This was my O/S for the SuperheroVillain Contest put on by the lovely Simone and Marie and Mouse555. I CAME IN SECOND PLACE along with 3 others. Thanks so much if you voted for my story. If your reading it for the first time...then I hope you enjoy it. And as always...thanks to my awesome beta Dragonfly336 for helping me out with this side project. She rocks as always.

PenName: fanofsilvervolvos4life

Twitter Handle: marriedmyedward

SuperHero/Villain: Spiderward & Wonderella

Title: WTF?

Word Count: 2941

Genre: Humor/Romance

Rating: M

Summary: Edward Mason gets bitten by something that changes his life forever...in more ways than one.

So, you're probably wondering how I became who I am today right? As you probably already guessed, I wasn't born this way, I was created. My name is Edward Mason and this is my story...

October 2001

I sat at my desk, as I typed away at a story I'd been working on that was due the next day. I worked for the Daily Gazette as one of their top reporters. The story was about the sudden rise in crime in the few months prior. Living in the city, you were bound to get criminals here and there, but there had been nonstop crime sprees across town for the past two months, with no sign of letting up.

As I typed away, I started to feel something crawl up my leg. Before I got the chance to squish whatever it was, I felt an excruciating pain.

"AH! What the fuck?" I yelled as I shook my pant leg to get whatever it was out of my pants. It fell out and I saw what looked like a spider.

"Oh...You're dead you little fucker," I said as I brought my shoe down on the spider, squishing it. Not too much time passed and I started to feel like I was going to throw up. Then I noticed that I was sweating and starting to shake. Oh no! This can't be good.

Luckily, I had finished my story right before I got bit. I quickly emailed it to my boss, James Jameson (yeah...his parents must have hated him.) I packed up for the night and decided to go home and sleep off whatever it was that I was coming down with.

By the time I got home, I had sweat through my clothes to the point that I could have wrung them out and got at least a cup of sweat. I kicked off my shoes and went right to my room and plopped myself down onto my bed, without bothering to undress myself.

I woke up in the middle of the night and looked at my clock. Midnight. Damn. I was actually feeling better, just a little hungry, considering I had slept thought dinner. I got out of bed and made myself some breakfast for dinner, cereal and toast, and turned on the TV to watch a lame-ass sitcom. I took a sip of my milk and when I went to set it down I found that the glass was sticking to my hand and wouldn't come off.

"What the fuck?" I shook my hand a little bit, so I didn't spill the milk but it wouldn't come off. I looked at my other hand and noticed what looked like a silky material sitting on my hand. Next thing I know, something was flying at my face.

"Oh! Son of a bitch! Really? What the fuck?" Whatever was on my hand, suddenly flew off and landed on my face. I took it off my face and threw it away. Now that there's nothing on that hand anymore, I was able to pry the glass out of my other hand. As soon as I got the glass off, the 'stuff' flew from my hand and landed on the wall. As I looked at it, I noticed that it was a spider web.

"Well, that's interesting," I said as I studied it. I looked at my hands and noticed that they weren't sticky anymore, but I did have these 'spots' on my wrists that had mini spider webs on them. That's where the spider web must have come from. Not my hand but my wrists. At that moment, something on TV caught my attention...

We interrupt this program to bring you this special report...Doctor Carlisle Cullen's lab, DinaLab Corporations, was broken into last night. In the process, some of the radioactive spiders that Doctor Cullen was working with, got loose and were never found. If you think you see one, they ask that you please don't touch it and call authorities immediately...

"Well, what the fuck?...What happened if you were bit by one, eh?" As cool as my new party trick was , I really didn't know what to think. I started to think of all these crazy things that I might be able to do with my new 'skills' I've acquired. Hmm...I wonder...

I ran outside to the roof of my apartment building, so I could conduct some tests in order to see what I really was capable of doing. When I reached the top, I looked around to see what I could test out first. I decided that I needed to figure out this shooting-out-webs-from-my-wrists trick.

"Um...Fly web!" I said but nothing happened.

"OK...How 'bout...Abra Cadabra!" Still nothing.

"Go go gadget web!" and once again, nothing.

"Well shit. How the fuck do I get you to work?" I asked aloud, as I threw my hands up in the air. When I brought my hands down, a web shot out of my wrist and landed on part of the building's upper wall. Now, instead of it being just a web, it was more like a rope and still connected to my wrist. Mmm k? I wonder if this thing would hold my body weight? I decided to test out my theory.

I leaned back and pulled up one leg, then the other so all I was doing was dangling there by this web. It was holding my weight with no problems. Unbelievable! I decided to test it even further. I stood back on the ground and stepped back as far as I could. Then I made myself swing out like I was on a tire swing. Oh, no way! This is so sweet! I swung back and forth twice. On my second time, I suddenly felt like I was flying.

"OH FUCKING SHIT!" I landed hard on the roof, flat on my back, knocking the wind out of me.

"Uh...That's gonna hurt later," I groaned as I stood myself back up again. Just then, I started to hear somebody giggle. I turned around as quickly as I could, considering the fall I had just taken, but I didn't see anybody.

"Hello, who's there?" I don't get an answer.

"Hello?" I said again. I got this tingling sensation as though something was trying to tell me that somebody was right behind me. I turned around.

"It looks as though you are in need of some help there, killer." It's a woman dressed up in some sort of costume. She actually looked pretty hot in it because it's very form fitting, if you know what I mean.

"So...what? Are you heading to a costume party or something?" She just laughed.

"No. Not exactly."

"So, what are you doing parading around in a skin tight outfit that...excuse me for being so bold, but makes you look hot as hell in the middle of the night, in the middle of the city, where there has been a bad rush of criminals lately? You're just asking for trouble looking like that, if you ask me."

"Well, first off, I wasn't asking you. Second, the name is Wonderella, but you can just call me Bella. And third, would you like my help or not?" My, she is a feisty one...Daddy likey! I gave her my best Edward Masen panty-dropping smile and chuckled to myself.

"OK, Bella or Underwear or whatever you call yourself. If you think you're so smart, I'll allow you to help me," I said, a bit on the annoyed side.

"Well shit. You can forget it. With an attitude like that mister, I wouldn't even give you directions to the nearest bathroom. I'd let you shit yourself first," and she started to walk away.

"No! Wait. I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated with what's going on with me." She turned around and started walking towards me.

"That's more like it. Apology accepted," she said with a wink and a smile. Oh feisty and cheeky! Cute.

We spent the rest of the night and into the butt crack of dawn working out what I could do and how I could use all my abilities. I found out that I could swing from building to building, object to object. I could even scale the walls of buildings. What else did I learn? Well, I learned that I really enjoyed the company of Bella. From that day forward, we have been inseparable so to speak...

Present Day

"Ah! Oh my God! Edward!"

"Mm. That's right baby. Let me here you cum," I say to her as I reach down and pinch her swollen clit.

"Fuuuuuck!" Oh how I love to hear that dirty word come out of her mouth.

"Oh God, Bella! You're so fucking sexy," I tell her as I pump into her hard a few more times before I'm falling over the edge. I collapse on top of her and we just lay there, trying to catch our breath.

"Oh my," she says through a giggle, "That was amazing baby." She leans in for a chaste kiss.

"Mhm. That was pretty amazing wasn't it?" I chuckle.

"Indeed."

"It's my mad skills, I tell ya." Bella starts laughing.

"And what exactly is so funny, Mrs. Masen?"

"I have considered radioactive spiders and kryptonite..." she laughs even harder and I see the tears forming from her laughing so hard, "for the reason behind your mad skills."

"Wow. Way to kill a man's ego," I put on a fake pout, cause I know she thinks my pout is cute. "Besides, you're thinking of your ex-boyfriend from back in the day. He's the one that couldn't handle the kryptonite shit. Not me. Radioactive spiders on the other hand..." I grab her and pull her on top of me, "they could have something to do with it." Bella bends down and kisses me. The kiss turns into something a bit more heated and we start to work on round two. Then I hear the most annoying sound in the world. I hear my phone ring.

"Shit. Really? Man," I whine and reach for my phone, but Bella smacks at my hand and brings me in for another kiss.

"Let it ring," she whispers between our kiss. I pull away.

"As much as I would love to continue this love, you know we can't. It's the Chief." I pick up the phone.

"Hello Chief Swan. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Hey. We have a situation. Do you think you and the wifey could give us a hand in controlling it?"

"Sure thing. We will be right there in a few minutes." I hang up.

Yup. Bella and I have been married for nine years, ever since that fateful night when I met her out on that roof...the night I got my powers. We are just as much in love as on our wedding day, if not more. We have been a team, in more ways than one. We work together now for the city fighting crime. Kind of like a Batman and Robin of the real world, only I get to sleep with my partner.

We get dressed in all black, so nobody can catch us moving in the darkness, and we are off to see Chief Swan. When we get there, Charlie briefs us on what is going on.

"Doc Oc is at it again." Doc Oc is Doctor Carlisle Cullen. After the radioactive spider incident, he had gone missing for a few years and when he came back, he became his alter ego, Doc Oc. Somehow, instead of giving him spider powers of sorts, when he got bit, it turned him into this eight-legged, octopus-type thing. So he goes around calling himself Doc Oc. Real cute, right? "He's robbed a few banks recently and we were just tipped off that he's going to be robbing a bank over on the other side of the city. Do you think you can stop him in time?"

"Leave that to us Chief Swan," Bella says to him.

"Yes, you have nothing to worry about. We'll get him back in jail in no time. Hopefully this time he'll stay there," I say. With that, Bella and I leave to take care of Doc Oc.

We go to the bank on foot. Bella is super fast, so she ran as I swung from lap post to buildings. As we got closer, I could feel my spidey senses tingle (that's what Bella dubbed it when I get the feeling of danger or just the feeling that something isn't right). I knew Doc Oc would be close by.

We arrive and, low and behold, he's there holding up the bank demanding money. Let the fun begin!

Bella and I walk into the bank.

"Hold it Doc Oc," I say.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Wonderella and Spiderward. And what exactly are you going to do to stop me?"

I shoot a stream of web at him and it closes around Doc Oc, so he can't get away.

"That should hold you for a little while. Till the cops get here of course," Bella says. No sooner did she say that, the cops show up.

"What the fuck? Can I just say, I wish we had some smarter criminals out here. At least then it would be a little bit more challenging at least. These idiots deserve a Darwin Award for sure."

Bella just laughs.

"Well, think of it this way, at least now we get to go back home and pick up where we left off." Bella picks me up and throws me on her back, "Hold on tight there, spider monkey. This could be a bumpy ride." Like the wind, Bella makes a mad dash to our home and we make it there in record time.

By the time we walk through the door, she has taken my shirt off and is missing hers. I throw her up against the wall and let her feel what she is doing to me. We kiss each other with such passion that I don't know how much longer I can hold off before I have to be inside her.

"Mm. Spiderward's spidey senses are tingling in places I didn't know they could," I say in the third person, which was sort of weird, but hey...what can ya do? The next thing I know, we are both naked and Bella is up against the wall again, with her legs wrapped around my waist. I want her so bad I can almost taste it. I kiss her again and with one swift move, I'm inside her. We both groan with the sensation of her being full and me of being wrapped around the warmth of her pussy. I start to thrust inside her, slowly at first then it turns into full out pumping in her, so hard that I would be afraid of breaking Bella, but judging by the most beautiful sounds she is making, I'm thinking she isn't afraid of being broken.

"Oh Edward. You feel amazing."

"So do you baby," I whisper to her through pants.

"I love you."

"God, I love you too. Ah! More than you know, Bella."

"Say it again."

"I love you."

She shakes her head and does this moan that is just so animalistic that I almost lose it.

"No, say my name." I smile.

"Bella." I whisper to her as I nibble on her ear. She screams again.

"Oh God! Again!"

"Bella" I say it louder this time.

"Edwaaaaard!" This time I feel her clench me inside her now dripping wet sex.

"Oh God, Bellaaaaaa!" And I'm spent.

We slide down the wall and just lay in each other's arms in a pile. You can't tell whose leg is whose at this point. I like it that way. We lay there for what seems like hours, just holding each other and enjoying each other's company. I kiss Bella on the top of the head.

"What do you say we head for bed love?"

"That sounds wonderful. After two romps with you in one day and a not so exciting arrest with a very dumb criminal, I'm pooped."

"Good." I pick her up bridal style and carry her to our bed. I pull the covers back once we get there and tuck her in. Then I jump in and cuddle right behind her in the spooning position, our naked bodies touching. This is my favorite part of sex. Not only does it feel good, but I love to cuddle with her after. She is the love of my life after all. Bella cranks her neck so she can see me and smiles.

"I love you. Sweet dreams love." Then she kisses me.

"I love you too. Sleepy tight," I say to her as I kiss her neck and hold her close.

And with that, we fall asleep, cuddling as close as possible, enjoying each other's company and feeling like the luckiest people on earth.