"Legolas, what do your Elf eyes see?"

The Prince stood upon the hilltop, and then fear entered his blue eyes. "Fangirls! Aragorn, I see fangirls! They come with their hair flying in the wind, and they scream atrociously!"

The future King of Gondor left dignity to the wind. "Come on, Legolas! Válar! Let's get out of here!"

The blonde Elf panicked and dashed after his friend. He had faced down many things great and terrible, but the shrill cries of "Leggy! Gornie!" screeched in piercing repetition cowed him.

A stampede shook the Plains of Rohan as the Elf and Dúnadan fled for their lives. "I'm already betrothed!" shouted Aragorn above the trampling footsteps and the shrieks. "Why can't they understand that?!"

Legolas snorted at his friend's stupidity. "If that stopped them, I would have been betrothed long ago!" (Later, they found Gimli sitting stunned on a small hillock. He had been ignored in the rush)

"Shouldn't we face them?" panted Aragorn. "W-we have to find the Hobbits, right?"

Legolas gestured wildly. "Be my guest! Maybe we can double around into Fangorn? Surely even the bravest of Fangirls and OCs' would not go there?"

"You forget that-Aaaaaahhhhhhh!" Aragorn screamed, jumping behind Legolas. Out of Fangorn Forest a girl came dashing, her long golden hair spun like gossamer silk flying behind her. "The Hobbits! I have found them! But the evil Huorns would have taken them, had it not been for me!" she cried, and swooned delicately in Legolas's arms. Or would, had not the Elf jumped back. As it was, the unfortunate hit the ground with a heavy thud. The moment's delay had cost them. They were surrounded by mobs of Mary-Sues and Fangirls, and the very sight of such beautiful women wearing practically nothing made both Aragorn and Legolas blush. "I'm Bella!" hollered a young woman, shouldering her way viciously to pluck at Legolas's sleeve. "Edward broke up with me, so that's why I'm here!"

Legolas squinted at her. After the blinding flares of golden and horribly dyed hair, the luxuriant brown was a welcome relief to his eyes. She smiled up at him, obviously feeling quite satisfied now. Aragorn was panicking. "What will happen?" he whispered. "I cannot kill young women, not even the insanely beautiful and idiotic."

Legolas happened to be in the same strait as well. There was no chance to the run; they were wholly surrounded by jabbering girls. "Arwen will kill me." Aragorn moaned, as a girl, who announced herself as Melodella came forward, wearing practically nothing but the thinnest of linen nightdresses.

"Arwen. Who's Arwen?" she crooned, clinging to him. "I'm your true love, remember?"

Aragorn stared at her blankly. "No."

It is not recorded how they escaped, but it is assumed that Gandalf or the Riddermark assisted them. After picking up Gimli, who was rather beaten up, they continued on their way, and the prospect of Mordor scared away even the bravest of Mary-Sues. But when peace was established in Gondor, and Legolas, who looked even better in a forest, had settled in Ithilien, then troubles of the most dastardly kind ensued.

Because who doth not love Aragorn or Legolas?