Disclaimer: I own nothing. All characters and stories belong to NBC and Dick Wolf.
A/N: Post Aftershock. Jack thinks about Claire's death. I will be mentioning this scene in Breathing, so if you want background to this specific scene, here it is. Please review. Love, Lawabidingchild.
Never
Jack was waiting at his apartment for Claire. They were going to meet that night. After what they had just witnessed, he wanted to be with her, despite how drunk he got earlier in the day.
And yet Claire wasn't showing up yet. Maybe she got hung up in traffic. Jack didn't see the point in calling to bug her about her tardiness. She could take as much time as she needed, with every single thing that happened that day.
Just then his phone rang. He stumbled over to the phone and snatched the receiver out of the phone-jack. "McCoy," he answered gruffly.
"Hey Jack," said a slurred but sad voice over the phone.
"Briscoe?" asked Jack. He was in shock that he came in contact with his number. "What's going on? We have another case?"
"I'm at the hospital," answered Lennie. "I have bad news."
"You have cancer?" asked Jack, befuddled by his response.
"No," answered Jack, "though that sounds much better than what I have to tell you."
"Well just spit it out Briscoe! I'm waiting for someone here!"
"If that someone is Claire Kincaid, she won't be coming anytime soon. In fact, she won't be coming at all."
"What are you saying?" asked Jack, clearly confused at what he was trying to say.
"Claire is dead, Jack," Lennie breathed over the phone.
"What?" asked Jack, not comprehending the situation.
"She came to find me drowning my sorrows at the bar where I found you. I had too much to drink, against my AA meeting's wishes, and she was driving me home. We were hit by some jackass on the way back. He hit the driver's side, Jack. That was the side Clarie was in, and she was killed instantly. I'm so sorry Jack."
Jack had no response to this. He just stood there, staring out into the space of his apartment, knowing that for the next decade, it will be devoid of a human relationship ever happening again. Claire was gone. She was gone for good, and was never coming back. Jack still held the receiver in his hand, his body trembling with despair and anger at the entire world. "Jack?" called Lennie softly. "Jack?"
Jack slammed the receiver down. He knew that the bearer of bad news wasn't much of a comfort. That didn't matter anyway. He just stood there in his kitchen, trembling in deep, dark despair.
He slowly made his way over to the bedroom. This wasn't the walk to the bedroom that he wanted tonight. He wanted to be able to hold Claire's hand and make love to her over and over again. He wanted to cradle her naked form as she slept and nestle his head in her hair. That wasn't going to happen. Not tonight.
He stared at his bed. He thought about all the times he ravished her there, making love to her as if they were going to die the next day. In this case, that was the end result. He thought about all of the times he heard her laugh and all the times she cried. He thought about all the times she tried to help him and he tried to do the same.
In the end, she was gone. There was no one there anymore. He couldn't turn to her and wrap her in his arms. That relationship ended, and it wasn't what he wanted.
His body shook as he trembled his way over to his oak bureau of drawers. He slid the top one out with ease. He pulled out two items- a jewelry box and a hand-written letter. The letter was a letter of transfer request. He wanted to transfer to another bureau in the office so he could work with someone else. The box is the reason why he wanted to do that. Claire was all he wanted to be with in the end. The letter would let him be free to do that.
Inside the box was a diamond engagement ring. His eyes swam with tears, knowing he wouldn't be able to give it to her.