I stood there on that ship, the warm wind brushing against all of us that day. He had his back facing me, walking coolly towards the end of the ship.
Don't walk away... I cried silently. Don't leave me here…!
"Wait!" Rikku yelled as I darted towards him. I couldn't care less. Tears blurred my vision but I still saw him turning his whole body around to face me. I opened my arms for him but I fell right through him and hit the ground. Hard. The cold surface of the ship snapped me back to reality.
I saw a pyrefly escape through the ship, missing my face by inches. It was funny that I had never felt so grieved when I saw a pyrefly, especially at the Moonflow. But when I knew that that pyrefly belonged to him, I felt like I could die on that cold, steel floor.
"Let's all come back!" I remembered Tidus say when he saw the pyreflies for the first time. He looked so happy, so excited. "After we beat Sin, we'll come back!" At that time, I was sure that I'd die after I beat Sin. But when I found out that I wouldn't die, I was reborn and I knew that'd I'd live longer to stay with him. But I didn't know that by sending the aeons, fayth and souls back, I would be sending him as well.
It was then, lying motionlessly on that ship that day, I knew that I couldn't do anything else to save him. Even if I was the one who killed Sin without sacrificing my life.
Even if I loved him so much that I'd just give up living without him.
I got up and straightened myself, trying to hold back the tears that are forcing its way out of my eyes. I tilted my head upwards to look at the red sky above me and the three words I wanted to say to him for so long escaped my lips. After a long moment of silence, I felt him hold me, even though his arms passed through my body. Everything we wanted to say to each other poured in and our emotions were mixed up. After another long silence, he walked through me and started to walk towards the end of the ship.
I stood there, the wind coming from the back. He ran, and jumped off the ship.
I felt like my feelings died when the wind stopped that day.
It has been a year since he left my life. I was in Besaid, waking up from a deep sleep.
"Yo! Sleepyhead!" I head a familiar voice. I rubbed my eyes and focused on a big, figure that was standing in front of me.
I gave a small smile and rubbed my left eye. "Good morning, Wakka."
"How'd ya sleep?" Wakka said with his hands on his hips, bending towards me.
"F… Fine." I blurted out.
"Hey! Remember! Blitzball tournament today!" Wakka said, straightening himself up and chuckling a bit. "Even though I'm no longer capt'n, I gotta support my team, ya?"
I nodded sleepily. "Yeah."
"Aight then. I'll see you in a bit, yah." Wakka said, gave a small wave and walked towards the door.
I waited for Wakka to exit then I plopped myself on the bed again. I had one arm on my eyes and I tried to shake off the sleepy feeling.
What did I dream about last night? I thought. It's funny; I woke up with a weird sensation. Like I dreamt of something big but I can't remember a thing.
I remembered a blitzball… What else?
Tidus.
Tears immediately started to flood my eyed and I lay there, trying to wipe it all away. I cupped my lips to try to not cry but a sob still escaped my lips and I closed my eyes in pain.
It has been one year since he's gone but the pain got worse each and every day.
"Yuna?" I head a voice echo throughout my room. I immediately took a sheet and covered myself, trying to pretend that I'm still asleep. I tried to stop myself from crying and I heard footsteps come closer to me.
"Yuna? Are you awake?"
"Huh…? What…?" I said, trying to sound very sleepy. Then a sob accidentally escaped my lips.
"Yuna, are you crying?"
"Lulu, I'm fine." I said stubbornly, my voice sounded shaky and I pulled the sheets closer to me but Lulu pulled it off and caught me with weepy, red eyes. I sat up in my bed and Lulu pulled me closer to her. I cried loud and hard and Lulu hushed me, stroking my hair.
My sobs became softer after a few minutes and Lulu said "Yuna, I know how it feels to lose someone you love. But maybe it's a good thing."
"Oh! How can you say that?" I snapped, pulling myself away from her.
"I don't know either." Lulu said, avoiding my gaze. "But someday you will realize that you have to move on."
I didn't say anything and I stormed out of my room angrily, leaving Lulu sitting on my bed with the same expression she's always had.
How could she! I cried. Then I noticed that Besaid's Blitzballers were huddling around Wakka. I wiped my tears away and kept on walking, trying not to attract attention.
"Yo! Yuna!" I heard him call over the commotion the team was making.
There goes my plan.
I turned around and smiled at him, trying to hide the fact that I had been crying. "Yes?"
"Before we reach Luca, I need to make a stop somewhere."
"Oh?" I said, curious.
"I'll be quick. Promise. But this means we have to be leave in about half an hour, ya?"
"Oh. Alright." I said in a polite voice. "Where do you want to go?"
"Someplace. You'll… probably like it there… or not… I don't know about you."
I kept silent for a while, wondering what exactly he meant.
"Alright. Half an hour." I said, nodding.
"I'll give you a little spoiler ya. One of the places I wanna go is the Farplane."
At that moment I felt like an Ice dagger stabbed me in the heart.
I didn't say anything and I quickened my pace. I walked towards the beach. When I got there, I screamed.
Why the Farplane? Why? It's going to make things so much harder for me!
And before I knew it, we were on our way to the Farplane. We were walking past the Moonflow where I saw millions of those pyreflies
And the emotions and memories keep flooding in.
Even though they look so beautiful, they represent death, literally.
I couldn't stop wondering if one of those pyreflies belonged to Tidus. I scanned the Moonflow, hoping that I would recognize it.
Even though it was stupid for me to try, I still did.
"Yuna? You okay?" Wakka asked me.
I nodded weakly, turning my gaze away from the Moonflow.
"I'm fine." I said as I hung my head low and kept walking.
"I'm sorry for doing this to ya, Yuna." Wakka said, walking beside me while Lulu and the Blitzball team was way ahead of us, laughing and making jokes.
"It's alright." I said in a weak voice, trying hard to not look at him.
"It's just that… While on the pilgrimage I felt… I dunno… stronger. I just want the team to feel the way I've felt when I was out there protecting you." Wakka said, scratching the back of his head and bowed. "I'm sorry, yah."
I didn't say anything and kept walking.
It wasn't long until we reached the Farplane. I stayed outside while Kimahri sat on the stairs, not saying a word.
I was dwelling on my own thoughts, trying hard not to think of Tidus. But then suddenly I head a whistle – loud and clear. It unmistakably belonged to him. I immediately darted towards the sound which was in the Farplane. I ran up the stairs and when I reached the landing, I looked around hastily and saw Wakka side-by-side with Lulu and in the Farplane was Wakka's younger brother, Chappu. Wakka frequently scratched the back of his head, like he was saying something embarrassing but then suddenly Lulu stepped back, as if in shock and Wakka turned to her and started explaining something to her. She had her hands to her face and I heard Wakka laugh nervously. Then after a long silence, Lulu nodded and she fell in Wakka's arms and he stroked her hair. They stayed in their embrace for a long time.
It figures. Wakka has been planning to ask Lulu's hand in marriage ever since I defeated Sin.
Then I darted around to look for the source of the sound but I saw nothing more.
"Tidus?" I called out aloud then a familiar figure took shape in the Farplane. I squinted hard to see who it was and my eyes widened when I realized who it was.
It was him.
"Tidus?" I called out, running towards the edge of the platform.
He just stood there, motionlessly, just like everyone in the Farplane. I almost cried, knowing that he's dead. But when I looked at him, every memory I had of him was revived and I found myself smiling at him.
Then suddenly he moved. He took out something from his back and threw it towards me. I took a step back and the object make a clanking sound as it grinded with the earth beneath it.
A sphere?
I turned around to see if Wakka and Lulu saw it. They didn't. They were still talking to Chappu, both of them holding hands.
I hastily picked up the sphere and turned it on. I saw an unknown part of the Farplane – a waterfall. Tidus was in full view and he smiled happily while holding the sphere.
"Yuna." I heard him say, despite the crackling of the sphere. "I'm so sorry… For everything. I accepted my death for all the things I did that made you cry, like saying 'Let's beat Sin' and stuff like that when I didn't know that you'd give up your life for it."
I wiped my tears away and looked closer to the sphere, trying hard to hear what he wanted to say.
"Yuna. I crackle bzzt Yuna." Then suddenly the whole sphere went blank.
"Yuna?" I head Wakka say and I heard their footsteps. I got up, my back facing them.
"Yuna? Are you okay? You seem pale. And is that… Tidus?" Lulu said.
I didn't react. Suddenly I imagined myself on that same ship. But this time, I stood a lot further up the ship than I was that day. Suddenly I heard someone call out my name.
"Yuna!" I head Tidus's voice call out. I turned around I saw Tidus dart towards me.
I switched places with him?
I knew it was an illusion – I saw pyreflies darting around in my space – my vivid dream.
I held my arms out for him but he passed through me and I heard a thud from behind me. Looking around me, I saw pyreflies escaping my body.
"Thank you." I head Tidus say and I turned around.
I'm feeling what he felt that day… Oh god, it hurts.
I walked up towards him and hugged him from the back and he held my arms. After we parted our long embrace, I passed through him and walked towards the end of the ship.
"Yuna!" I heard Wakka yell and it snapped me out of my illusion. I stopped to see that I was in the Farplane again. Tidus was still over at the other end, looking as blank as ever.
I didn't care.
I ran towards him and I jumped – hearing a gasp escape from Wakka and Lulu.
I jumped towards Tidus and he opened his arms and caught me.
And we fell into the darkness, with pyreflies in hues of blue and green encircling us.
"Tidus?" I said softly.
"Hm?" He said, stroking my hair. We fell slowly in the dark vector, the pyreflies still encircling us.
"Sing me a lullaby." I said as I closed my eyes sleepily.
Then he sang me the song of the Fayth. His warm voice echoed throughout my mind and I fell into a deep sleep… Not knowing that I wouldn't wake up the next day.
It's my story.
And I made sure it'll end on a happy note.
