A/N: Oh my, what's this? The same pairing from me again? I must be settling down in my old age. :D
While I liked Ten of Swords, my muses didn't feel they were done with this pairing yet, and so this story is sort of a prequel to that. Dedicated to Quillslinger, for being awesome and my wifey and putting the idea in my head in the first place. ILU much, Mai.
Enjoy!
Eia
PS- title means 'don't lose.'
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Makenai
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ten of cups: pushing upward. Stones push up from the surging sea. An ancient rock has a dark hole at its center, signifying mystery.
The black dirt is fertile.
Let no one ever say it was easy.
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When it began, it was as a game. They eventually started calling it Good Morning, because they could be silly and immature with each other like that.
Kurogane admitted that it was probably his fault that it began, but he had not apologized for anything in years and was not about to start there. Fye would have been only too happy to take the blame but for Kurogane's sense of honour.
It was like this-- one morning, in the middle of world made of mist with only clouds to stand on, Kurogane flicked Fye's forehead with his strong forefinger to wake him up. Fye leapt into the air, darts at the ready before he'd even landed, and nearly killed Kurogane on the spot.
"Good morning," Kurogane said.
"Oh," said Fye, then smiled. "Good morning to you, too."
And that was it-- the beginning.
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The next time, in a world where green seemed to be the only colour and wet was the order of the day, Fye woke up first and mercilessly hit the most sensitive spot on Kurogane's muscled side, sending him into helpless ticklish spasms until he woke up enough to swing a fist at Fye (and miss, because Fye was faster than him even when he was fully awake).
"Good morning," said Fye, beaming.
Kurogane scowled. "Drop dead, mage."
"Not yet, sorry," said Fye with an irrepressible smile, but there was suddenly a note in his voice that hadn't been there before.
Kurogane didn't know how to ask in a way that wouldn't sound concerned, and so he kept the annoyed expression plastered on his face and his arms crossed and let Fye have his silence.
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It was Kurogane's turn next.
The world this time was mostly composed of a huge network of rivers and streams, and long thin islands between them.
Being a fundamentally unsubtle person, he decided to wake Fye up by dumping a bucket of water on him. He was not expecting the barrier, much less the backlash, and thus ended up very wet and very, very disgruntled.
Fye yawned and sat up leisurely, looking curiously at the air where his barrier had been. "Hmm?"
"Good morning," Kurogane spat, wringing out his cape and stalking off towards the other end of the island.
"Good morning!" Fye called gaily after him.
Someday, he was going to kill the mage, and no one was going to stop him.
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The pastry was not bad, all things considered, despite the fact that it was being unceremoniously packed into his mouth at six in the morning by a humming blond thing sitting on his midriff.
"Fjldsasjkfdlsa!" he roared furiously.
Fye patted his cheek and shook his head. "Don't swear, Kuro-wan, it's not ladylike. I made it for you, isn't it good?"
In the end, he managed to chew it up and swallow it, and it wasn't bad considering it was full of strawberries and sugar and made his teeth feel half-rotted just by touching them. Next time, though, he vowed he'd at least manage to bite the mage's finger.
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It took him nearly two hours to braid Fye's hair. Sakura had taught him how ages ago, but Fye's hair was fine like spidersilk, slippery, and not quite long enough for it to work properly. It felt like water in his hands. The end result was a spiky head of messy, jagged, and bent things that might have been braids in another life.
"That feels nice, Kuro-pin," Fye said, completely awake and blissful. "Like a scalp massage. Thank you very much."
Despite the fact that Fye looked ridiculous with those yellow bushels jutting from his head, Kurogane still felt like he'd lost that round. He felt unsettled, and his fingers remembered the feel of that pale golden hair all day.
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He didn't notice when the game began to change, subtly, but afterwards decided that Fye knew perfectly well all along and was cheering it on from the driver's seat.
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It was very, very early in the morning, early enough that birds still slept and the sky was that peculiar shade of powder blue-violet-black that only comes two hours before sunrise.
He was, strangely, not cold, though the air in his mouth was sharp and dew-chilled. Perhaps this was because of the warm body draped across him, or perhaps it was because of the tongue in his ear.
It was doing wonders for his morning constitution, he had to admit. Even if it was a tongue-- in his ear-- that belonged to a damned annoying strawhead mage with a smile that wouldn't die.
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And then came the day when Fye's eternal smile did die, and did not come back.
The next day, after checking three times to ensure that Sakura and Syaoran were definitely still sleeping, Kurogane woke him up by pulling him roughly into his arms and crushing him half to death.
Fye made startled noises against his chest, but they were muffled enough against his black shirt that they didn't wake the others.
"Stupid, stupid mage," he muttered, mostly to himself but to Fye as well. "God-damned idiot. Do something like that again and I'll kill you, I swear it."
"Could you?" Fye whispered into his chest, not struggling at all. His hands were creeping up Kurogane's back like quiet night-vines, fingers digging into the spaces between his ribs. "Could you really? Would you?" The question was real, and the belief behind it raw and festering. The words tasted like cold stone and rotting earth and of a distance too far to cross. This was the Fye beneath the Fye, the Fye who remembered a hole in the putrid earth, and a curse he could not run from no matter how fleet his feet learned to be, and a twin he loved more than anything.
This was the Fye who would welcome death should it come knocking, and it was the Fye Kurogane wanted to save more than he wanted anything else, even more than he wanted to go home.
Kurogane paused, and for a long minute he couldn't seem to think about anything beyond the slow, steady gust of hot damp air through his shirt that meant that Fye was still breathing, still living, still there. "Die on me, mage, and I swear I'll kill you," he said at last almost softly. "I mean it."
Fye turned away so that all Kurogane could see was a black strip of cloth, a moor of pale skin, and a faintly downturned mouth. Trust Fye to make the eyepatch work to his advantage.
"It should have been me," he said, and then he said nothing more no matter how Kurogane blustered.
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The next morning, in a world with no sun and altogether too many moons, Fye woke him up by wrapping both thin artist's hands around his face and kissing him with quiet conviction.
There were several ways Kurogane could have reacted, but only one occurred to him at the moment because he was half asleep and not in possession of his full faculties.
Instead of pitching a fit and throwing Fye across the clearing like he should have done, he propped himself up on one elbow and used the other to pull Fye closer. The mage collapsed across him, unable to catch his balance with both hands still tangled in the edges of Kurogane's hair. They tumbled silently backwards through the few inches between the ground and them, and the impact was unexpectedly subdued.
Fye was not soft, or womanly, or anything like Kurogane had imagined kissing Tomoyo would be like. There were no blushes, no fragile porcelain cheeks, no hesitant lips and fingers. Instead, there was surety and strength, and Kurogane realized that this was, in so many ways, better than what he'd thought of in his dreams all this time. Fye would not break. Fye would not stammer and draw away in fear. Fye understood what Kurogane was and what his thoughts looked like, and stayed anyway.
In a minute, when he woke up completely, he would stop and pretend nothing had happened. What else could he do? It was too close to the edge, too dangerous to let it be as it wanted to be.
But right now, in the halfway light of not-quite morning, he let himself fall upwards into the arms waiting for him, let himself hold tightly to what he wanted despite the selfishness doing so.
Fye's hair still felt like water between his fingers, and his quicksilver tongue tasted like rain, but no rain Kurogane had ever stood in. A foreign downpour, born of unfamiliar clouds in a land far away from both of them. So this was Fye's home, thought Kurogane, bitter and beloved at once. He thought he understood just a little bit more about why Fye was running so desperately, and about why he was still homesick some nights when the sky above them was truly strange and had no stars to recognize.
The largest moon began to rise over the horizon south of them, and the light it cast was radiantly blue.
"Good morning," said Fye.
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It was Kurogane's turn, but as dawn drew closer he still had not decided what to do. Reverting to their childish play from before would be insulting, but continuing what had started while they were not paying attention would be madness.
This world dripped with sand and searing sunlight by day, but by night it was a surreal landscape that bewitched the eye and confused the senses, until one was unsure where the desert began and the sky ended.
Fye, he knew, liked it here. There was magic within the dunes and moonlight.
The sound of the mage's breathing was hardly loud enough to be heard, but Kurogane strained his ears to catch the soft swell and ebb, hoping to hear a clue there.
Which way? Which way was the risk greater, and which way lay the greatest reward?
Fye's hair was full of sand from when he'd curled away from his sleeping mat and dragged his head across the night-cool desert. The grains were almost the same colour as his hair, though, so it was hardly noticeable except that the crystalline fragments of stone reflected the light somewhat and made it look as though Fye's hair was spangled with muted stars.
His mouth was slightly open. Perhaps he liked the taste of the desert wind.
And just like that, it was decided. Kurogane rose from his bedroll and crossed to Fye's, not really intending anything in particular except for a nameless urge to make him understand.
Careful not be silent, he tapped Fye on the shoulder and waited for him to wake up.
"Good morning?" Fye whispered, obviously expecting the usual surprise that their game demanded.
Kurogane was going to disappoint him this time. "Good morning," he replied brusquely, and yanked Fye into his arms without asking permission or anything ridiculous like that. Then he lay them both back down, tucking Fye's head beneath his chin until his mouth and nose were full of sandy golden silk. "Go back to sleep."
Fye's hands tightened into the front of his shirt, then expanded to flatten against his stomach. A leg insinuated itself between his and curled around his calf lazily. "Fine, then," Fye said drowsily. "I will."
Kurogane spent the next hour and a half til sunrise doing nothing but breathing and pointedly not thinking.
Fye was somehow cool in his arms, though the desert should have filled him to overflowing with its unforgiving heat long since. Perhaps it was magic, or perhaps he was simply naturally this way. Kurogane didn't care overmuch.
Syaoran and Sakura would ask questions when the sun finished rising. Kurogane resolved to answer them then.
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Kurogane hadn't considered this when he'd offered himself up as the sacrifice to keep Fye alive.
The lips fastened on his wrist were not demanding or punishing at all. They were soft, and quiet, and respectful, and all of a sudden they were far too far away. Reaching out blindly, he caught Fye by the shoulders and pulled him up until his face rested against Kurogane's neck.
"Here," he murmured sleepily, using his free hand to press Fye's mouth against his pulse point.
"That's dangerous," Fye whispered, sounding not the least bit tired. "I could hurt you."
"Don't... underestimate me, mage," Kurogane replied after a moment, slowly waking up limb by limb. "If you do something stupid, I'll take you out. Don't worry."
A hesitant sigh against his throat, and then a sharp pain as Fye's fangs cautiously sank in. It hurt. It hurt rather a lot, but all the same the bony weight draped across him and the thin fingers wrapped around the back of his skull made him wish Fye would never move.
It was unexpectedly sensual, and dark, and frighteningly intimate. Pulling away, however, was the furthest thought from his mind.
This world was very quiet and shadowed in violet grey. There was no sky, only a velvet cloak drawn over a silver-barred cage, and the trees around them were subdued and ashen. There was no dawn here to wait for.
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It was Kurogane's turn.
Fye was already awake when he came, and welcomed him without a word or a breath out of place. They were silent beneath the thin blankets, and the world, full of shrieking birds and insects and groaning trees, masked what sounds they made by accident.
Syaoran may have known, but being himself, he turned away and said nothing.
At the end, Fye made one strangled noise against the wall of his throat, and it was probably the most uncontrolled thing Kurogane had ever seen come from him. Every word was usually calculated and perfect. Every movement was economical. Every breath served its purpose and nothing more than that... except for this one, low sound rising and spilling from Fye's parted mouth.
It was enough to break the last thread of control Kurogane had, and a moment later he made a sound of his own, a rumbling thing that no one heard but Fye felt.
Then they were quiet and content between the weeping trees. It no longer hurt to be still.
xxxxxx
They had said their goodbyes. The quest was done. They were free to do as they would, at long last.
Kurogane was going home.
That was to be expected. What was less expected was that Fye was going with him. "You are going to reclaim Suwa, yes?" he said, smiling enigmatically.
Kurogane had missed that smile. "Yes. I am."
"Well, good. You'll be needing me, then." Fye looped his arm through Kurogane's and beamed, as though what he had just said was somehow supposed to make sense.
Kurogane said nothing, hoping that Fye planned to explain himself.
He did. "Who's going to be your alarm clock if I'm not there?" Fye teased, poking his cheek presumptuously and effortlessly dodging the swung fist that followed. "You need someone to wake you, or your mornings will be ruined."
This was truer than he wanted to admit. "Follow me and I'll kill you," he warned grouchily.
Fye only smiled wider and laid his head on Kurogane's shoulder. "Promise?" he murmured, then whirled to catch Kurogane's face and kiss him before he could say any of the things he wanted to.
This world was very boring, only endless grass and faded blue sky, but it was notable because it was the last world before Suwa.
"Fine," Kurogane said when Fye finally released him. "But no pastry, damn it."
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It was not easy, but it was true, and that was better in any case.
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A/N: fjkdlasjfdlas. Written at four in the morning in a trance-like state. Please forgive me for any of the myriad sins I may have unwittingly committed by writing this.
See you next time?
Eia