A/N : hey guys! this is my first fanfic, and I was hoping it would be epic! B) anyways, please read and review! Dunno what to put here so... JELLYBEANS! c;

No, I do not own PJATO; or do I... 0_o

CHAPTER I

- we live, we die, we eat nachos -

Great, just great. I am stuck here, in this giant blue mouse, forever. Perfect. Well, I've got the time, so why don't I just tell you how I got here. It wasn't pretty. By the way; the name is Percy Jackson, and I'm in massive trouble.

Most of this can be linked back to when I was twelve. My math teacher tried to rip my head off on a field trip and I basically vaporized her with a magic pen / sword. Yeah, strange day. But this mess happened while I was visiting my very beautiful, ( who am I kidding, she's gorgeous ) girlfriend.

I was walking down the street to her private school. It was fall, there was a salty ocean breeze in the air, I was skipping class again; overall a good day.

About the skipping class... You see, I had been finding myself doing it for a while; about three months if you wanna be exact. School was normal, yes, and my life could use a lot more normal, but recently I've been having this... this strange feeling. Like if I'm in the hallway and I look out a window, I'll feel like the window is a doorway outside, like I have to... escape the school. Weird, I know but that was the main reason I was skipping class, and that was the dumbest decision of my entire year.

Walking down the Manhattan street I came to an alley between a bread factory and my girlfriend's school. I turned back down the familiar dark stretch and saw the familiar dumpster with the familiar black cat glaring at me. Then I noticed something different. A man was standing on the opposite side of the dumpster. He was shortish, with long, lean arms crossed over his small chest. He wore a large, black hood and a ripped denim jacket. He was leaning against the bread factory and from experience, I was worried. Nothing good came from strangers.

I finally turned my attention away from the strange man to the back door of Annabeth's dorm. About her school: boys are not allowed. Ever. Luckily, her dorm was at the back of the complex and the back door was out of site. I knocked. Normally, she would sneak over to the door and quietly open it so she wouldn't wake her roommate, Peppa. ( No, not pepper. I made that mistake once. Never. Again. ) For some reason, this time, something different happened.

I heard crashing inside, and loud banging, then some muffled screaming and scuffle sounds. That was enough evidence for me. I smashed on the door with my fist, and started hitting it with my shoulder. The strange man moved from behind the dumpster. Oh great, I thought, here we go. I pulled Riptide from my pocket and uncapped it. " Touch me and you die. " I mumbled, anger boiling. Something was hurting my girlfriend, and this weird fool was trying to stop me. He wold regret that.

More muffled screaming came from inside an then a knife blade blasted from the door, two inches from my face. I was Annabeth's knife. There was blood on it. "ANNABETH!" I screamed, fear level rising dramatically. "ANNABETH!"

The hooded man was on me. He moved with inhuman speed and that couldn't be good. He was smaller and heavier than my first guesses about him. I turned, round and round, cursing him and I crashed into the bread factory wall. The man fell off and I whirled around, holding Riptide ready. Then I caught a glimpse of his face. This thing was not human.

He was ugly, first of all. Like that jacked up creature in lord of the rings that kept saying "precious. my precious." He was bald as well. Two beady, little eyes glared up at me. They were pure black. His face was skeletal, and pale as a vampire. He had extremely thin, pencil lips that were pulled back in a snarl to reveal tiny, pointed yellow teeth.

It looked like someone had taken a baby, whacked it with a frying pan, run over it with a lawn mower and then dumped it in hell. This was a face, not even a mother could love.

He ran at me again with inhuman speed, jumping on my chest and pulling a sack over my head. It all happened so fast, I had no idea what was going on until something whacked me upside the head. Hard. Then it was lights out and the world faded away...

~o_o~o_o~o_o~o_o~o_o~

I woke up, floating on a giant blue waffle next to a skinny bald dude with no teeth and eating nachos. Oh yeah, Annabeth was there as well. The skinny bald dude was a skeleton. You could see every one of his ribs and his feet looked like claws. He was grinning at me, his old, wrinkled face beaming and his mouth had zero teeth. Literally, nothing. I looked at him, the blue waffle I was sitting on, and Annabeth sleeping next to me. Annabeth! I checked her breathing and she looked peaceful enough without any giant, bloody wounds or gashes in her head. Okay... So what now?

Only one way to find out. I took a deep breath and ask the man. " Where are we?" He grinned and licked the cheese off his fingers. "Well Sony, I reckon we ain't no where. Nowhere of anywheres." He spoke with a loud, country accent and a friendly gleam on his face. " What's going on?" I asked, trying to at least get one reasonable answer. " Well Sony... Yer dead!" He burst out laughing and slapped his knees, smiling like this was the best news in the world.

"I-I'm dead?"

"Yessir."

"B-but why?"

"Dunno."

"What are you?"

"Dead."

"Who are you?"

"Dunno."

"Why are we on a floating blue waffle?"

"Flapjacks are good."

"What?"

"Wanna nacho?"

"Yes." I said and took a blue nacho and ate it. It wasn't all that bad. I was dead. Flapjacks are good. And we're gonna need a lot more nachos...

Ta-da! So again, this is my first story, and I would really love reviews! c:

I LOVE REVIEWS ALMOST AS MUCH AS I LOVE JELLYBEANS!