After watching each episode of Victorious I was always left wishing I had more insight into Jade's mind. The character Jade West is so three dimentional and gives way to so many possible storylines, even if there only in my head. Since we've never seen freshman year on the show, how the original group of friends met, and how Beck and Jade came to be this story takes place in Jade's point of view. I chose to write Jade's diary entries to write from her perspective. I have also written sophomore, junior, and senior year in Jade's perspective. They are all written I just have to upload so check back if you are interested.
Freshman Year
The Eve Before High School August 2009
I begin this journal today as it is the first day of high school at Hollywood Arts. I know writing in a diary is all kinds of lame and girly so I am calling this a journal. Every performer towards the end of their career, or when they are trying to save their fledgling career, writes their autobiography. Unless they want someone that doesn't know what the chiz they are talking about writing it for them, you do it yourself. If you're a no talented sham of a celebrity you have a ghost writer. I would not need that. So I am writing in this journal to document my life from here on out. I will try to be truthful when I write so that the events in my life are properly documented. I also like to write so this gives me practice and perhaps will one day provide inspiration. A therapist my mom once dragged me to also said writing my feelings out could me therapeutic. Whatever.
So who am I at this point in my life? I'm 14 and start Hollywood Arts tomorrow. I use to be really into ballet. Don't get me wrong I hate pink tutus but you would be surprised that there are actually few pink tutus once you get past dance class at around age six. I was on track to be a prima ballerina and dance professionally. However, my tall and lanky body grew into a much too tall and pubescent body. When I injured my leg it was the final nail in my dancing coffin. I couldn't control that and it was difficult to deal with, my mother took me to yet another shrink. That shrink said I was just going through a phase with my dark clothes and unenthusiastic demeanor. Trust me, I was never that enthusiastic or into pink girly clothes at any point in my life. I had severe colic as a baby. Perhaps that was caused by the frilly pink clothes my mother dressed me in. This was also the point in which I had seen the movie Mermaids and knew that Winona Rider's character and I shared a soul in many aspects, it gave me hope. My mother knew that if she would take a moment to be honest with herself. I knew I couldn't control what had happened to my ballet dreams. My mother informed me that the same thing had happened to her and every serious ballerina dancer lives in fear from the ages of 10-16 as they wait for puberty to strike. The fear of injury also looms constant and that career ending injury happened to me. I tore my Achilles tendon and had to get surgery. During my recovery time I was missing some of the most valuable ballet practice that occurs in one's entire career. Those pubescent years make or break a dancer and weeds the weak out of the dance studio. Don't get me wrong I can still kick ass at pirouettes. If I had really wanted to I could have probably made a comeback when many of my peers would not have been able to do so.
The death of my ballet dream still hurts but I also found a new dream that I focused on during my recovery. That new dream is why I am going to Hollywood Arts. Ballet is a performance, it is acting. Since I couldn't do ballet I joined school plays with a new passion, went to a few acting workshops, and took more acting and singing lessons. Performing has always been my focus; I'm just focusing on a few new aspects of performing. I went to a fancy private school from pre k to 8th. I hated it there. Everyone had to dress the same and everyone but me acted the same way. No one liked me, well this one kid, Sinjin, felt otherwise, but once I figured out how to scare people he kept his distance. I liked no one. I highly doubt HA will be any different. It's not that I don't want friends. I don't like sitting alone, although I do like my quiet time. It's just that I find people really annoying and uninteresting. I don't have anything in common with most people either. I like to read, write, act, sing (not stupid Ginger Fox songs),use scissors, and watch movies (good ones.) Maybe at HA there will be less annoying people that interest me. I'm not holding my breath.
Now onto my home life: My parents divorced because my dad is a serial cheater and my mom finally got a backbone and kicked him out. It was a long bitter divorce that finally became official when I was eleven. My dad remarried last year. Kelly pretty much stays out of my way. She's fifteen years younger than my dad, Daniel, and is your typical blonde California girl. She's from Malibu. She worked as a secretary or something, that's how she met my father. They met shortly after my father dropped his latest whore shortly after the divorce was final. Now that my dad has a wife to keep house and keep an eye on me I am actually expected to go to his house on his allotted weekends and holidays. Kelly is now pregnant. Oh joy. Apparently since my dad so enjoyed fathering me he decided to try fatherhood again. My father's a lawyer that specializes in business law. I assume that means he helps people find loopholes so that they can get away with what would otherwise be white collar crime. He gets paid very well and lives in Beverly Hills. He is from Montecito and my mother is from Napa Valley. They meant when my father was in law school and my mother was in college. My mother works at an art museum. She says she always wanted to be an actress or ballerina but never had the guts to really try so she supports my desire and demanded that my father allow me to go to HA. She didn't work until she filed for divorce. My mother and I moved to an apartment in Hollywood and a few weeks ago we moved into a house in the Hollywood Hills. My mother and I get along ok but now she is barley home, either at work or regaining the life she gave up when she married Daniel West. When my father isn't ignoring me he is complaining to me about how I turned out. He blames my mother. He thinks HA is a waste of time. I don't care what he thinks. I don't care what anyone thinks.
The most cause of concern for my parents, teachers, and therapists is my dark personality. I was never scared of the dark. I love horror films and books. I wear a lot of black, not because it is slimming, because I like it. As a child I always used the black crayon. When my parents fought and ignored me I broke things with a hammer or cut them up with scissors. I tend to be a loner but am not afraid to tell people what I think. My mother took me to a few therapists when I was younger. They all assured my mother that nothing was wrong with me mentally and I was just going through a phase. A phase my ass, unless the definition of a phase is one's entire life! This is just my personality. So deal with it world!