Fix Me

Zoe's P.O.V.

After a grueling four-hour plane ride from New York to Mobile, I was tired and ready to be back in Bluebell. But first, I'd have to sit through an awkward car ride with Lavon. If I survived that, than maybe it was a good sign for my future in Bluebell. I was waiting for my luggage when I spotted him. He still looked like the same guy I left behind six months ago, but his face had changed. He seemed older somehow, if that was possible. It had only been six months, how much could have changed?

"Hey." He greeted me when he saw me waiting for my luggage. I was nervous for some reason, but I wasn't sure why. If this was how it felt to confront my best friend after six months, I can't imagine how it's going to be when I see everyone else.

"Hi." I pulled him into a hug so we could divert the conversation for a few more seconds. He hugged me back to my surprise, which eased my tension a small amount.

"Well, well, if it isn't our famous city doctor, returning to Bluebell. It's about damn time," He chuckled when we separated.

"It's good to be back," I let out a small laugh as he retrieved my bags for me. After a few minutes of conversation, we were chatting like I had never left. But I had, which I'm sure he was still upset about.

"Lavon, I'm really sorry for leaving the way I did. I should have told you and said a proper goodbye, I just couldn't handle it, to be honest. And I know that's not fair to you, or to anybody in Bluebell, but I had to get away. Please don't be mad at me," I begged when we were on our way home in his Navigator.

"We're not mad at you Zo, we're all just a little hurt. You told us you'd be gone for three months in an email, and then three months comes and goes with no word from you. We were worried." I think I would've felt less guilt if they had been mad at me.

"I know, and I'm sorry for that. But, I do have a reason for that, I'm just not ready to talk about it yet. I have to tell someone else first," I said what I had rehearsed on the plane. He must have noticed the fear in my voice, so he just nodded, accepting that I wasn't going to go into detail quite yet.

"Well, whenever you're ready, we're here." He grabbed my hand over the middle console and squeezed it supportively. We rolled up to the plantation around 4 in the afternoon, but I was already tired. I knew I had to see some people, but they've been waiting six months, what is a few more hours going to hurt? He dropped me off at the carriage house and helped me get my bags out of the car.

"Is he, is Wade, uh, does he-?"

"Yeah, he still lives at the gatehouse. But he's still pretty upset. He knows you're coming back today, but I'm not too sure he wants to see you. He was crushed when you didn't come home, and he's trying to move on. He was pretty angry when I left him this morning," Lavon recounted to me how he had struggled when I left.

"But he's doing okay for himself now, he bought the Rammer Jammer, he's taking classes in Mobile to get a bachelor's degree, he's really stepped up his game. He did it all to impress you when you came back," Lavon trailed off at the end of his sentence, not wanting to press me anymore about how I failed to return after the first three months of my stay in New York.

"But I didn't come back…"

"Yeah." He was sympathetic to both of us when we had split, knowing I was hurting from Wade cheating on me, and knowing that Wade practically hated himself for what he had done, but now, things seemed different. It seemed like Lavon had become Team Wade while I was away, and I couldn't blame him for that. He made sure I was settled into the carriage house before taking off back to the main house. He told me that I should come up for dinner though. I told him I'd be there and went inside to unpack. Fatigue overcame me though, so I only managed to pull out a pair of pajamas and my pills, put clean sheets on the bed, and snuggle into my new old home.

I woke up around six, and was glad that I had woken up in time for dinner, which was at seven. I hopped in the shower and washed all of the plane grime off of my body, and washed my hair. My hair was thinner than usual, and I knew it was only a matter of time. I stepped out of the shower and looked at myself in the mirror. I used to love my body and the way I looked, but now, I just looked like a bag of bones. There were dark circles under my eyes and I looked like I hadn't slept in days instead of refreshed, like I should have been after my nap. I sighed, knowing there was little I could do about it, except put on some makeup and a cute outfit. Wade must not have been home because I had my hair dryer plugged in along with my curler and the fuse box didn't blow. I put on a pair of my infamous short shorts, a tank top with a cardigan over top, and a pair of sandals. My hair was dull, but there wasn't much I could do about that. I put one of my favorite watches on and headed out of my house. The five minute walk to the main house left me lethargic now, which was unusual. I guess it was time to accept my fate and that I couldn't keep doing all of the things I used to.

"Zoe, I'm so glad you're back!" Annabeth greeted me as I walked through the back door. I hugged her and missed how comforting she was. I could've used her while I was in New York.

"Aww, thanks AB, I missed you too!" I said enthusiastically. It was just the three of us for dinner, so I sat down at the island while Lavon and AB cooked supper. Spaghetti was on the menu tonight. Lavon was stirring the sauce while AB was making the garlic bread and salad.

"So Zoe, tell us all about New York!" Annabeth pretended like she was enthralled with the city life, but she was just asking to make conversation.

"It was okay, lots of working, you know, that kind of stuff."

"So why did you stay so long?" Wade burst into the door right as Annabeth asked me that.

"I've been wonderin' the same thing Doc." He said in his joking manner, trying to convince me that he didn't care that I didn't come home, but from what Lavon told me, he was still upset.

"You know, just got wrapped up in my old job. I love it when my hands are in a warm body." I tried to make a joke, but everyone just looked at me like I had shown them pictures. I laughed uncomfortably at the tension in the room.

"Okay," Annabeth paused after my awkward comment, "well Zoe, do you want red or white tonight?"

"Oh, I'll just take a water," I said, hoping, but knowing it wouldn't happen, that no one would say anything.

"Well, well, given up the bottle Doc?"

"Yeah, I don't drink anymore," I trailed off as things got awkward again.

"So uh Wade, I heard you bought the Rammer Jammer, that's great!" I said as I looked at him, but he wouldn't look at me back.

"Yepp, that place is my pride and joy." He said, taking a swig of his beer. Lavon put the spaghetti on the table and Annabeth followed with the bread and salad.

The conversation was light over dinner, but it was as good as could be expected. Wade didn't seem like he was outwardly mad at her, but she knew he didn't want things to be back to normal the way she did.

"So Big Z, I found this place in Mobile that makes sushi, and I thought that maybe one of these days we could go up there, I know how much you like that sushi," Lavon offered, and made me feel worse and rejecting his offer.

"Oh, I would love that, but I'm not really eating sushi anymore either." Wade just chuckled and I felt the tears start to pool around my eyes.

"So you go to New York for six months and come back a whole new girl thinking you're better than us," Wade had hit his breaking point I guess and I could feel my heart break for the second time that year. Any hope I had for him and I was slowly being diminished with every passing second. He stood up from his seat at dinner and stormed through the back door. The three of us sat in silence for a minute before Lavon spoke up.

"He's just still not used to you being back, that's all. He didn't mean it." Annabeth rubbed my shoulder as I looked down at my plate.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come back. Thanks for the dinner, I'm just going to head home though," I said as I pushed back my chair and hid my face so they didn't see the tears that were threatening to fall.

"A few feet away home or New York home?" Lavon asked, and I knew he meant it with sincerity, but it just hurt my already hurting heart.

"Here home, I'm not leaving again." I turned around to face him, knowing he was going to see me crying anyway.

"Big Z, I didn't mean anything by it, I was just askin," Lavon felt bad that he had made me cry, but he knew in his heart that it wasn't him who brought on the tears.

"I know Lavon, I know. Thanks for dinner you guys. I'm going to go try and have that talk that I was telling you about," I mentioned to Lavon and he nodded. I shut the door behind me and headed around the pond to the gate house. It was dark, but I knew he was in there. Probably drinking another beer.

I knocked on the doorframe a few times and waited. When I didn't get an answer, I started to talk.

"Wade? I know you're in there, can you just hear me out? Please?" I stood on my tiptoes to see if I could find him through the screen door. He came up to the door, but didn't open it.

"What do you want Zoe? What's so important that you want to talk about now instead of three months ago when you said you'd be back?"

"Wade, I can explain, just-"

"Doc, I waited around for three months waiting for a text, an email, a phone call, anything to let me know that you were okay and you would still be coming home. When you didn't come home, I gave up hope that you would ever come back, so sorry if I'm a little surprised to see you." He said sarcastically, but with anger in his voice.

"Wade, I wanted to come home after three months, I wanted to be with you! My bags were all but packed ready to come home, but…"

"You know what Zoe, you can't just waltz back into Bluebell like nothing ever happened, like you didn't leave for six months, and expect everything to be the same. You can't come to my door expecting for me to sweep you off your feet and feel the same way I did when you left! Six months is a long time!" He was yelling now, and I knew that Lavon and Annabeth could probably hear us if they were trying to listen.

"Wade, I'm telling you, I wanted to come home, I was ready to be with you, to be serious and have all of it with you, but I couldn't! You don't understand!" I yelled back and he pushed open the screen door and joined me outside. I backed away from the door and over to the side of the porch. I didn't want him to see me cry either. I looked out onto the plantation and took a breath.

"Then make me understand! Because as far as I can see, you were just being selfish and weren't thinking about the people you left behind!" His voice was laced with anger as he walked up behind me.

"I couldn't come home because I was sick Wade. I am sick."