The only thing that the night had going for me today was a tempestuous bitter thunderstorm raining down on me, causing my battered tunic I recently bought from a traveling Khajiit Caravan to become drenched in soaking cold rain and my boots to become awfully soggy. My messenger bag was also being showered with rain, but I didn't break a sweat about it. It was made to withstand this kind of weather all the time. The perfect bag for the best courier in all of Skyrim! Ahead of me was the walls of Windhelm, a city dominated by racist, drunk, and ignorant Nords. Great. The last time I visited there, I was to deliver a mail saying "We know." with a black inked hand printed on it to a taciturn blonde woman standing just outside the gates of Windhelm. The next thing you know, I ended up at Darkwater Crossing with a dead mudcrab stuck onto my shirt. The only evidence I have of her existence was a letter damped in fresh blood. Huh? -AGHHHH! Why is my head hurting so much?! Agh, why can't I remember what happened?! Every time I think about it, it feels like my head is going to split into two!
I closed the gates of Windhelm behind me as I approach Candlehearth Hall, trying to recover from the sudden migraine. It was the typical Windhelm environment. Two drunken men brawling each other outside the Inn, a homeless man flirting with a civilian woman as a way to convince her to give him money, and the unfortunate Dark elves getting harassed for no absolute reason. This is it, people. If the rebellion succeeds, then this is our new Skyrim Capital. As an imperial supporter, the literal sound of that makes me cringe. I am Skyrim's most popular courier, nonetheless, so I mustn't let my opinions affect my job. I dragged my feet into the Candlehearth Hall, and a call from Elda Early-Dawn startled me.
"Hello dear! Got some fresh-baked bread an' good cheese, if you're looking for a bite to eat. By the way, any letters for me?"
"No mail, ma'am. I would like to rent a room, if there is one available."
"Oh of course! Let me lead you to your room, and since you're a courier I'll let you stay for free!"
As we walked to the room I couldn't help but notice a strange presence inside the building. Dammit, I'm always so delusional! It can't be her. She's not here. Stop thinking that I'll see her again! She's-
"OW!" I fell down onto my knees and clenched my head tightly. The pain was almost unbearable. I really have to stop thinking about her!
"Oh dear, are you okay?!" Elda Early-Dawn asked as she helped me up.
"Yes, I'm fine, ma'am." I said.
Once we arrived to my room, Elda gave me the keys to my room and left.
Finally alone. I thought to myself. I can do it now. I jumped onto the cushy bed and quickly grabbed my messenger bag. The mails are still dry. Good. However, I am only concerned about one particular mail that I was asked to deliver earlier today. The letter was written on premium paper, which is rare to find these days. Golden sealed and properly formatted, this letter is worthy of being opened and read... by me. A pretty bad habit of mine, I admit, but no one suspects the courier for secretly reading people's letters on his free time for fun. This one is different, though. This premium letter was written for Ulfric Stormcloak, Jarl of Windhelm. Why would anyone want to send a letter to him? It's probably has to do with something about the war, I bet...
*Skkkeek.* As I rip the golden seal off, I slowly opened up the letter and skimmed through its contents:
"Dear Ulfric Stormcloak,
The Stormcloaks have won victory at the Battle of Whiterun. The Imperials have retreated back to Solitude to gather more reinforcements. As ever, we wouldn't be victorious without Ellen. She will be visiting you once she's done with her own personal business.
Sincerely,
A loyal Stormcloak soldier."
"Premium paper...for this? I was expecting a royal wedding invitation!" I cried out laughing. The only thing that struck me about the letter was that name. Who is Ellen? I heard that name somewhere before... I bet it's that blonde woman! Ellen is her name! -Crap!
"AGGHNN!" My mind... I can barely think... my brain... painfully pulsing... Shit...
...
"Wha-? Where the hell did I wake up this time...?" I murmured. The moment I opened up my eyes from my deep slumber, I knew that I wasn't in the Inn. Figured. As I looked around to analyze where my location was, it seems like I ended up at the marketplace at Riften. Riften of all places?
Luckily, I still have my messenger bag with me. Thank the gods. It would be such an embarrassment for Skyrim's best courier to suddenly lose his most valuable asset. As I managed to get myself standing again, I could see ahead of me my old friend Brynjolf trying to use cheap market tactics to try and sell his "magical" potion.
"Hey, Brynjolf!" I called out to him.
"Oh hey, Esther! It's been a long time since Riften has been visited by everyone's favorite courier! Hahaha! Come here, lad!"
"Yeah, what is it buddy? Hey ow! Stop!" Brynjolf grabbed me and continuously nudged me on the head. He always did that. "Oh lad, I missed you, hahaha,"he cried out loud. "Yeah, I missed you too!" I replied joyfully.
"Say, you wanna grab a drink at The Bee and Barb? We can talk about all your adventures across Skyrim, lad!"
"Sure. Don't get too drunk like last time, eh?"
The Bee and the Barb was brimming with drunken locals reeking of Black-Briar mead. Marcurio always boasting about his destruction magic, Maramal spreading the word of Mara, and employers from the Black-Briar meadery taking a break to unwind to some Velvet LeChance or White-Gold Tower, as Talen-Jei calls it. Fucking Talen-Jei. As I grabbed a table for Brynjolf and I to drink at, I realized that my clothes were a complete mess, and my boots was battered with dirt and mead. It wasn't like this when I was in Windhelm. I thought. Perhaps Brynjolf knows something about me getting kidnapped? Someone was bound to see me being carried away by my kidnapper. I'll go ask some of the people here to see if they know anything.
"Talen fucking Jei. Aren't I glad to see you again."
*flicks me off*
"Well anyways, I have a few questions for you that you could help me with."
"Pfft. Like I would help you. You have some nerves coming back here after what you did here last time."
"It was an accident!"
"Masturbating in front of everyone was no accident, Mr. Mailman."
"I drank a little bit too much, that's all!"
"You got your shit in my Velvet LeChance! I made it special that day because I was extremely tired and overworked, and you just had to run in, jerk off, and take a jizz in my drink. I don't even want to talk to you, you little shit."
"Well thanks for the fucking help!" I yelled as he walked off.
Sigh.
I looked around to see if there was anyone else I could talk to. Someone who is actually willing to help and have a discussion with me without being reminded of the incident last time. As I turned my head to the right, I couldn't help but notice a familiar figure talking to Sapphire.
Huh?
"What in the bloody hell..?" I murmured.
A blonde woman stared directly into my eyes, looking like she was about to explode in anger.
"You motherfucker.." She said sternly.
Oh gods.
"YOU MOTHERFUCKING BASTARD!"
The room came to a complete silence, and my mind was confused on what was happening right now. Should I run? Should I stay and talk this out? Should I-
The metallic sound of the woman unsheathing her sword echoed against the walls.
I'M GOING TO FUCKING RUN!
"Hey, Esther! Where are you going?!" Brynjolf yelled out.
I barged out of The Bee and Barb and ran towards Riften's city gate, hoping that there was someone who could stop this insane woman. As I approached the gate, there wasn't any guards in sight guarding the gate. Crap.
"You're kinda out of luck if you're looking for some help to escape me!" she yelled out to me. "I killed them!"
Is she on fucking Skooma?! Dammit! I can't run from her forever!
As I tried to escape this horrifying fucker, I witnessed ahead of me was an available horse stable. I jumped onto the nearest horse I could find and rode out into the wilderness. I turned around to check if she was still chasing me.
No sign of her. What? Where is she? She was just behind me... swinging her sword around.
Chased or not, I thought, I still have to deliver that message to Ulfric Stormcloak before everything goes awry.
The only problem is... I don't know how to fight in the wilderness.
...
After hours on horseback, rummaging through the woods of Skyrim, I decided to take a rest and review everything that had happened in the past few hours.
I was on my way to see Ulfric Stormcloak to deliver an important letter to him regarding the Stormcloak victory at Whiterun. After arriving at Windhelm from my walk from Whiterun, I decided to take a rest at Candlehearth Hall. Next thing you know, I happen to wake up at Riften's marketplace for some unknown reason. I see my friend Brynjolf at the marketplace and we decide to get a drink together at The Bee and Barb. I walked around the Inn, asking the locals if they knew anything regarding my kidnapping but that didn't help at all. Moments later, the blonde woman I saw at Windhelm came rushing towards me with her sword, and my instincts told me to run away from her. I grabbed a horse, and immediately rode into the Wilderness. There was no sign of her chasing me anymore, but I knew that I couldn't stop running.
And congratulations to me. I managed to get myself lost in the woods of Skyrim without a proper weapon, and I have absolutely no idea where I am at right now. As a courier, I still have a job to deliver mails to civilians all around Skyrim. I figured that if I wanted to bring myself back up from this whole mess, I should start by doing one thing right.
I took out a crumbled up map out of my messenger bag's pocket and tried to analyze where my location was. Minutes after analyzing, I can conclude that I have no fucking idea where I am right now. Everywhere around me was full of trees. In the distance? Trees. Up in the sky? Leaves of the trees blocking out the sun's sunlight. There is no sign of streams anywhere either. And to top it all off, the sun is coming down pretty quickly. Dammit.
Gee, I wonder if the horse knows where the hell we are at.
"Hey horsey. Yeah, I'm going to call you horsey. That's your new name, okay? Okay, so...do you know where the nearest river is around here?"
The horse looked at me dumbfounded.
"Uh...water. You. Drink. Is good for you." I said, trying to demonstrate water waves with my hand.
I'm not going to get anywhere out of this, am I?
"Hey you! You lost?" A sudden voice yelled out across the distance, echoing through the densely packed forest.
Startled, I cautiously turned around to check where that voice was coming from. It wasn't a familiar voice that I could recall at the top of my head, and it definitely isn't a woman's either, although for once I am very thankful for that.
"Faendal?" I guessed.
"Yep, that's me." He said as his appearance becomes more visible. "Again, you lost?"
"Yeah... However, I have a question. Are we near Riverwood or something?" I asked awkwardly.
"A courier gets lost, HAH, that's hilarious. And yes, we are near Riverwood. C'mon. Let's get going."
"Alright!"