Summary: ER and Andromeda… Again, this time a little longer and a little more twisted.
Disclaimer: Icefemina- Yeah, yeah I don't own ER, but if I did…blah, blah, blah…I'd be with Ray…yeah. Thought-DEATH! They're not mine. They're really not. Don't believe me? Fine! Don't! I'll go hide in the corner.
Authors' Note: Yeah…um it's special, and we really should play our instruments in band class… Oh and please note the different spellings of Abbi/Abby. A-B-B-Y is Abby Lockhart, and A-B-B-I is the Abbi Laynce (or me if you must be specific)
Unexpected II: Things We Never Thought Would Happen AKA Holy Shit!
Scene 1Int: Chandra and Abbi are sitting in the band storage room.
Chandra: (flies across floor into cupboard on moveable chair) Wheeeeee!
Abbi: You loser!
Chandra: DEATH! It is coming for you!
Abbi: You said that when I sent off that email, too.
Chandra: ER should die! It has George Clooney! Ewwww!
(Sound bongo drums)
Abbi: If ER should die, so should Andromeda. I mean it has Kevin Sorbo!
Chandra: But, but, but Tyr! He's too hot to die!
Abbi: So are Ray and Carter! God they're both hot!
Chandra: Tyr! Rhade! Hell, even Harper could be considered cute!
Abbi: Ewwwww!
Chandra: Ohhhhhh! Can I knock that over? (Points to singular music stand in the corner)
Abbi: No! I'll kill you if you do!
Chandra: (wheels towards stand. Big flash of light™. Both girls appear in large round room) what the hell?
Abbi: What the frell did you do to us?
Chandra: I didn't do it!
Abbi: Yes you did! You tipped over the music stand!
(People appear in corner. Enter John Carter and Abby Lockhart, MD's)
Chandra: Um…I didn't have time to tip it over. Hey…who's over there? You know, its pretty bad when I'm blind and I notice the creepy people who probably want to kill us before you do.
Abbi: Why do I recognize them? Ewww what are they doing? Get off of her! There are kids in the room!
Chandra: Oh, God. No, no, no! I will kill things. And kill them again. And…then I'll kill them again!
Abby: Where are we? I told you we should have done it in the supply closet instead of drug lockup. Now God knows what tranquillizers we're laying on.
Chandra: Thank you for that piece of information! At least Andromeda people have the cuticle to keep it in their own rooms! Accept for that one time in the gym. But they weren't really, you know, doing it. I think!
(Another person appears. Enter Ray Barnett, MD)
Ray: Where the hell are we?
Carter:(jumps up) Ray! You didn't see anything!
Abbi: Oh my God! You're Ray! I love you more then words can describe! (Runs, hugs, and won't let go)
Chandra: You are an embarrassment. I don't know you. I don't. I'm not here by the way.
Abbi: Hey, if my favorite TV show characters are here…
Ray: TV Show?
(Doors blow open in very large explosion)
Tyr: Freeze!
Rommie: What the hell?
Beka: Um this is screwed up, guys!
Chandra: Oh, Okay! That's cool! Hello.
Beka: Who are you people?
Abby: Who are you? And what are those things on your arms?
Carter: (waves hands around) Okay, Okay! What the hell is going on here? And who are you people?
Abbi: I'm Abbi Laynce, you're biggest fan! Especially yours, Ray! And Abby you're my hero! And John, you're my idol!
Carter: How do you know us?
Chandra: For the love of God, do not get her started!
Abbi: You're my favorite TV show! ER! Started in 1994 when you were just a med student!
Chandra: I'm coming over to stand with the nice people with guns now. (Gets out of wheelie chair and throws it across the floor at Abbi)
Tyr: (shoots it in mid role)
Chandra: Good thing I wasn't on that!
Beka: Tyr! You can't shoot everything you see!
Rommie: Yeah. I reserve that privilege, as a warship. I get to blow things up. Yes. Me. Not you, Tyr, okay?
Carter: Okay, can we carry on with finding out who's who?
Chandra: Well I'm Chandra. I hate you people. But Luka should be with Abby. Not that I ever watched the show. Because I haven't. George, freaking, Clooney was on it, for God's sake! And this is Tyr! HE is hot! He has many different guns. This is Beka, she is my hero. I met her actress. And this is Rommie. She is cool. She blows things up. My best friend Mia is just like her. Oh, and that's Abbi. She's my band pal. As well as one of my best friends. She is odd. I don't know her. I'm shutting up now.
Abbi: This is Ray. He is my hero. He is incredibly hot. He should marry me. Or at least Shane West. Because Ray isn't real.
Ray: Hey! Since when am I not real?
Chandra: Ouch! Brain Aneurism.
Carter: Can we figure out a way to get out of here?
Tyr: Who are you?
Abby: We're doctors from Cook County General in Chicago.
Chandra: We're…um…people. Student people. With…no lives. We play instruments. Just, not today. And we weren't skipping, by the way. And we, um, don't encourage violence at all. (Grabs one of Tyr's guns and begins to pet it).
Tyr: Give that back!
Chandra: Can I have a knife instead?
Tyr: (tosses dagger toward ER people) Catch!
Chandra: Ohhhhhhhh! Pretty! And so very shiny! Mine! (Runs after knife).
Carter: You realize that that could be considered attempted murder?
Tyr: I kill people all the time. What's your point?
Beka: No kidding! What crawled up your ass and died?
Rommie: I'm a warship! Of course I'm gonna kill people. It's my job!
Tyr: Yes!
Abby: Okay, lets just rationalize and figure out a way to get out of here!
Beka: Oh, um, okay! Shouldn't we figure out where here is first!
(Large flash of light™ deposits Luka and Dylan in the middle of the room).
Abby: (screams) Oh my God! What is that thing!
Beka: Hey!