THANKFUL

Part One.

Their options were low.

Changes would have to be made.

They had a year before they ran out of habitable planets.

But there was a chance, a very small chance, that they might have finally found a home.

She awoke confused, blinking against the dim light about her, but the pain was a reminder of what had passed. The dangers of living in outer space were never long out of the minds of those on Moonbase Alpha. That fear was suddenly replaced with grief. Her hands splayed beside her underneath the cover immediately moved to her abdomen and, for a horrific anguish-filled moment, she thought she knew what had happened.

But then he was there, at her bedside, looking down at her – gently smiling.

"John?" she nearly wept.

"Thank God." He whispered, bending over by her bedside, touching her cheek. Carefully, he kissed her forehead, "I've never been so afraid …"

She pulled her hand from underneath the sheet and grasped his. "Is he … well?"

"He's perfect." John Koenig moved away slightly, allowing her to see the baby in its incubator. It was small, weighing in at just under eight pounds, but he was quite striking; a fair boy yet he had his father's dark hair. Later, Helena would note their child also had John's eyes. However, as time move forward, he would display her smile and temperament.

But now, she was merely delighted to see him move, a tiny hand lifting as if to say: "Hi Mom!". He was healthy and, in her mind, flawless.

"Do you remember what happened?" Koenig asked her and tensed a little as Helena looked up at him, appearing slightly confused, resting her head on the bed's firmly cushioned pillow. He gently squeezed her hand, "It doesn't matter if …"

"I was outside of Command Center, talking with Yasko … and there was pain." She searched her mind, "My abdomen felt like it was suddenly on fire. I told her to call Medical Center. I saw blood on my leg then … nothing."

Koenig took a breath and nodded. He had to tell her something but was not entirely certain how to approach it.

Months ago, when Helena told him she was going to have his child John was, at first, anxious. He did not tell her of his misgivings but knew, once the child restriction laws on Alpha had been lifted, Helena grew curious about their future. She wanted to know if her husband, the man she had wedded only months before, was interested in raising a family. It wasn't the first time the subject had been broached but it had never been so real, a true prospect, until that moment of reckoning. He remembered her none-verbal disappointment when he merely said, "Someday." without sincere commitment. John hadn't meant it to sound indifferent, as if he was dismissing the entire idea, but in truth while the notion of fatherhood sounded appealing, he genuinely feared what might happen to Helena if things should go wrong.

Perhaps he was being selfish, but John had already lost too many people he loved both on Earth and on Moonbase Alpha. If anything happened to her as a result of birthing his child he was not altogether certain he could handle the aftermath. Others might think Commander Koenig was strong enough to withstand the heartache, but few really knew what was in John's heart, the emotions he kept in check. No one, that is, but the woman laying in bed beside him.

And perhaps these uneasy feelings had been a premonition.

After the first six months, Helena's pregnancy was moving along well and John warmed to the idea. As her belly grew, as the Commander watched the woman he loved take her own measurements, preparing their quarters for a new baby - and having brought him the well-received news that she and the baby were healthy - Koenig was happy. But then Helena started to become abnormally exhausted. Dr. Vincent put her on bed-rest but it was hard to keep Helena still, especially when there was so much to do. She was not the only woman on Alpha who was expecting and the more doctors they had on hand the better.

When he got the call, the Commander was with Carter in their Eagle hanger. He and Alan's talk of a new fuel source, how to potentially give their Eagles a boost in the deep darkness of space they were approaching, suddenly became far less important than Maya's urgent report that Helena had been taken to Medical Center. At first Koenig thought it was an announcement that she had gone into labor. It was nearly her time after all. But when Maya told him she had collapsed – it was a nightmare come true.

He had allowed himself the greedy indulgence of believing they would grow old together, with or without children, and now he was being callously punished for such contented daydreams. Even if Helena lived, would the loss of their baby drive a wedge between them? So many ill thoughts raced through John Koenig's mind as he waited, his friends taking in his demeanor, and he was more than aware of his pathetic behavior, something his people were not used to. But perhaps this once it was allowed. He needed Helena alive, for Alpha, for their child, and most especially for him.

Alan, Tony and Maya were by his side, often in shifts. They spoke gently to him, Maya being particularly encouraging, even though he could see they were just as worried as himself.

But then, hours later, Dr. Vincent came out of the operating theatre into the waiting room, pulling down his mask, and announced the child was alive and well – and Helena would recover.

The relief was like a physical blow to his body. The Commander could hear but barely acknowledge the joyful "Congratulations!" being shouted in his direction. Yet, there was more, something looming, and Koenig could see it on Vincent's conflicted face. He met the doctor's eyes and asked, "What is it?"

The jubilation ceased as the others also looked at Ben Vincent, catching onto the seriousness of the moment.

Koenig stood still, prepared for the worst.

"It is a rather private matter, Commander." Vincent hesitated, noting the on-lookers.

"Tell us." Koenig demanded. They had all been through so much together. He knew Helena would want whatever Dr. Vincent said to not be a secret from them.

"The hemorrhage was significant, and she is going to take a while to recuperate. We had to take steps to keep mother and child alive. I am afraid Helena will not be able to have another baby."

If Dr. Vincent or the others understood how this piece of information made him feel, thankful more than saddened, they might have thought him a miserable self-centered ogre. Koenig could only nod, hiding his relief. If he had ever believed in God, this was the time for it. Yet now, at her bedside, informing Helena of this development, he was uneasy and worried for her spirit. If she ever thought they might have another little one she was about to be sorely disappointed. All he could do was be there for her, loving her and the one new life they brought into the world together.

"Then little A.J. is our first and last." Helena said calmly, exhausted, her expression pensive but not altogether wretched. The baby's name came to them one night; a blending of their father's names. Aaron James Koenig. Again, she looked over at the bundle beside her bed, "I suppose it would have been difficult to improve upon perfection." She said, gently chuckling.

Unable to properly speak the words of love and heartfelt assuagement he felt, John merely took her hand in his and kissed it. He had a family, the love of his life and a handsome son. John tried to prevent the tears from rolling down his cheeks as she smiled up at him.

Two beautiful days passed. Helena and Aaron James had been moved to their quarters, a nurse or doctor a mere comlock call away should they need help, and John was a very proud father. He rocked A.J., feeding him with a bottle, and loved the little boy without question. Weak but content, Helena lay in bed, resting, and cherished watching them. She thought matters could only get better.

That was until John put the little one to sleep and told her they needed to talk.

At her bedside, he told Helena that the planet was a one-week Eagle flight away. It showed all the right signs. It could be their new home but without an immediate exploration they might lose it. They would only have eight hours to remove everything they needed from Alpha if it checked out, which would normally take them twenty-four hours to do. Any head start they managed could only be a plus. "In other words, if I am there to radio in, to tell our people it's time to get started even before the moon is in range, we will have more than enough time for an Exodus."

"But why do you have to go?" Helena asked, disappointed, glancing at A.J. in his basinet. She needed him here, with her and their new baby. Perhaps it was merely fatigue, not to mention some lingering pain, making Helena apprehensive and needy, but she did not want John to leave her.

He lifted a hand and gently touched her cheek, "I need to be there to give the okay, Helena. You know that. I have to see it for myself, make certain we can live there, without the fear of an overly anxious recon party making all the wrong decisions." He knew it sounded as if he did not trust his crew but, the planet being one of their few last chances, Koenig had reason to be hands-on. "If it was for any other reason, they would not be able to pry me from your side, Helena, but this could be it. This might be our new start. A.J. will have a home, a world to grow up on."

His fingers moved from her cheek to rest on her shoulder. "Tell me you understand."

"I do." She said begrudgingly after a pause. Helena took an in-draw of breath and met his eyes with her own. "I do understand." Then she allowed a small self-indulgent smile, "I just wish I could go with you."

They chuckled together gently.

He and the reconnaissance crew, including Maya and Alan, left the following morning.

She was asleep when the first alarm, Yellow Alert, sounded.

Helena had taken medication a few hours before, something to make the pain lessen as well as help her sleep, after returning from seeing John and the others off. She should not have been out of bed but even Dr. Vincent saw the psychological need for the couple to say their goodbyes. A week was a vey long time to be without a mate, especially when she was now also taking care of a three day old baby.

Tony promised John he would watch over Helena and A. J. while he was away and the Commander, in turn, told Verdeschi he would make sure Maya would come to no harm. After all, he had to return the Psychon so he could be best man at their wedding.

"A marriage," Maya had said, "That will take place on a lush new world if everything works out!"

She nuzzled Tony's ear and Helena exchanged a smile with John, delighted their friends had finally taken the next step in their relationship.

As the travel tube doors slid open, as their equipment was being transferred inside, Helena put her arms around John and whispered quietly into his ear. It was an endearment meant for no one else but the man she loved. Helena sighed as his forehead touched her own.

"We'll be back before you know it." He murmured.

Helena suddenly felt something cold touch the back of her scalp. Later she would call it a forewarning.

When the second alarm sounded two minutes later, Red Alert, Helena sat up in bed and immediately looked over into A.J.'s bed. He was not there. She panicked but only for a moment, recalling the nurse taking the baby to Medical Center, to the nursery, so Helena could sleep quietly, without interruption.

"All personnel, please brace for potential impact!"

"Wha …?" Helena heard Tony Verdeschi's voice over the compost and again that moment of absolute dread touched the back of her scalp. She quickly slipped on her robe and pushed feet into slippers, still a bit wobblily on her feet, and made her way to Command Center. When she got there, disheveled and confused, a flurry of activity met Helena's eyes and ears. She looked to the big screen, where only a few stars remained, and was horrified by what she did not see. "Tony, where is the Eagle?" she called, her voice weak but demanding.

He turned to glance at her as Sandra approached and took Helena's arm. She was escorted by their data analyst to an empty chair. Sandra and Tony's lack of explanation served to make Helena even more nervous.

"Tony? What has happened?"

"The Eagle has disappeared, Helena." Verdeschi finally said, not looking at her. His eyes appeared hard but red as he looked at their Big Screen, hiding a plethora of emotions he did not dare display. "It vanished into a warp. John, Alan … Maya." His voice cracked ever so slightly at the mention of her name, "The entire reconnaissance crew is gone." And for a moment, he thought they would follow. But it did not happen. The moon was on its normal trajectory. Tony touched a button, "Security, stand down."

Helena could feel a squeeze on her upper arm.

Sandra's expression was as miserable as her own. "I am so sorry." she whispered.

They searched for hours, days, and even weeks hoping for the impossible.

As the moon pulled out of range, as the planet they had been so eager to colonize disappeared from view, the Alphans knew there was nothing more they could do. The moonbase would limp on without its Commander, Science Officer, Chief Eagle pilot and the rest - but their loved-ones would never quite get over the loss.

"There it is, John!" Alan Carter caught the blip on his console, "It's Alpha! We found her."

Hours had passed and the controlled panic they all felt finally had reason to ease-up.

Steiner and Rossie, the two men rounding out their recon party, could be heard cheering in the back of the Eagle.

"Alan, if I ever had reason to call you anything other than the best pilot in the galaxy, I take it all back now." Koenig pressed a few buttons to get a visual of the moon. He wanted, more than anything, to speak with Helena. She was probably panic-stricken when they lost contact and for good reason. Still, that would have to wait. "Moonbase Alpha, this is Eagle Three. Please respond."

Alan chuckled as Maya came through the doorway and kneeled between the two men, "I can't take all of the credit." He said, "Maya darlin, I'm not certain we could have found the moon again without you."

"Thank you." She acknowledged his compliment, "But the Commander has been through this before. A year ago he and Tony had to find Alpha after the same kind of incident."

Yes, they remembered. It had been a frightening and potentially devastating event. He could only imagine what Helena and the rest were going through then - and once again. "We can't keep doing this kind of thing. One of these days we may never make it back." He quipped.

Maya sighed gently as they approached the moon, "I am going to have to develop a warp detection system."

"You can do that?" Alan asked, wondering if she was joking.

"Not overnight, of course, but it can be done." She replied. "We just have to …" Maya paused, looking about at the stars from the window before she and the men. Her lovely but unusual brows crinkled ever so slightly. Something was off. "Commander …" she started.

Koenig had caught it too. The configuration of the stars about them was incorrect.

Also, there was no planet. Where had it gone?

All they saw was the moon …

"We are in different space." Maya moved back to her science console and pressed in a few synchronized calculations. She came back to them nearly shaking, "Our on-board computer says we are nearly two hundred light years away from our previous position, Commander!"

"That cannot be possible. The warp must have done something to our instruments." Alan reasoned.

"Moonbase Alpha," Koenig called, firmer. "This is Commander Koenig in Eagle Three. Respond."

Hesitation. Then:

"Eagle Three?" came a familiar voice but no image had come up on the screen.

Maya pulled out her comlock, "Alpha, this is Maya. We are not receiving visual. Please correct to coordinate C-38."

The silence from the other end was nearly unbearable.

Then: "This is Moonbase Alpha but you can't be … It's impossible!"

"Tony, this is John Koenig! What is wrong with you down there? Acknowledge us!"

His image came up on the Eagle's screen. It was Tony Verdeschi, dashing as always, but he was different somehow. A small scar was near his right eye and he seemed tired – and older.

"Tony, our instruments are reading different space. Somehow Eagle Three and the moon have been tossed millions of light years from our last position. It must have something to do with the warp we came from but … What does Computer say is the reason?"

They could hear voices in the background, confusion and a little dread.

"I don't believe it." Someone said to Verdeschi off camera, "It checks out. That really is Eagle Three, Commander!"

It took Koenig a few seconds to realize that the operative was referring to Tony as her Commander.

"John," Tony looked down at the reading in his hands, "I don't know how to tell you … but we are exactly where we are supposed to be. We have been traveling space for a very long time. You went through that warp and we lost all contact with you."

"Yes, we know that, Tony. But we managed to get through it. You had to have followed us."

"No, we did not." Verdeschi's voice was resolute, "We lost all contact with you. John, we thought you were dead and gone … but we continued to travel."

John, Alan, and Maya looked at one another, a horrible understanding dawning on their faces.

"That was ten years ago, John!"

END OF PART ONE.