was feeling, 'cause he was
feeling it too… and seeing her cry was killing him. He wanted to
protect her. Haunt all her fears away. Save her from all her
doubts. Assure her everything was going to turn out alright. But
he couldn't. Not even him knew how life was going to be without
her. He didn't know how was he going to get up every morning
from bed knowing he won't be seeing her, talking to her or just
having a lame argument over anything, like they did every day.
"Ok? So if you think that… that I didn't say goodbye to you
cause you don't mean as much for me as everybody else… you're
wrong… it's because you mean more to me!" she added pocking him
on the shoulder. "So there, alright!? There's your goodbye" she
finally yelled at him before turning round to leave his
apartment. Nothing he could tell her could make her feel better.
He knew it. There were just no words.
"Rach!" he called her out
"What?!" all she wanted was to get the hell out of there.
Admitting to him what she had been feeling since she took the
decision of moving to Paris just hurt too much.
"You can't… you can't… you can't…!" he yelled without being able
to find the words. He couldn't believe she had just told him
that and now she was leaving. Once again she was leaving him
without any closure. There was only one thing he could do.
"What?!" she yelled back at him
He looked at her for a few seconds and just couldn't help it. It
was the best way to show her how he felt after all she had said.
She had taken over all the words he could use to tell her how
much she meant to him. And since he wasn't very good with words
when it came to his feelings, he just let himself go. After
being holding himself together for such a long time kissing her
was the biggest relieve ever.
Ross put all his emotions into that one kiss. His pain, his
sadness, his anger. Everything held in one quick motion. However,
she kissed him back.
Rachel broke the kiss and looked at him for a while, her mind
still processing what had just happened. He didn't look at her,
probably he was too ashamed, probably he thought she was going
to yell at him again. Probably he didn't imagine what was going
through her head and through her heart. The truth was, she was
glad he had kissed her. She missed his kisses so much.
Rachel took his face with her hands and kissed him again. She
wanted him, she needed him, she didn't want to let that moment
go.
This second kiss grew deeper and deeper as they held each other
really close, tasting each other's lips, feeling each other's
breath, hearing each other's hearts
All the pain I thought I knew
All my thoughts lead back to you
Back to what was never said
Back and forth inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable; come and take me away
Rachel broke once again the kiss. She looked at him in the eyes and smiled. He smiled back. This always felt so right, they both thought. They belonged together, they knew it. Their lips fitted each other's so well, his body was the perfect size to hold her and hers was the perfect size to be held by him. Merged on a melting hug they resumed their kiss, this time even more passionate and more filled with desire than they had probably felt in their entire lifes.
Slowly his lips weren't kissing hers anymore. They were all over her neck, her chicks and her nose. He loved her nose. She loved his lips.
Their hands run through all over their bodies. Hers moved from his face, to his hair, to his back, to end up on his butt. His followed basically the same path, although he wasn't sure about placing his hands on her butt until she did it first.
Ross was very aware of his movements. He was nervous. It wasn't just the fact that he hadn't had sex in months, it was the fact that it was her. She always made him nervous, she always made him feel inadequate, she always made him want to try the hardest. She always made him want to please her more than he wanted to be pleased. She always made him want to love her all life long.
"We… should…" he said breathing heavily
"Yeah we should" she said with her head pressing against his and her eyes closed. Not wanting to wake up if this was a dream, not wanting to face reality, just enjoying this intimate moment she was sharing with him.
They headed to Ross' bedroom kissing passionately as she unbuttoned his shirt and he tried to take off her t-shirt.
Suddenly it hit her. She was leaving the next day. She couldn't do this to him. She couldn't do this to herself
"Wait… wait… should we be doing this?" she asked breaking one of the most intense kisses she had shared in her entire life
"I… I don't know" he answered. Somehow feeling disappointed
"Is probably not a very good idea". Rachel was trying hard to convince herself. She knew they shouldn't do it, but she couldn't help but want it
"Yeah, probably not" he said looking down and trying to take his mind off what could have happened if they hadn't stopped.
They both avoided eye contact for few seconds, not knowing what to do next, opting for sanity and just leave it at that or going with their instincts.
They had to be rational, they needed to be rational. But Rachel was so tired of been rational. "That never stopped us before!" she said
"No sir!!" replied joyful Ross as they resumed kissing and they fell to the bed.
They were already there. She was on top of him working her way with the buttons of his shirt as he continued lifting up her t-shirt to feel her soft skin against his hands.
After she was done with the buttons of his shirt she started kissing his chest, she had always loved his chest, his tan color and his marked muscles. He was so sexy. The smell of his skin brought back so many buried memories she had kept hidden somewhere inside her mind. The many nights they had shared together, all the passion, all the love, all the caresses and all the kisses melted into one smell, into one sensation, into one moment.
She wanted him so much, and couldn't help but laugh when she realized he had been having troubles with her t-shirt. She already had him half naked and she was still fully dressed. "Need some help?" she said sitting up and taking off her shirt. He smiled at her as he watched her strip in front of him, which only could turned him on even more. He also sat and they locked their lips one more time feeling each other's tongues and each other's hands in their skin.
Ross unhooked her bra and she took off his belt.
She broke the kiss once again to laid on the bed as she put him on top of her. Just seeing him there smiling at her, his eyes shinning and his face lighted gave Rachel the feeling of doing the right thing. Being with him had always being the right thing. He had always made her feel secure, safe and loved. He had always made her feel she was worth it. He had always made her feel special. Specially in moments like this when he contemplate her like she was the biggest miracle ever, when the truth was the biggest miracle was that look on his face, that smile, that light.
He started kissing her neck and she let out a moan. He knew she liked to be kissed on the neck. He knew all the places she liked to be kissed. He knew her so well. While he was holding himself with one arm not to fall completely on top of her, always worried that could hurt her, with his other hand he was working his way with her skirt. He had to get it done this time, the skirt wasn't that hard. Once he found the zipper, as she lift up her body to help him out, the skirt stopped being a problem, now she was practically naked lying on under of him and he felt like his pants were killing him. She loved to put him through this misery. This was typical Rachel. She had never took off his clothe completely until she was fully naked. She knew that only made him wanting her more and she loved to be wanted. He loved to want her anyway.
He reached out for the zipper of his pants as he kissed her neck, her shoulders and the valley between her breast. She let out another moan, a bigger one this time, as she stopped him, putting her right hand where he had his. He looked at her and she looked back. He knew what that looked meant. That was her job. So he let her do her way. He took off the hands from his zipper and went back to kissing her, his free hand now resting on her breast as he looked for her mouth once again.
As a mechanical act, Rachel unzipped Ross' pants and took them off. She couldn't wait any longer. As fast as his pants were off also were his boxers. He broke off the kiss just to reach out for the condom. She smiled. He was always caring like that, it didn't matter how heated up the moment was, he was always worried they use protection, even when she forgot about it like this time.
Once he was ready he climbed on top of her again and resume the kissing. Now there was only one thing between them. Her panties. "Come on Ross!" she begged.
He couldn't help but smile as he placed his hands on her thigh, making her moan once again. Slowly he got rid of her underwear and he contemplated her before they started making love. With them it wasn't only sex, it was always only love. They both knew it, but neither of them said it, there was no need to. As many other things in their relationship, it was implicit.
He saw how beautiful she was, he hadn't forgotten, but he constantly fought with the image of her in his head telling himself she couldn't be that perfect. But she was. Her golden hair. Her tan body. Pregnancy hadn't left a single mark on her, and if it was possible, she was even more perfect than the last time they had been together almost 2 years ago.
He stared at her in a daze probably for too long. "Is there something wrong?" she asked, intrigued by the look on his face. Wondering what was going through his mind on a moment like this.
"Nothing… nothing, there's nothing wrong sweety. Is just that I didn't remember you were this beautiful" he whisper into her ear making Rachel's heart skip a beat, if it was still beating, of course. Not only he had called her 'sweety', he had also called her beautiful. She looked at him in the eyes and saw them shinning once again. She knew he meant it. So she kissed him once again, giving herself to him. Allowing himself to make her his once again, wanting to feel his once again.
She stroke his arms and felt the muscles of his back while he traveled down her body. She didn't know how much longer of longing would she be able to take, but just feeling his touch was enough to enjoy the moment. She had now realized what had happened a few months ago at her father's house when he went with her to Long Island. That night she thought it would be just about sex. She thought she only wanted to have sex 'cause she felt down. The truth was, she wanted this, she wanted him, she wanted to feel complete, secure and loved. She wanted to feel the way he made her feel when he made love to her. She needed him, just like she needed him now, just like she probably will need him for the rest of her life. When she was with him there was no fear, no pain, no doubts. The world was perfect. He was perfect. They were perfect.
Ross stopped the kissing as she did, just to stare at her one more time. It was time.
She closed her eyes just to feel him inside her. He closed them too, fighting for not hurt her, just to make her feel pleased. Fighting with himself too for not letting it go too fast, for making it last… not only cause he didn't want to feel embarrassed but also cause he didn't want this moment to end. When he was with her he felt complete, he felt omnipotent and almighty. She made him feel on the top of the world, she made him feel immortal.
She opened her eyes just to see how he was doing, it was really hard for her to think about something else, but she was always worried he was enjoying this as much as she was. As she opened her eyes she caught him eying her. She smiled. He smiled. With his thumb he traced the lines of her face and kissed her forehead.
"Are you ok?" he asked slowly and softly, trying not to break the glorious silence that ruled the room
"Amazingly" she managed to answer. He always asked her how she was during the act. No other guy had ever asked her that. It made her feel like he cared. She loved it when he cared. He always cared. She wrapped her legs around his weight in sign to keep on going. She didn't want him to stop. She moaned more and so did he as their breathing became one and their movements made them look like just one person. Their bodies just fitted, it was so amazing.
He tasted her sweats, she smelled his. So many memories, so many feelings, so many encounters. Just one taste. Just one act. Just one love.
They both knew their way around each other's bodies perfectly, they knew each other like no one else did. That was why he made her feel things no one else could, that was why she made him archive goals he normally didn't.
She placed her arms around his neck as she felt his free hand resting on her waist. She opened her eyes once again and reach out for his hand. He opened his eyes when he felt her linking her fingers with his as a symbol of what was happening that very same moment. They were linked, they were attached to each other, and no on a physical way, they were linked by their souls. No matter where she was, no matter what he did, they belonged to each other and no one ever was going to be able to change or deny that. He catched the message as he lifted up their hands to reach out for his lips. He kissed her hand before kissing her forehead, then her nose and finally her lips.
When they both knew it was going to be over soon they opened their eyes and smiled to each other once again. There was no need for words, they could have only perturbed such a sacred moment like this. Ross pulled himself up and just looked at her face for what could have been forever. It was all he had done that night, looking, kissing and loving. She responded at that stare by kissing him once again.
He laid on his back right next to her and she folded her arms around his chest. 'Cuddly sleepers' remembered Ross with a smile as she placed her head on top of his chest. He placed his left hand on her back caressing it tenderly.
She shivered, but not for his touch, she hadn't realized how cold that night was.
"I'm cold" she said pressing herself closer to him so he could wrap her with his arms. He reach out for the covers of his bed and wrapped them around her body.
"There?" he asked looking into her eyes
"Yeah, thank you" she answered with a smile as she closed her eyes
"You're welcome sweety" he said "you're welcome"
And that way they drifted into a peaceful sleep, dreaming of what could be ahead of them. Not thinking about being apart, not thinking about Paris, not thinking about facing the next day. Just enjoying being in each others arms. Loving and feeling loved. Feeling complete for one last time.
Baby forgive me
Cause I got nothing left to hide
Don't ever leave me
Cause there'll be nothing left inside