God, No
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This was it. The moment that defined his entire life. Squall held out the open box to Rinoa and held his breath. "Rinoa Heartilly, will you marry me?" There was a moment of pure silence. Then Rinoa knocked the box out of Squall's hand and burst into tears. Squall blinked and looked up from the box. "... I know the Cafeteria "It's not that, Squall! I'm in love with someone else!" He blinked even more, then stood up so quickly he knocked over a chair. "We've been dating for three months. I'm sorry, Squall..." Squall unsheathed Lionheart and gritted his teeth. "Who is he?!" A pair of slim pale arms encircled his former love's waist and he Squall sat down again with a bump. "Really, Squall," Irvine protested, coming up to the side of the pair. "Rinoa... and Quistis?" "Yeah. I think it's cute!" Selphie piped up, at Irvine's side, as per "C'mon, Squall," Quistis spoke up, turning her head to him as Rinoa Squall was depressed, but he knew enough to cock an eyebrow. "Selphie Selphie blushed. "Booyaka! We're not going steady yet." The dark-haired boy looked at them all steadily until he determined Irvine gave him a huge grin. "Well, I couldn't decide between Cid and Squall shuddered and began to back away slowly. "Whatever..." "Go away, Seifer. I am busily going insane," Squall said calmly. "He just found out Rinoa's cheating on him, so he's in a mega-bummer," Seifer nodded sagely. "Hell. That can do bad shit to a man. If I ever "Seifer Almasy! You don't get back here right now, I won't play the His demeanor immediately became docile and he turned around and whined "That's Mistress Dincht to you!" "Yes, Mistress." "ZELL!" Fujin squealed delightedly, recognizing the chocobo-haired "Oooh! Fujie-baby!" Zell squirmed beside his mother and ran into the "CHOCOBO-DARLING-DEAR," Fujin said affectionately, rubbing his back and Squall whimpered and hid under the table. Selphie got to her knees and smiled cheerfully at the trembling man. "Redrum, redrum, redrum," Squall whimpered back. "Black materia. "Calm down, Squallie," she soothed. "Just loosen up - oooh, hey, Ange! Squall wriggled out from underneath the table and looked around the Squall clenched his eyes shut and took some deep breaths. Yeah. This He smoothed his hair and strutted cooly over to the person's side, Raijin's eyes lit up like fairy lights. "Your room or mine, ya know?!" Squall woke up screaming. It took him a few moments to realize where he was and he thankfully 'Rinoa' turned over and a pair of dark eyes in a burnt-brown face gleamed Squall looked at Raijin. Raijin looked at Squall. Squall opened his mouth to scream again, then shrugged. "Whatever." Sailor Squall says, "We learnt today that it's not good to argue about The End (Thank God)
"I can't go on living this lie!"
isn't the most romantic place, but - "
followed them up to see a lock of blonde hair fall over Rinoa's cheek
as the assailant nibbled at her ear. Rinoa giggled and batted playfully
at Quistis' arms.
"We thought you'd notice."
always.
moved down to lick at her neck. "You can find true love. Just like me
and Rinoa, or Selphie and Angelo."
and Angelo?"
that indeed yes, they were all insane. "So Irvine, who are you
dating?" he asked sarkily.
Edea... so I just took them both! Hah, hah, hah!"
On cue, mainly because this is a fanfic, Seifer and his posse strode
into the cafeteria. Seifer took one look at Squall and laughed long
and loud. "Wah, hah, hah! Looks like my old rival Squall is in
trouble." Seifer smirked at the man cowering from him, paying no
attention to the two girls making out beside him.
Selphie explained to the blonde.
found MY honey cheating on someone, I'd say, 'Hey, bitch, get back in
the kitchen and make me some -' "
spanking game with you tonight!"
to the large woman standing at the door beside her son. "Aw, Mrs Dincht,
do I haveta?"
shadow behind Ma Dincht.
silver-haired woman's embrace. "My pookie-wookie-wuv."
making sloppy kissing noises as Ma Dincht put Seifer's collar back on.
"C'mon, Squall. None of us want to hurt you. We just want you to be
happy!"
Do the Dew, man. I'm going insane!"
Wanna doggie biscuit?"
room. Selphie was feeding Angelo the aforementioned doggie biscuit.
Ma Dincht was tying Seifer over a table and getting a paddle out of her
handbag. Zell was alternately sucking on Fujin's neck and whispering
sweet nothings in her ear. Squall thanked Hyne for his hair at that
moment, because it hid the vision of Rinoa slowly trickling melted
butter down Quistis' top.
was all normal. Be cool, Squall. Besides... there was one lonely person
in the room who was... tugging on his heartstrings with the pathetic
look on their face. Besides, Squall always did have a strange attraction
to the person... this looked like the perfect time to act.
clearing his throat nervously. "Well... whatever, I don't know about
you, but... I've always... had this urge to..."
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leaned back and wiped the sweat off his brow. It had all been a dream,
one horrible dream, and now he was back home and Rinoa was in bed beside
him. Just a dream. Just a dream.
coyly at Squall. "Ready for round two, ya know...?"
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people and their romantic interests. We should just imagine them all
in one huge orgy and write lemons about it, adding cool things like
tentacles an' stuff! Wicked cool!"
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