Title: Back to School
Author: Bamboxler
Warnings: Buffy bashing, and a little bit of Xander bashing
Spoilers: To be safe all of buffy, and up to 3rd season Angel. 2nd season buffy-episode School hard
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, if i buffy would have died many times more
Pairings: Angel/Cordelia, a little Fred/Wes, and Buffy/no one because she is stupid
Summary: Connor accidently gets himself, Angel, Cordy, and Spike sent to past sunnydale. How will they survive the past event, and how will the scoobies react. And will we ever find out what Buffy's gender is? Not a sequel to any other stories but still good.
Notes: Cordelia and Angel have been dating for a while. Connor is 5 years old, and considers Cordy as his mom. Spike, Wes, Gunn, Fred, Cordy and Angel are a happy family. Cordydemon/seer. Spike got his soul after he got the chip in his head. Never fell in love wiht Buffy. Angel and Spike get along. No one really likes buffy. The first chapter sets the scene and the relationship of the LA gang and is kinda long. It isn't that exciting, but i promise you when they go back in time it gets better. I was going to write in Faith, but I just didn't, sorry.
"Wow, mommy, look at all these necklaces." Conner said as he entered the magic shop. He loved going with his parents to the magic shop. There were so many weapons. He especially loved going with Uncle Spike, because Spike would let him play with the weapons. "Hey mommy, look at that. That ring that has a shiny ruby, with swirls of blue. Can I have it, please," Connor looked up at his mom with the puppy dog eyes his dad taught him.
"No Connor, we have to get the stuffy books uncle Wes needed and then go home. Mommy has to yell at spike fro telling you where daddy's gel was. Is your tummy okay?" Cordy asked. It was earlier that day Spike had given Connor Angel's hair gel and of course Connor just had to eat some. Ever sense he was a little kid he had an unnatural obsession with hair gel, but what can you expect from a kid whose dad is a vampire, and whose family runs around fighting demons. Actually he ate almost anything. He was bound to be anything but normal.
"No, my tummy's better," Connor rubbed his stomach as he reminisced about the awful incident. Connor glanced at the ring again. It looked so cool. He shot a quick glance to his mother, who was at the check out counter, and slipped the ring into his pocket.
"Come on Connor, Wesley gets cranky when he doesn't have his boring books. Remember the time when you ate a couple of the pages out of his demon book. Boy was he mad, but it was hilarious when his face turned so red," Cordy picked Connor up and put him in the car, tickling him.
"Mom, stop it!" Connor shouted, giggling uncontrollably.
Later at the Hyperion Hotel
"No!"
"Yes!"
No way!"
"Bloody yes, you nancy boy. I've been around for a long time. I've killed demons, and I even came back from the dead. So I'm right and you're wrong," a heavy English accent yelled, echoing in the empty hotel.
"What the hell are you talking about? Halley Berry kicks Jennifer Aniston's ass in the hotness factor," Gunn shouted back.
"Whatever!" Spike replied as Fred bounded down the stairs, humming cheerfully.
"Hey, can we get tacos today?" Fred asked with a grin. She couldn't get enough tacos. Angel strolled down the stairs just as Cordy and Connor walked through the front doors.
"Daddy!" Connor shouted happily and sprinted towards Angel. Angel scooped Connor up into his arms.
"Hey, buddy! Did you have fun with mommy? She didn't take you shopping, and wear out daddy's credit card on clothes again, did she?" Everyone laughed except Cordy who walked over to him and slapped him on the chest smiling.
"That only happened twice, and they were all um, very important to the, uh-case and-Connor," she stuttered, as she stumbled over an excuse.
"Right Barbie," Gunn snorted while he sharpened his axe. Cordy glared at him until she spotted the bleach-haired vampire, and narrowed you eyes.
"Oh, by the way Spike, what the H-E-L-L…" Cordy started only to be interrupted by an excited Fred.
"Oooh, that spells hell!"
"Thanks Fred, I was trying to not say certain words in front of certain little kids," Cordy replied looking at Connor.
"Hey Barbie that's mean, don't talk to Wes that way," Gunn joked, while everyone laughed, except Wes who had just walked out of his office.
"Thanks baldy, it is always great to know I can count on you to question my manhood," Wesley said, his nose still stuck in a book. He looked up at the books in Cordy's hand. He grabbed them and started to read again. Cordy shook her head trying to focus on what she was doing before.
"Back to what I was saying. Spike how could you give Connor some of Angel's gel? You know that he eats almost everything," Cordy glared at spike, exhausted from taking care of a sick kid all day.
"Sorry, luv, but he said that he wanted to look like his big uncle Spike. The little bugger is very persuasive," Spike exclaimed trying to calm Cordy down. No one likes being on Cordy's bad side.
"It was funny when daddy slipped and fell on the gel," Connor chipped in, trying to bail out his uncle.
"See, some of me is rubbing off on him," Spike smirked at a not so amused Angel.
"That's not a good thing. And no more gel, for either of you," Angel ordered, satisfied with the punishment. Connor and Spike's mouths shot open.
"Oh, hell no! I need that gel. Wait you're not my dad!" Spike yelled defensively.
"Look at the time, it's getting ready for someone's nap," Cordy said after she looked at the clock. Gunn glanced at Wesley.
"Gosh English, the lady is talking to you," Wesley again glared at the smirking bald man.
"Come on Wes, time for your nap," Fred said, and a led Wesley upstairs, ignoring their friend's oohs, and ahhs. Angel turned to look at Connor.
"Hey buddy, lets go upstairs with mommy and take a nap," Angel twirled Connor around and walked up the stairs. Cordy began up the stairs and then stopped and glared at Spike.
"Guys, we will eat dinner later okay. And I'm still mad at you Spike."
"Come on luv, I said sorry. If it will make you feel better, he made me eat some too," Spike scrunched up his face in disgust, recalling this morning.
"That makes me feel a little better," Cordy smiled before continuing up the stairs to the two guys she loved more than the world. I never thought in a million years I would ever end up so lucky. I have a great boyfriend, wonderful family, and I'm a mother. Queen C see me now. As she walked into her and Angel's room she saw Connor sleeping on his little bed. The guys built the bed a little while back claiming it would be cheaper than buying a new one Connor would just eventually grow out of. It was like the three stooges. She walked to her bed finding her manpire soundly sleeping, not moving at all. I'm never going to get used to this no breathing thing.
"Hey!" Angel mumbled opening his eyes. He stared at Cordy and sighed. That has to be the most beautiful sight in the world, he thought. Cordy sat on the bed and laid down next to him.
"You know it isn't your bedtime yet" Cordy rolled over to face Angel.
"I know, but Connor said he wouldn't go to sleep unless I did," Angel said staring into her eyes. He leaned over to give a quick kiss, then pulled her down onto him, and kissed her more passionately. Her lips parted, allowing his tongue to meet hers. They stayed in the lip lock, their tongues melding together, only separating when she needed air.
"Umm, gel," Connor whispered rolling over onto his side, still sleeping soundly. They jumped apart. Her face was flushed, and his eyes were in a daze.
"We should go downstairs, and let him sleep. I have to order tacos, before Fred combusts," Cordy pulled herself off of Angel and started for the door.
"Okay, just let me take a shower. A cold shower," Angel replied pulling his shirt off and making his way to the bathroom. Cordy turned to watch him until he went into the bathroom. She was about the walk out until the bathroom door popped open.
Angel stuck his head out. "I love you."
Cordy shook her head grinning "Love you too, broody." She then bounced down the steps, leaving Angel with his thoughts. I think I would have staked myself, if I didn't have a permanent soul. Angel grinned and shut the door.
Cordy made her way down the stairs, trying to hide her smile, but failed. It was glued onto her face.
"Hey Barbie, you might want to get some tacos before Fred uses one of her weird contraptions on you," Gunn yelled, sitting on the couch in lobby playing Grand Theft Auto Vice City. -Man I gotta get a girl friend- "Yeah, take that you stupid cop!"
"Having evil robot cop flashbacks, Gunn?" Cordy asked picking up the phone. Gunn just grinned and laughed. Cordy speed dialed the taco place. Man, can that girl eat tacos. And now it is Connor's favorite food, well besides gel. She hung up and walked over to Gunn, plopping down on the couch. "It will take 20 minutes. Did you know they have memorized where the hotel is?" Cordy said staring at the TV. Gunn just ran over a hooker and laughed.
Spike walked in, done training in the basement. Once he saw what Gunn was playing he ran over and jumped onto the couch. "I get to play next! Oh, run over that dude. Nice!" Spike yelled excited. He may not enjoy killing real humans anymore, but who can resist Grand theft auto.
"Oh yes, I got the machete! Come here business man!" Gunn yelled.
"You guys are evil," Cordy said with disgust. "Wait, get the blonde! Ha, take that you stupid slut!" Cordy screamed. Angel casually walked down the stairs with his usual black pants, and black shirt. His hair was still slightly damp from his shower. There's my family. You wouldn't think we fought demons if you looked at us. Their just watching a normal video…wait is that Grand theft auto. He ran down the rest of the stairs, tripping over one of Connor's toys. He stumbled over to them, and sat on the couch next to Cordy.
"Oh, I got to play this next!" Angel yelled, placing his arm around Cordy.
"No, sorry poof. I'm next," Spike said sticking his tongue out.
"Yah, okay. When is the food getting here?" Angel asked pulling Cordy to him.
"15 minutes"
"Oh wait I forgot something," Angel said, smirking. Cordy looked over to him confused.
"What did you…" Cordy was interrupted by angel's sweet lips. He pulled her tight against him, and everything in the room disappeared, including their booing friends. Angel pulled back, allowing her to breath.
"That" he grinned.
"You should forget more often," Cordy replied, her hair slightly messing, and her heart was beating fast. She leaned back on Angel and sighed, snuggling into his chest. They turned their heads back to the TV.
"Ha, you died, now give" Spike taunted, snatching the controller away from Gunn.
"Hey manners!" Cordy snapped, instinctually switching into mom mode.
"Sorry luv, I'm a vamp. We don't have manners," Spike replied proudly and returned his attention back to the game.
"Angel's a vamp, and he has manners," Cordy said smiling up at her manpire. Angel leaned down and kissed her forehead.
"That's because he is whipped. Yes!" Spike shouted after getting the flamethrower.
"I don't mean to rain on your parade dude, but you have a soul now, and you're sitting here playing a video game. And you're scared of Barbie. Yeah your one scary-ass fierce vampire," Gunn sarcastically said, chuckling.
"Well to use your line 'I used to be cool before I met you all.'" Spike defensively replied, as a smirk crossed his face. Fred skipped down the stairs dragging a tired Wesley with her.
"Are the tacos here yet, cause tacos are really good and Cordy said we could have tacos, and tacos are my favorite food, and they really are…" Fred rambled ignoring the stares of her friends.
"Fred!" they all shouted at the rambling Texan.
"Sorry," she meekly replied.
"No, Fred. They should be here soon though," Angel said. Fred and Wesley sat down on the loveseat couch next to the others, joining the others watching Spike play.
"Get that blond," Cordy yelled, "Ha, yes!"
"You do realize you are blond now, Cordy," Wesley informed her.
"Yeah but I'm not a natural blond" Cordy replied. Yeah! Score one for Cordy. A cool hand wrapped around her wrist tenderly.
"Hey, that dude looks like Wesley," Gunn pointed to the screen. There were nods of agreement all around. Gunn smirked and yelled "Kill him!" Spike threw a grenade at the Wesley look-a-like, blowing him to pieces. "Yeah!" Gunn screamed clapping.
"Hey," Wesley said. Fred grabbed his hand.
"Just kidding English,"
Knock, knock. Fred jumped up and ran to the door. "Tacos!" she yelled and grabbed the bag from the terrified delivery man. She ran back to the others as Cordy walked over the guy and gave him some money. Everyone walked over to the table and grabbed some food, fearing Fred may eat it all. Cordy went into the kitchen to make Angel's and Spike's dinner. She came back out and handed two mugs to them. They quickly drank it. After everyone ate dinner, Gunn and Spike began to argue about weapons, Cordelia and Angel were cuddling on the couch, and Wes and Fred were talking about portals, and slime demons.
Cordy yawned and stretched. "I think I'm gonna head to bed, coming" She asked looking back at Angel. Angel walked over to her and nodded his head. Spike got away from Gunn and walked over to angel.
"I think I'm gonna say goodnight to the little poof, before you guys 'go to bed." Spike said using air quotes. Angel hit him on the chest before turning to Cordy, as they headed up the stairs.
Angel leaned in and whispered to Cordy, "He really loves Connor. We're luck to have such a great family."
"Who doesn't love Connor? He has almost everyone wrapped around his little finger," Cordy replied.
Spike peeked into the doorway as Connor woke up. "Go back to bed, I just wanted to say goodnight, and here's that buck. How you got your way out of trouble again, I'll never know." Spike handed him the buck grinning. I hope one day I'll be lucky enough to get a son.
Angel and Cordy walked into the bedroom. Cordy smiled at her son, then headed to the bathroom. Angel walked over to his son. "I'm lucky aren't I?" Angel said, his eyes never leaving Connor.
"You sure are, poof. I guess I'll have to just wait until I'm blessed with something like him. I can wait," Spike assured himself. Angel snorted.
"Oh please! You have never been patient," Angel said. He was now sitting on the bed, still staring at a drowsy Connor.
"What!" Spike huffed
"You-aren't-patient," Angel said slowly as Cordy walked in. She went over to Connor, who was motioning her to pick him up. She picked him up and sat on the bed next to Angel.
"Spike patient, please," Cordy said.
"Again, I say what! I am very patient," Spike said confidently. Yeah, I know I'm right.
"Even when you were evil you weren't patient.. Remember on parents' day in Sunnydale. You were supposed to wait until the harvest, but insead you crashed the school," Angel said.
"Yeah, then you got you're a-s-s handed to you by miss-look-at me-I-can-save-the world-but-heaven-forbid-I-shower-before-I-go-to-school," Cordy replied, careful not to stir Connor. As they continued bickering, they failed to notice Connor's ring begin to glow. Soon a bright red light shot out, engulfing the entire room.
"Angel!" Cordy yelled as the light blinded them. She held on to Connor tightly. Then all of a sudden their was nothing left in the room except silence.
"Hey guys, I just wanted to…oh my god!" Fred shouted as she saw a flash of light coming from Angel's and Cordy's bedroom. "Wes, Gunn, come here. Now!" She yelled.
A/N Hey guys, the next chapter should be up by tommorrow or so. I know the beginning is boring but it gets better. Next chapter, Sunnydale. Reviews are always welcome hint, hint.