Brave
He wasn't saying anything. Something was wrong. She knew it would be a gamble. The notion that they could actually be "just friends" was too much.
When had she become so engrossed in whatever he did? When did his face morph into something that was him but not at the same time? Was it that he changed or was it that she did? When did she fall in love with him, …he wasn't supposed to be the one. He was her friend. One whom she could depend on, one whom she didn't need words to describe how pathetic and depressed she was without seeming too. …Weak.
She allowed herself to be weak in front of him, sad when she couldn't pretend to be anything less than that. It was intentional. She had done that on purpose. Being weak in front of him in its own sick way guaranteed that she didn't have to try hard to be perfect for him because he was no threat to her feelings but now…things had changed.
Things were different.
Slowly he took her hand into his. The black ink of his tattoos rising up to his forearm made it impossible to see anything but him. But not for her. She could always see who he was.
Not back then, but it seemed she had become super conscious of him wherever they went. He was Renji.
She lifted her head, the length of her bangs brushing her face in an attempt to hide. She didn't want to see his eyes or make eye contact.
If he could see, then she would know. She wasn't ready for the truth.
But now she could feel her heart beating fast. How the clock seemed to echo so loudly in the room as if it was synchronizing with her heart. All she could feel was the warmth of his hands. His hand was so rough but smooth all at once. She never thought that this would be the moment when she decided that she needed to stop herself from self-torment. Stop herself into thinking that this was "good enough". That happiness was limited to certain moments. But she needed to stop herself before it was too late. She was allowed to be happy.
"Rukia" he whispered. She could feel the trepidation in his voice. Renji was always sure of himself. But he sounded different now.
"You dummy, Isn't this what I've been trying at this whole time". He brushes back the silky red tendril of his hair embarrassed.
"I love you, you know". This time he says it with an intensity she is only starting to realize.
Her face scrunches up in the uncanny way.
He cups her face and brings his lips towards her. She breathes him in. "So what do you say to that", he asks. Although she knows that he doesn't need an answer.
He doesn't let her answer. He knew all along. She was the only one who didn't know. It was always for her. It wasn't too late after all.