Okay, so I've had this in my folder forever. I just recently re-stumbled upon it and decided to post. Send me a review and tell me what you think. My life depends upon it.
Disclaimer: I don't own this crap.
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Ron was standing by the screen door, arms crossed, eyes following his young son as he ran back and forth across the yard, attempting to catch bugs.
"Hermione?" he asked, his voice deadly calm.
"Mhmm?" she asked absentmindedly from the kitchen, where she was attempting to cook something.
"Why does Vincent have black hair?"
Hermione stopped what she was doing immediately and jerked her head up, a look of panic flashing across her face.
"I..I don't know," she stuttered. "Luck of the draw, I guess?" she chuckled halfheartedly. "It happens all the time."
"I guess," Ron replied, tipping his head to the side in a quizzical manner. "But why does he have green eyes?"
Hermione's eyes flashed once more. "I don't know! Stop asking me these stupid questions! I think my grandmother had green eyes. Maybe he got them from her."
"I guess," he said once more, but he didn't sound sure.
"Why does he need glasses?"
"I don't know! Stop it with these damn questions!"
"'Cause I'm starting to think that you might have had s-"
"I DIDN'T HAVE SEX WITH HARRY!"
Ron looked relieved. "That's good. I was worried there for a minute."
Hermione was breathing hard, spoon in hand, a wild look on her face.
"Look," she started. "Since I'm all busy cooking and everything," she gestured to the overflowing pots on the stove, "why don't you take Vincent over to the mall and get him that new toy he's been wanting. He'll scream until he gets it."
Ron nodded happily. "Sure thing honey."
"Come on Vince!" he called out the door. "We're going to the mall!"
When Vincent got inside, he was crying. "The...the other kids w..won't play with m..me," he sobbed. "They s..ss..said I was w..w..eird!" With this declaration, he collapsed on the floor and curled up into a ball.
"Aww, cheer up emo kid," Ron said kindly.
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The end, suckas.