Title: Absence of Fear (Based off the Jewel song lyrics)
Rating: R (sexual content and mature language)

Paring: Alex and Izzie
Disclaimer: I don't own them or something... Tell me if you like it. It's my first attempt at fic writing. My apologies if it blows. ; )

Chapter 1

Inside my skin there is this space
It twists and turns
It bleeds and aches

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The sun was just setting as Isobel Stevens pulled open the familiar doors to the top Seattle Grace hot spot; simple, cozy, welcoming... Joe's Bar. Ever since she moved out to Seattle to be closer to work, the establishment quickly became one of her favorite places in the world. There was something about the feeling you received from simply walking through those doors. The soft hum of laughter echoing from the mouths of relaxed friends and coworkers. A feel-good song ringing sweetly in the background, always loud enough for you to recognize the tune and place a warm smile across your face, but never preventing friendly conversation. Yes. For Izzie, it truly was a home away from home.

After making it through the entrance of the bar, Izzie allowed herself to take in the familiar sights and sounds. Taking a deep breath, she inhales the comforting scent of rain and mixed nuts that lingers in the air. Izzie shakes her brown peacoat off and hangs it up next to the door, proceeding to glance around the room for a familiar face. Work had been hell today and all she wanted to focus on was relaxing with friends and a few drinks. She notices Joe wearing his lovable grin and waving Izzie over to the bar. Izzie's face lights up and she allows the contagious effect Joe has on all his customers to consume her. That must be the secret behind why its always so busy in here.

She lets her body finally relax; reassuring herself that nice conversation with Joe and a glass of Chardonnay until George, Meredith or Cristina finally got off work was the perfect way to start her evening. Starting toward the bar, Izzie's breathe catches in the back of her throat and she comes to an abrubt hault. Her eyes settle on the unmistakable form of Alex Karev's broad dark shoulders and messy brown hair. Even from behind and without acknowledging it himself, he had a way of making her heart stop cold, forcing her to loose herself in thoughts of him for a few split seconds. She'd actually became skilled at ignoring the impulses allowing them to slip into fleeting memories. Especially with the recent Addison development. She convinced herself that this was yet another reason why she'd never allow the slightest hint of jealousy shed light upon her face. Izzie was conditioned well in the art of denial when it came to him, because her feelings were never what they used to be. Not since Denny, or I guess, since Olivia. She had in some way given up on caring too deeply for a man, especially a man like Alex. A man who could hurt her, like he did.

So she calmly took the small waves of jealousy and desirability as they came, always carefully tucking them deeper and deeper into the recesses of her heart. Promising herself that she would never let them surface again like they had in the past. She was through making herself emotionally vulnerable to men like Alex, no matter how hot he looked while she pretended to carry on a conversation with George in the locker room, stealing every moment she could, attempting to indifferently check out his exquisitely sculpted physique while unchanging. Or how many times they'd exchange superficially polite smiles that silently screamed of anything but platonic in nature, causing every remarkable exchange of touch and emotion to replay in the back of her head… No matter how many times. She was tired of being let down, in one way or another, by the men in her life.

For the past six months, she'd adapted to the defense mechanism devised for herself. The method had been working… until last week, when word of Addison and Alex's relationship ending quickly echoed through the halls of Seattle Grace. Ever since then, the tension between both of them, which she had worked so hard to suppress, rapidly began to increase in size and intensity, developing into some kind of thick layer of anxiety that neither one would dare admit into existence. The angst that filled the air every time they were within ten feet of each other forced them to begin picking the stupidest fights imaginable, just so they could fill the silence with something, anything. It was only a matter of time before he reached his breaking point. Obviously it wouldn't be her due to her ingeniously crafty method of denial... or so she told herself.

Well, she could try and book it for the door before Alex had the chance to turn around and catch her starring at him in a weird confusion of inelegance and hesitation. She began seriously considering it… I mean she knew one of them was going to have to say something to the other at one point, but tonight was suppose to be about relaxation. Not fighting over who was justified in their means of breaking rules in life and other endlessly inconclusive shit. She was about to pull a straight up U-Turn and glide out the way she came in when she heard Joe amusingly call her name,

"Hey! Izzie!" Joe threw one arm up and continued wiping the bar counter with the other. "You goin' come grab a drink anytime soon or do you plan on standing in the middle of the bar the rest of the night?"

Izzie's face dropped… but she quickly replaced her frown with the biggest smile she could muster as she watched Alex's head turn in her direction out. She let out a light, stifled laugh and attempted walking as casually as she could toward where Alex sat, feeling the intensity of his stare the entire way. Swallowing hard she pressed play on her self-denial remote and let her eyes meet his. Her smile widened into a full-blown Izzie grin.

"Hi Alex," she managed. This should be fun.