I slammed the door of my dormitory shut and stood there with my back leaning against the door. I don't know why but my breathing was heavy and fast. I could actually feel the anger inside me, bubble and bamble and coming upwards. I don't know which but some part of me wanted to hit, hit very hard, slam and tear it apart. I was so angry I swear I could've killed someone. I knew I did right by locking myself in, it was best at the time to stay away from the crowd.

I walked over to my bookshelf and pulled out about half a dozen books, then I don't know what got hold of me, I threw them one by one on my closed window. Some of them crashed and fell and some tore apart. I walked over to my dressing table and knocked out everything that came to my hand. I was so furious that I didn't realize the tears coming out of my eyes.

Suddenly all the energy that I had was lost. My head was in a whirl and extraordinarily heavy, my ankles ached like they were going to break. I dropped to the ground in sobs. I hugged my elbows to my chest and cried hard.

I recalled everything, everything that I did not want to recall. My mum told me that she wasn't going to help me with anything. Anything at all, not with my social problems not with my school work, nothing. My friends think that I am fat and ugly. They say they don't "mean" it and its just kind of "fun" but I take it very seriously. Its not that these things happen to be recent, no this is been going on for months. 3 months to be exact. People think I am a crybaby; I am a vulnerable person then let me tell you they aren't wrong.

I packed up the strength and walked up to my bed and plopped in. I pulled over my blanket over my chin and closed my eyes, letting the tears fall. Sleeping has always been a solution to all my problems. Sleeping is good, it makes you forget everything for a while; makes you feel okay. Before I closed my eyes I took a last look at the dorm. The last thing that caught my eyes was the books. I always read love stories and friendship stories. This brought everything back again. I furiously closed my eyes again.

But somewhere in the back of my mind I was thinking about it. I wanted the door to be knocked, for someone to enter, someone to whom I could talk. I waited for several minutes but it was all silent. I knew the common room must be empty as no one else was allowed in the heads' quarters other than me and James. I still had a hope that Marlene would come or maybe Alice or anyone. I just wanted someone.

But the door remained absolutely silent. Why is t that I keep my expectations so high? I know this isn't a story, that everything can't be perfect; that life isn't a movie…it's sometimes not fair.

But my heart was not going to listen. I wanted to be held tight, to be comforted a little, to be understood. I wanted someone, anyone to look me in the eye and ask me what's wrong, if everything's okay, when I just say "I'm fine".

I felt horrible and that's how it was. That day I died a little inside.

A/N- so? How's everybody else doing? Well if you like this story let me tell you it's not over. I'll be uploading the next chapter as soon as I can….its bust nowadays. So just review and let me know if you want to read next or I don't have a problem leaving it like this.

Me006