Love Hurts and Heals
"Do you think its just so easy?" Derek asked him bitterly.
Scott looked at him with folded arms. The two of them were in the burned out Hale house discussing either his favorite or least favorite person depending on his mood- Stiles Stilinski. Scott had confronted him about the obvious conflicted feelings he has for his best friend and how it contributes to his aggression issues. Predictably, Derek hadn't taken it well. He more than anyone hated being confronted about his own personal stuff.
"Oh of course its easy for you," Derek went on, his voice becoming sarcastic. "You're just a child Scott. You think what you know from your relationship with Allison is love. Well that isn't all there is to it. Love can hurt Scott. It can kill."
Derek paused and drew in a deep breath, his face contorting with sadness.
"You can't do that Derek," Scott spoke fiercely. "You can't compare Stiles to Kate."
"I'm not comparing him to Kate," Derek spat in shock. "Where did that come from?"
"Well its who you bring up everytime something confronts you with your feelings," Scott pointed out. "You have feelings for Stiles. Admit it."
Derek frowned, his eyes shifting to red and then back.
"Even if I did, you don't understand," Derek growled. "You've never been hurt by love like I have. Love betrayed me. It was my fault. I let Kate in. I'm really scared to let someone else in."
"Stiles isn't someone else," Scott replied. "You keep bringing Kate into this. You can't do that. Stiles cares about you. He saved your life!"
Derek's stomach twisted as McCall spoke the truth. Stiles had saved him. He'd saved him on more than one occasion. Yet why was he acknowledging this? He was letting his walls down too much. McCall was feeding into his emotions and reading him like a book right now.
"Why does this matter to you anyway?" Derek asked, attempting to hedge.
"Because Stiles is my friend," Scott answered honestly. "You are too Derek, for what that's worth. I know he cares about you, and you know it. He feels strongly for you, maybe even loves you."
"I just stop," Derek commanded. "He's a child. You're a child for that matter."
"Think what you want Derek," Scott said sadly, shaking his head. "All I know is that you're the one hurting you right now. Stiles can help you. Love can hurt, but it can also heal. Yet you refuse it because you won't let yourself love again."
The truth hit home so hard that Derek could cry, but he of course composed himself. He'd been having these same doubts in his mind. What if he let Stiles in? What if he allowed himself to love?
"I'm done telling you what to do Derek," Scott spoke in a low voice. "Just know that Stiles loves you and would never betray you like Kate did. You know it. I don't even need to say it. Now all that needs to happen is for you to really accept that. To actually allow yourself to love."
"Did Stilinski send you to tell me all of this?" Derek questioned gruffly.
"No," Scott answered. "But I'm sure this is what he would tell you if he didn't respect your wishes so much. He lets you close yourself off Derek. He wants to give you so much more, but he won't make the first move. Stiles is very loyal and he'll honor your wishes. Are you going to keep shutting him out? He may be loyal, but that doesn't mean he won't find someone else. If you keep shutting him out you might lose him."
Derek's heart sank in his chest. Lose Stiles? Just the thought of it made him feel even sadder and more alone.
"You don't have to Derek," Scott pressed him gently. "Go to him. Tell him."
Derek looked away from his fellow wolf in deep thought. When he looked back Scott had gone. He really had gotten fast. Derek started running. He knew where he needed to be. It took him a minute to reach the Stilinski residence with his wolf speed. The light was on in Stiles' bedroom. Derek's stomach flipped nervously. Was he ready to do this? He jumped and landed on the roof without even a stumble. He tapped at the window and Stiles gave a start when he saw who it was. The boy opened it and let him in with a chuckle.
"Geez Derek, give a guy a heart attack," Stiles exclaimed.
"Sorry," Derek apologized quickly. "I needed to talk."
"That's usually how it goes," Stiles smirked. "What is it?"
Derek surprised him by grabbing hold of his hand in a flash. Stiles almost stepped back from him, but Derek's intense glare became softer, almost imploring.
"Stiles please listen to me," Derek almost whispered. "I know I've been shitty to you at times."
"Understatement of the year," Stiles muttered.
Derek chuckled, but ignored the interruption.
"The truth is, I care about you a lot, but I'm scared," Derek told him. "I've been hurt by love. I'm scared to love."
Stiles felt a great sympathy for Derek combined with the great and boundless love he had for this man. He smiled gently and squeezed the hand that held his gently.
"Its okay to be scared," Stiles told him softly. "I'm here for you."
"I know," Derek said with a small smile. "I'm finally starting to see that. I try to shut your love out and keep my walls in tact, but the more I try the more your light shines through and into me."
Derek pauses and eyes him as though he finds it very hard to say what he wants to say.
"What are you trying to say?" Stiles asks in a whisper, his eyes intense with need.
"I can't lose you," Derek replies in a low voice, gently palming Stiles' cheek. "I won't lose you. I'm saying...that I need your love. The love that once betrayed me, hurt me, took everything from me- I believe that your love can heal me. I'm tired of feeling alone and empty inside, and all because of my own stubborness. I'm saying what I've wanted to say for so long Stiles...that I love you."
Stiles was giving him that cheesy half-smile, but Derek could see the happiness in his eyes at his confession, as well as sense the desire coming off of him.
"I love you too Sourwolf," Stiles replied with a little laugh. "You make it hard sometimes, but gods do I love you."
Derek gave him the widest smile he'd seen yet before gently bringing their lips together. Stiles gently kissed back and wrapped his arms around Derek. In response the wolf brought up his hands to cup Stiles' cheeks and deepened the kiss, gently licking at the boy's pouty lips to open for him. Stiles gladly complied. He was everything Derek had ever wanted in his life. He was what completed him. Stiles was his. His soul partner- his mate.