Defeat

Chapter One: Trapped

Disclaimer: I don't own InuYasha or any of the other characters EXCEPT DAISUKE so don't sue me.

It was deep and dark and shimmered with colors more vibrant than life itself. And I was afraid of it.

And who wouldn't be? After all, I was being forced into it by someone three times as strong as I was, not to mention so much taller he appeared to be a giant. I couldn't see his face, but I heard the wicked, hissing laugh and my blood ran cold: Naraku.

InuYasha will save me, I thought in a panic. He always does. You wait, Naraku! You'll regret this! I was about to throw that in the wicked demon's face when a deep dark hole opened up inside me, offering its own opinion: InuYasha won't save you this time, Kagome. You know it too. He's busy looking for Kikyo, remember? When he heard the rumors, he didn't hesitate; he left you to search for her. You're nothing but a Shard-detector to him. And even if he did come after you, he wouldn't make it here in time.

I fought against the bitter stream of tears rising up within me, but I could not quench them entirely, for those cruel words rang true. InuYasha would not come for me. I was, after all, only a vague imitation of his old haunt, his old love Kikyo. There was no competition over who he would choose to save. Oh, InuYasha, why can't I forget you? Why am I only a second best, a sequel, to your first love?

"Come on Kagome, where are you," he muttered as he bounded across the flat horizon. His ears were pricked forward, straining for any sound of her angry cries warning her captors to stay clear, or maybe telling them that they'd regret it because he was coming for her.

But no sound touched his radar ears, save a faint hissing sound; a snake, maybe? Some twisted laugh? He sniffed, twisting his head this way and that, searching for her scent. A faint trickle of sweet lavender reached him; Kagome! He doubled his pace, white hair flying out like a banner behind him.

"I'm so sorry, Kagome," he whispered, so quietly that even Shippo perched on his back could not hear him. "I swear I'll never leave you like that again. Never. I only hope it's not too late. Please forgive me." He had never spoken like this before. But for the first time that he could remember, InuYasha was afraid.

He wondered if she understood the hope that had coursed through him as powerfully as the guilt that now purged his veins. But he also wondered how he could possibly been so foolish – to leave Kagome, leave her alone, for what was only a rumor. Kagome was real now. Kikyo…Kikyo was dead. It still pained him to say that, even after so long. But he would never ever leave Kagome for Kikyo. No. That he would not do.

But was it already too late? Had he already lost his second love?

I fought fiercely. Usually in a situation like this, I would be screeching at the demons, telling them who was coming for me, telling them that they'd regret this forever. But now he wasn't coming for me. I needed strength. I closed my eyes and pictured the half-demon in my mind, every bit of him: InuYasha's hair was flying out behind him, a white flag, as he crouched, ready for combat. His lips were parted as he bared his fangs. I saw him whip out the Tesusaiga and I could hear his confident taunting voice as he informed his opponents that their death was at hand. His red kimono flashed in the sunlight.

Power surged through me, the power I'd so often seen him wield. I tensed as he did in my mind. My blood was pounding in my ears. I was alert, noticing every detail. I felt his determination, sassiness, strength, courage, and a wild urge to prove that I was not as weak as they thought I was. I understood in that instant what it was like to be in a battle for someone you love.

And I did not mean myself.

"Are you ready, wench?" Naraku's insidious voice cackled behind me. "Are you ready to say goodbye and leave your love forever?"

Five minutes before this, I would have screamed: "HE'S NOT MY LOVE! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK HEAD!" But now I said nothing. I could feel where Naraku was tensing, I knew where he would go next, I knew what spots to resist, and I knew that if I could stall the fall I would live.

My lack of reaction to him calling InuYasha my love (we'd battled before; InuYasha had found me because I'd screamed that I didn't love the half dog-demon at the top of my lungs) clearly unnerved him. He gave a calculating grunt (can grunts be calculating?) and prepared to throw me.

I tensed, arching my back and throwing back my shoulders and head…I waited.

I didn't have to wait long.

Swoosh-clunk-sweep!

"What in the-?" the wicked demon gasped. For I was not in the abyss. Not yet.

And the way things were going, I wasn't going to end up that way.

The positions had switched…after a fashion. Instead of me being held over what was to become my own grave, Naraku was hanging out over the dark canyon. But it wasn't me holding him there.

It was InuYasha.

The half-demon's eyes flashed in fury. His claws clenched into Naraku's neck, drawing drops of blood that hissed when they fell to the ground. InuYasha had one hand about his throat and the other on his chest, preparing to slice and squeeze. I couldn't look my rescuer in the eye, but I knew I was safe. I was always safe with InuYasha around.

But what happens when the Shikon Jewel becomes whole again? I couldn't help asking myself sadly. Will I still be safe around him then? Will he even CARE if I die?

I shooed all thoughts of that from my head and rubbed the small blue jewel still covered with craters that hung from my neck on a piece of twine. Don't worry about that, I chastised myself firmly. What happens happens – and after all, he did come for you!

Naraku's angry roar brought me out of my thoughts with a jerk. "It will be your own demise, Halfling," he growled.

InuYasha's next line was so predictable I could have said it with him.

"Feh," he said. "You wish. You're going to pay for trying to kill Kagome!"

"But you were nearly too late to save her, were you not, puppy?" Naraku taunted. InuYasha cut a sideways glance at me, but I couldn't return his gaze. His golden eyes bored into me for several seconds before he snapped his attention back toward the wicked demon, his sworn enemy.

In that instant, I realized how ridiculous this situation was. This wasn't Naraku. InuYasha would not have taken him by surprise. This was merely a puppet.

The half-demon growled and flattened his ears. "Puppy?" he hissed. "You're in no position to be throwing insults, Naraku!"

"InuYasha!" I called. "Don't bother! That's not Naraku! He doesn't have any shards! Just throw him over – and hurry! I sense a demon approaching at an amazing speed!"

InuYasha cast Naraku a look a deep disgust. He ripped open the puppet's chest and threw him over – only to find that there was no blood on his hands. He shook his head in disgust. "When are we EVER going to find the real one!!?" His eyes widened in … concern? Was that possible? "Kagome, are you alright?"

"I'm…fine. Thank you, InuYasha."

He shook himself and peered across the horizon as I got to my feet. "Do you feel the aura of a Shikon shard? If not, we're getting out of here."

I shook my head. "Just demons, no jewel. InuYasha…what happened to Kikyo?"

He looked away, averting his gaze. "It was a rumor Kagome. What more do you need to know?"

I felt a dozen 'sits' work their way up in my throat before dying mutely against my lips. "Why…why did you come for me?"

He looked confused now. "Um…Kagome? You feeling okay?"

I nodded. Again, I was forced to fight tears. I wanted him so badly to know how I felt. Still, I knew it was impossible. I tried to find another way to express what I was feeling – I had to know whether or not I was only a Sacred Jewel detector.

"InuYasha? Why do you always come for me?" I tried again.

He was irritated now. His golden eyes flashed up to met my stare and held it proudly. "Because without you I can't collect the Jewel of Four Souls," he replied with his usual arrogance and defiance.

I couldn't press back the stream of tears anymore.

"Hey! No, don't…don't cry, Kagome, you know I hate it when you cry," he pleaded. Every bit of anger dropped from his eyes instantaneously and he reached out as though to comfort me, but I pulled backwards. I did nothing to stop the swirling pools of water leaking from my eyes. He almost looked confused, as though he didn't know what he'd done. "Kagome, what…" then it hit him. "OH! Kagome, I didn't mean it, I didn't…oh, will you STOP CRYING! It's like some sort of secret weapon! Stop it, Kagome, please…"

He just hates it because then I'm boring and useless, I thought. No, a tiny bit protested. You know he cares, he really cares…Does not. Does too. DOES NOT!! The greater part won and I finally opened my mouth to speak.

"Sit," I said quietly. Whoosh-Mmmph. The necklace tugged the bewildered half-demon to the ground.

I could hear him cursing unintelligibly for a few minutes before he said something that broke my heart, just broke it in two: "Kagome…"

My name. No insults, just my name. Could that possibly mean that he really understood?

"InuYasha…" I sobbed suddenly. He was slowly regaining the power to move and managed to lift his head. I stared into his golden eyes for one heart stopping moment before weeping: "I'm leaving! I'm leaving…you can collect the shards YOURSELF! You JERK!"

He was on his feet then, coming towards me. I leapt backwards. I had no idea what had come over me, but if he touched me, I'd die. We'd both spent a lot of time trying to prolong my life and I wasn't keen on having my rescuer take it away.

"Get back! Get away from me, InuYasha! I don't know why I ever came with you, I don't know…" I was shaking uncontrollably by this point. I was ever backing up as he kept coming. "Well, I'll never make that mistake again!! Sit!" Whoosh-Mmmph. "You are such a jerk! Don't you get anything?" He was getting up again (didn't the guy take a hint?). "SIT INUYASHA!!" When he had his face thoroughly pressed into the crater that had recently been formed, I whispered: "And goodbye."

"Wench," InuYasha muttered, forcing himself upright. "I'm gonna get you for that." After saying goodbye, Kagome had said sit about five more times to make him stay still while she bolted for home. The last time had knocked him unconscious. "Why the heck did she leave?"

"InuYasha! Kagome went back to the well! Are you gonna go and get her?" Shippo squealed. The little kitsune was practically hopping up and down in his excitement.

"Of course!" he snapped. "She's not leaving that easily without explaining!"

"Explaining what?" Shippo asked suddenly. He looked at InuYasha with his head cocked. Shippo had fallen off InuYasha's back when they had swept down on Naraku and had remained out cold for the rest of the exchange. He had only wakened for the final sits and Kagome's "goodbye."

InuYasha stared at him for a brief moment before realizing that Shippo hadn't heard a word Kagome had said. "Explaining the sits, you dolt! Get on!" he crouched so that the little boy could scramble up. Shippo grabbed a fist full of InuYasha's long white hair and held on tight.

"InuYasha? What did you do to make her that mad?" Smack! "Ow, what'd I say?"

"Shut up! Let's go!" InuYasha growled. He waited for a heartbeat to see if the kitsune would dare disobey (he didn't, being too apprehensive of getting hit by an angry hanyou again). [Hanyou: Japanese for half demon Then, with a push of his feet, InuYasha swept off into the air with Shippo hanging on for dear life. His keen golden eyes caught sight off something on the ground. He landed briefly and groaned. In his hand was the Shikon jewel that had hung from Kagome's neck. The string was broken and he knew she must have thrown it at her feet. He took off again, Shippo releasing a brief squeal of surprise and terror that the half demon hardly heard. Why did you leave? You didn't…you didn't even let me tell you the truth!

My neck felt shivery and bare without the Jewel of Four Souls pressed against it. I had remembered it after going only a few paces from InuYasha and I had thrown it at him. I knew that I wouldn't be able to go back to him, to his time, if I didn't have it so I didn't allow myself to be tempted. It was that simple. I only hoped he would find it. Maybe he would take it and use its power to bring Kikyo to full life and then turn himself human to be with her. I just hoped he would be happy…without me. Because I couldn't be with him.

But you didn't even give him a chance to explain! A voice pointed out. Maybe he does care…you never know. Yes, I do know, I thought. I know enough. He doesn't need me around. I'm never useful in a fight anyways! I just need to forget him, I need to let him go…there's always Hojo anyways, someone who actually asked me out! Hojo, the voice said in disgust. He's never saved your life! He'd be useless in a fight! So am I, so we're perfect for each other, I argued. This had turned into a mental debate! But who could compare to someone you love?

I slammed my history book shut. It was talking about how the mysteries of demons had evolved throughout the centuries. What lies! They're real, that's how the stories came about. It's us that have forgotten about them! I realized how indignant InuYasha would be over this particular book before forcing the thought from my mind.

I rubbed my neck without realizing I was doing it. So often had I played with the Jewel of Four Souls it was now a habit – but the jewel wasn't there. And it never would be again.

Unless InuYasha comes after you. Apparently, part of me was hanging onto InuYasha for dear life. He could, you know. Just because you can't go back with him doesn't mean he wouldn't come for you.

I was currently kneeling by the well with my text book, still in the feudal era. I just couldn't bring myself to go over. What about Sango and Miroku? Didn't I owe them something?

A swift wind rustled by me, bringing with it the bitter taste of a demon – the same one I had sensed back with InuYasha. Strange, I thought. If it was after InuYasha, why is it still coming towards me? Maybe because I'm always with him?

Whatever the reason, it was way too dangerous to stay without my hanyou bodyguard. I stood up as quietly as possible, looking nervously around. I wished I possessed InuYasha's sensitive nose and ears; I felt like I was being watched. I reached over my shoulder, expecting to feel the comforting touch of my arrows.

They weren't there. I twisted about in confusion before my memory supplied the answer: Naraku's puppet had disarmed me. They, along with my bow, were still back at the battle scene.

The hair on the back of my neck prickled and I backed away in confusion. I wasn't alone…but I had to be! If I wasn't, disappearing into the well wasn't an option: that would reveal too much about InuYasha to his enemies.

Just as I had decided that I had imagined the entire thing and turned to leave the feudal era forever, I heard a sleek, cold voice say behind me: "Very astute, for a foolish mortal."

I looked around, quaking with fear. I knew that voice. I hated even more than Naraku's, if that was possible.

The demon opposite me eyed me coolly. Like InuYasha, he had a wolf's golden eyes, but with a peculiar knowing gaze to them. He was taller than InuYasha and wore expensive, rich clothing. My eyes glanced bitterly to his bare feet, to the sword at his side, and up to his face, scarred like a tiger's. I hated everything about him.

"What do you want?" I asked, hoping I sounded braver than I felt.

"How foolish. I must admit I was impressed that you sensed me," Sesshomaru sighed. "But that was simply luck. I see that now. Anyone with half a brain would know that I have to come to speak with my half-brother about a weapon."

"Don't you know when you've lost?" I asked in outrage, echoing something I'd once heard InuYasha say. "He'll never give up the Tetsusaiga! You'd have to kill him and so far you've certainly failed to do that."

Sesshomaru watched the defiant girl with interest. Strange, he thought. She's already begun to act like my vile brother.

"No, I doubt he'd give it up for nothing," was what he said aloud. "But I have just acquired an interesting item that I think he would consider valuable. I believe he will willingly surrender my father's fang along with the Shikon jewel for this thing."

"What is it?" came the sharp reply. She had already guessed, you could see it in her face. Fear stood out sharply in her features, though she was obviously trying to conceal it.

"Can't you guess?" he asked. She shoved back her long black hair and stared back.

"There's nothing that would make him give up the Tetsusaiga! You're wasting your time! Get out of here before he comes along and beats you up!" she shouted. What was her name again? Ah, yes, Kagome. A weak name. Yes, she was perfect for his weakling brother. But still…she was fierier than most: They would have been begging for their lives by now.

"I see we need to establish our positions more clearly," he sighed. "Very well. Kagome, is it? Yes. Now, I will explain: I could kill you in an instant. You are not in a position to be disrespectful. If I didn't need you for a trade with my dear brother, you would be dead now, for your insolence."

"Trade?" she whispered. Her face went pale. "If you think he'll give up his most prized possessions for me, you're out of your mind! InuYasha hates me! I told you, you're wasting your time! Get out of here before he shows up! I'm not in the mood for another battle."

"Foolish girl. You know as well as me that InuYasha is far away, still searching for you. It was unwise to wander so far from him. He will not turn up unless a certain scent reaches him."

"What scent? If you mean me, you're" –

"Wasting time, I know. I believe we've discussed this issue. I think not. Don't worry; he will take his time if it is only your scent, but your blood…" he allowed his features to be briefly transformed into a menacing smile… "I think he will waste no time."

Before she could speak again, he snapped his fingers. Out of nowhere, a fine golden mist sprang up, surrounding InuYasha's wench, who looked truly terrified now. Once, she raised her eyes to him almost beseechingly, before tossing her head of thick ebony hair. A proud look spread across her features and remained, even as she collapsed.

Sesshomaru gazed down at the fallen ningen. [NingenJapanese for human He stood like that for several seconds, her comments echoing in his mind. Maybe, he thought, I'll kill InuYasha and keep the girl too. He chased the thought from his mind and leaned down. The taiyoukai [taiyoukaiJapanese for royal demon, or demon ruler then ran a practiced claw over her throat. Not enough to seriously injure her, but enough to draw fine drops of blood: A signal louder than a scream. No matter how far away his despicable half-brother was, his straining nose wouldn't miss this tell-tale scent.

Gathering Kagome up in his arms, he sat down beside the well and waited. He shot a couple of orders at Jaken, who had been waiting in the forest, and waited for InuYasha as Jaken laid the deadly trap.

For the second time that day, InuYasha was racked with guilt and searching for Kagome. For the second time that day, he heard nothing that told him the story. The only thing his keen nose could pick up for at least an hour was the fading demon scent that Kagome had sensed earlier.

Wait.

Demon scent?

He knew that smell, that stench. Before, his chief concern had been finding Kagome and he had been tuned in only to what would tell him where she was. Sesshomaru, his despised half-brother, was nearby. And in the same direction, he caught and faint sniff of lavender mixed with…oh no.

"Shippo! Do you smell that?"

The kitsune swiveled his head, testing the breeze. "Kagome's blood! InuYasha, do you think she's alright?"

Instead of answering, he bounded forward hastily. But Shippo read the answer in his quickened pace, in the way he was constantly testing the air, the way his ears strained forward. "Please be okay, Kagome," he whispered.

I blinked several times and rubbed my eyes. Where was I and who was standing over me? InuYasha? No, something said. InuYasha's not that tall…then who?

In an instant it was back. I sat up and backpedaled hastily. Sesshomaru turned his gaze on me.

"So. You awaken. I suppose I must tell you the little game that will commence when our dear friend InuYasha arrives so that you do not make any moves that will cost him his life."

"He's not coming," I spat. "Get that through your head! InuYasha's furious with me! He's not coming!" I touched my throat, which, for some reason, felt wet. I withdrew my fingers to see that they were stained with red.

Sesshomaru noticed. "Ah, I see you have found my little beacon. InuYasha has picked up the scent of your blood and is heading even now to what may become his doom, if you do not listen."

I was furious, but I maintained to be furious silently. Killing InuYasha because of ignorance would not be a good start.

"Much better. Now, when my little brother arrives you will be kneeling by this well. I will be a bit off to the side. If you move, a ring of fire will instantly surround you. I will have control of it and it will steadily move in on you at my command. InuYasha will see you and I believe he will be more interested in his wench than in me. But if you speak, I will kill him instantly. He will be unaware of Jaken perched above his head."

I couldn't hold it in any longer. "If I tell him where Jaken is, Jaken won't be able to kill him! Instead, your servant will be dead!"

"Idiotic girl. Do you really think I will hesitate to attack if InuYasha is distracted by Jaken? No. I will have Jaken stay out of the fight unless you speak. Remember, if any word leaves your mouth, you have sealed InuYasha's doom."

No! No! How could this happen? If I went into the well, I had reason to believe that InuYasha would die. If I moved, fire would spring up around me! If InuYasha thought I was in danger…I didn't know what he would do anymore.

"Hush now. Here he comes."

InuYasha touched now nervously. Every inch of him was wild and ready for battle. Blood was pounding in his ears. Shippo slid off his back and followed as they approached the Bone-Eater's Well.

The hanyou's heart leapt. "Kagome!" he called. She was kneeling beside the well, her eyes fixed on the ground. Her black hair swamped forward to hide her face. At his voice, she looked up slowly. Pain showed vividly in her eyes. An angry red line across her throat explained the blood scent. She stretched out her hand and shook her head, as though to tell him to leave.

But even as she began to extend her hand, a ring of flames flowed up around her. Fear quenched her sadness and her eyes searched the wood beside him.

"Hmm. I did warn you, after all."

InuYasha turned slowly. "Sesshomaru! You did this! You are going to die!" he leapt towards him, the Tesusaiga swinging.

"Stop. If you attack, Kagome will die. I have control of the fire around her. If you do not hand over the Tesusaiga and Shikon Jewel this instant, it will be her death."

The half-demon froze. A quick glance at Kagome told him the truth; if he so much as raised a fist, the girl would die.

I was concentrating fiercely, trying to get a message to InuYasha without killing him. InuYasha! Don't give up the Tesusaiga or the Shikon Jewel! Not for me! I was leaving you anyways, I'm not worth it. Anyways, even if I die, you could still find Kikyo...don't give up your only chance for happiness for me InuYasha. Please. If you care about me at all, you'll kill me now.

What a stubborn girl. Sesshomaru could tell how hard she was trying to convey her thoughts to InuYasha without speaking. He also knew of a deep magic, deep down inside a person. If someone truly loved another and was on the brink of death, the object of affection could hear the person's final thoughts. They could even reply!

But it was foolish to worry about such a thing. Kagome had neither the heart nor the strength to be capable of such a thing. Besides, it was unlikely that InuYasha would be listening. If the half-demon was only listening with his ears, if he had barred his heart to protect it from further harm, he would only hear what Kagome was trying to tell him if she spoke aloud.

So there was really no point in worrying at all.

InuYasha…What was that? Kagome's voice resonated in his mind. He sniffed cautiously. Maybe something was wrong with him…Please hear me.

I hear you, Kagome.

InuYasha! Is that really you?

Of course it is, you dolt! Who else would it be? He had no clue what was going on. This was impossible. Still, there was a legend…one that told the story of two lovers. Poised between life and death and unable to speak, the girl had managed to make her mate hear her final thoughts. Could Kagome be doing the same thing? The thought made his blood run cold. Did that mean…she would die? Except, of course, that they weren't lovers…but Kagome, dead?

Don't give up the Tetsusaiga for me, InuYasha. It lasts forever. I mean nothing. Please…let me die.

I wouldn't be letting you die, Kagome. I'd be killing you. And wouldn't that make coming to rescue you countless times a waste of energy?

Listen to me! Kikyo…she loves you. And she's capable of defending herself. If…if I die, I think my soul would go back to her. You could use –

How stupid are you? Do you honestly think I'm going to kill you?!

Just listen for a moment. If I died, Kikyo would be fully alive. You could use the Jewel of Four Souls to cleanse her of her hatred! She would be Kikyo again, InuYasha, just as you remember her, and everything that you hoped for before would come true. Not only that, Sesshomaru would be out of your way for eternity and you would always have the Fang. And InuYasha…death would be preferable to the life I would be doomed to live. I would have to live without you, trying every waking moment to forget you, wishing you happiness. Please…kill me.

Shut UP!! I'm not going to kill you, Kagome, so you might as well give up. What the half-demon didn't tell her was that her words had awakened a powerful temptation up inside of him…Kikyo…alive. Alive! His heart soared. But when he thought of the consequences – Kagome's death at his hands – his spirits plummeted into a bottomless abyss.

He blocked Kagome out, concentrating fiercely on what he knew he had to do. Only dimly could he hear Kagome's screams. She was trying so, so hard. She was trying to kill herself, to die, for him…for him and Kikyo.

What was wrong with that girl?

InuYasha wasn't listening anymore, I could tell. I could no longer sense what he would do. I had felt how badly part of him wanted to listen to me, to give in, to kill me for Kikyo. I had been working off that part, but now I wasn't sure he could hear me at all.

I could feel the heat closing in around me. The longer InuYasha hesitated, the closer my death swept.

Just as I was trying to figure out a new way of attracting the dog demon's attention, a flicker of movement caught my eye. Neither of the others had noticed – InuYasha being torn in two and Sesshomaru focusing all his attention on InuYasha, Jaken, and me.

I studied the small, vaguely familiar form. Finally, a red-orange tail flickered into view; Shippo! Of course he had come with InuYasha! Hope surged into me. Maybe, just maybe, we would be okay!

But even as I considered hoping, I could feel flames licking my ankles. The sudden, soaring sensation that hope brings gave way almost instantly to desperation. I watched in utter horror as InuYasha swept the Tetsusaiga up in one hand – still sheathed – and the Shikon Jewel in the other. I could tell his hands were shaking slightly, if only by the way the Jewel was swaying back and forth.

No, I thought. No! Last time I had been helpless to warn InuYasha was when Kikyo had pinned me to a tree and…kissed him – before she tried to drag him into hell, naturally. But then I had still been able to make InuYasha hear me. Now he wasn't listening, was deliberately blocking me out. What could I do?

The heat was becoming unbearable. I pulled myself into a small ball, trying to avoid the ravenous flames. I watched InuYasha…step by step, he moved closer to Sesshomaru. The wicked demon extended his hand to take his price.

Two more steps and all would be lost.