Disclaimer: Supernatural and its characters are the property of Eric Kripke. Sadly, I do not own any of these guys.
A/N: This was written for Unattainable Dreams' May Prompt Exchange Challenge. The prompt was: "When the world falls into pieces you'll be the one voice of reason. When I can't face all my demons, you are the one I believe in," from the song "Queen of Hearts" by We the Kings [Sent by ImpalaLove].
When the world falls into pieces you'll be the one voice of reason.
When I can't face all my demons, you are the one I believe in
Through the thunder and the rain, together we fall together we fly away.
Hold me closely, you are my one and only.
"Queen of Hearts" - We the Kings
"Dean! Dean, stop this."
Dean could hear Castiel speaking right beside him while he and Sam both held him by the arms, the angel's voice confusingly calm despite the fact that Dean had just tried to slay one of the Heavenly Host right in front of him – had already killed more of them back at what used to be Cas's base of operations. Cas was still quiet and controlled, still sounded like he cared about his human companion despite the fact that Dean had just ruined his entire plan of action against Metatron. Despite the fact that Dean, and Dean alone, had driven every last angel that had been loyal to Castiel over to the side of the very enemy they were trying to take down.
But none of that registered right now in his scrambled mind, which had only one coherent thought screaming at the surface over and over again: Kill. Kill. Kill! KILL!
Dean snarled and writhed against the hands restraining him, his hand tightening around the hilt of the First Blade as it shuddered with an unquenchable lust for the blood of the wounded angel sitting only a few feet from them. He could feel Sam and Cas's hands tightening even more, and he bucked wildly against their holds, trying to pull away from the accursed hands keeping him from his prize. When they didn't relent, he suddenly stilled, a deadly calm building inside of him as he realized exactly what he needed to do to free himself.
"Let. Me. Go…" he growled, an animalistic sound that the real Dean would have been horrified to hear himself make.
"Gadreel. Run," Sam said softly, his eyes widening as his brother stiffened in his grip. The angel nodded, disappearing with a quiet rustle of feathers, and something inside of Dean snapped at seeing his prey escape.
"AAARAAAAAGH!" he roared, wrenching himself out of Sam and Castiel's grips and turning on them with the blade clenched in his fist. "You sons of bitches! You let him escape! I'll tear you limb from limb for that!"
"Dean. Put the blade down," Sam said quietly, his eyes widening as the older Winchester raised the weapon and advanced a step toward him. "Dean. Dean! Drop the –"
Sam barely had time to duck and leap out of the way as Dean flung himself at him, swinging the blade in a horizontal arc that would have decapitated him had he not moved a second sooner. The forward momentum sent Dean stumbling to his knees, and Castiel pounced on him an instant later, knocking the blade from his hands and kicking it far away before twisting both of his arms behind his back.
"Sam," the angel said calmly, not even breathing harder for having to hold the crazed, struggling hunter to the ground while he spoke. "Take the First Blade away from here. I'll calm him down."
"Yeah. Okay," Sam agreed breathlessly, hurriedly snatching up the blade and wrapping it in cloth as he jogged from the room into some part of the bunker neither Dean nor Castiel could see.
Castiel sat still for several more seconds, most of his weight on Dean's back as he straddled him and kept his arms pinned almost to his shoulder blades – any higher and they probably would have been dislocated. But even though he felt remorse for causing Dean pain, he knew it was a necessary evil. Pain, at least, might help tether him to the here and now where he belonged.
A few moments more, and Castiel was startled to feel Dean start to tremble beneath him. Worried that he was actually starting to hurt him, the angel moved to sit beside the hunter instead, slightly alarmed when he didn't make any move to rise but continued to lie still, face-down and shoulders hitching unevenly with every breath.
"Dean?" Cas asked softly, placing a hand on his friend's back. When Dean finally turned and looked at him, the angel felt terrible to see the streams of tears dripping from his eyes.
"Cas, I-I… I'm sorry…" Dean choked out, gripping Cas's trenchcoat tightly as they both slowly rose to their feet; right now it was the only thing keeping his right hand from shaking without the blade to steady it. He stared at Castiel with desperate, wild eyes, his entire body still quivering as he leaned on the angel for support. "I don't know what happened… You have to believe me, I didn't mean to –" And then Dean's eyes widened, his face losing even more color as he stared down the hallway where Sam had disappeared. "Oh my god, Sammy! Is he –"
"Sam is alright, Dean. You didn't hurt him," Cas answered, smiling sadly at the sheer relief that crossed Dean's face at that piece of good news. When had things between the Winchesters gotten so bad?
"This has gotten out of hand, hasn't it?" Dean said, more a statement than a question.
"Yes, it has. Dean, you have to stop this now. The blade, it's changing you into someone I don't recognize anymore."
Dean laughed bitterly, shaking his head and backing away from Castiel. "You and me both, Cas. But it's too late for that now. I'm all we've got if we want to take down Metatron. You gave up your entire army for me, remember?" He snorted derisively, staring down at the Mark on his arm with disgust. "Some plan that was. Maybe you should've just let them kill me."
Dean barely had time to register Castiel touching him before he was slammed up against the wall, Cas's hands working their way through his hair as he forcefully, desperately pressed their lips together. It was brief, but when they pulled apart Cas's eyes were fiery and filled with anger.
"Don't ever say that to me again, Dean Winchester," he growled, tightening his grip on the hunter's shoulders so much it was actually kind of painful. "I gave my army for you because I value you more than I will ever value any of them. And given the choice, I would do it again a thousand times over. Don't ever think I would have given you up so easily."
"Why do you keep doing so much for me, huh?" Dean asked. "What good am I to you like this? What good am I to Sam?"
"The same could have been said for me on more than one occasion, Dean," Castiel said firmly, not needing to name aloud the many times the angel had made mistakes that almost cost the Winchesters their lives. "And every time, you chose to stay by me. Every time, you told me you needed me, that we were family. Well I need you now, Dean. I won't abandon you just because you had a moment of weakness. That isn't how family works."
Dean gulped, feeling more tears threatening to break free as he hid his face against Castiel's collarbone and breathed in the comforting scent of the angel who had always given him more love than he deserved. "I'm scared, Cas."
"I am too, Dean." Castiel wrapped his arms around the hunter, for the first time in a long time being the one to offer Dean comfort instead of receiving it. "But like you always say, we'll figure it out. Whether we fall or we fly, we'll do it together. I have faith in you."
He only hoped that unwavering faith wouldn't lead them both to ruin.