Gale and I sat guarding Peeta's tent. I could tell by his faint snore, quiet as a whisper that he was asleep. "He's struggling you know," Gale's voice broke the silence "somewhere in the back of his mind he still loves you and it's conflicting with his distorted memories."
The capitol had captured Peeta and changed his memories so he hates Katniss. That's why he has guards.
I don't respond because I could never hope for such a miracle, no matter how much I want it to be. "And you will always love him."
This statement caught me off guard, but I gained composure quick enough to catch Gale's arm before he could storm off. "Hey that's not fair I …"
"No Katniss you know what's not fair, waiting all this time for you to make a decision that will never happen!" Gale was practically shouting.
"Gale, quiet down!"
"No you be quiet! This whole time I have hung onto a strand of hope that you would choose me but I knew you wouldn't!"
"Gale now you're not being fair to yourself, I …."
"I love you Katniss and I would do anything to be with you, but as long as he is still around," he points an accusing finger in Peeta's direction "you will never let yourself forget him and move on!"
"I would choose, I hate seeing you upset, but I just can't bring myself to decide." Even I can hear the desperation in my voice.
Gale was silent and still for several minutes with a far of cloudy gaze, but it felt like an eternity. Near the end of the silence a single tear slipped down his cheek, sparkling in the moonlight. He quickly wiped it away and tightened his jaw "Then I'll make it easier for you, leave me alone and don't make this harder than it needs to be."
Then, without a sound he stalks away on hunter silent feet; my hunting partner's silent feet.
The story continues as written except there is much tension between Gale and Katniss. The only person Katniss has to talk to is Finnick, and he only agrees with Gale "You should have made the decision long ago." Finnick's opinion is my opinion!
Katniss's team enters the capitol and makes their way through the streets. A large, seemingly never-ending stream of white reptiles is chasing them through the sewers. They emerge and are escaping a pool of toxic waste by crossing a bridge and climbing a ladder to the exit of the sewers. Katniss is up the ladder, Finnick and Gale are behind her.
I begin frantically pulling people up off the ladder. Peeta. Cressida. That's it.
What have I done? What have I abandoned the others to? I'm scrambling back down the ladder when one of my boots kicks someone.
"Climb." Finnick barks at me. I'm back up, hauling him in, peering into the gloom for more. When I realized Gale wasn't there I started after him but Finnick's arms held me back. "No." Finnick turns my face to him. Uniform shredded, gaping wound in the side of his neck.
"No Katniss, he said he would stay behind to hold them off. You can't save him now."
"But he'll die down there!" I'm still struggling, but Finnick has an iron grip.
"Katniss he has nothing to live for anymore; his family died and you already killed his heart, let him die in peace. His death wish is for you to be safe, let him have his last moment of satisfaction. Don't let him die in vain."
There's a human cry from below. "He's still alive," I plead.
"No Katniss, he's not coming," Says Finnick "Only the mutts are."
Unable to accept it, I shine the light from Cressida's gun down the shaft. Far below, I can just make out Gale, struggling to hang on as three mutts tear at him. As one yanks back his head to take the death bite, something bizarre happens. It's as if I'm Gale, watching images of my life flash by. A forest of towering trees, my laugh, Effie Trinket announcing the tributes, me kissing Peeta, broken glass, me in a hospital bed, me crying, him screaming at me. Then it's over.
Katniss blows up the mutts, they begin to run but Peeta isn't moving. Peeta goes into changed mode, fighting hard not to kill Katniss, she kisses him, and he comes back. They keep running, trying to reach the president.
Katniss becomes a depressed zombie, not really acknowledging anything as they move through the streets disguised as people living in the capitol. Finally troops overtake the city and Snow surrenders. But not before he sets of a bomb, murdering the capitol children who had gathered in the safest part of the city.
Prim, my mother, and other paramedics scramble to save the children that might have survived. While Finnick kneels beside me to bandage a scrape I must have gotten when the force of the blast knocked me down, Peeta stands there and watches all the commotion. All the people running to help their enemies out of compassion, regular human emotions.
And then it hits me, Snow would never give up as easily as he did unless he was going to go out with a bang. Then my memory recalls Gale talking to Beetee about traps incorporating human emotions….
"Finnick we need to get them out of there!" I yell over the voices "What are you talking about?" Finnick gives me a look like I am a crazy loon. I'm about to tell him it's a trap when I realize Peeta is already sprinting towards my mother and sister. I'm about to explain what's wrong when another explosion rocks the ground and makes my ears ring, and I am thrown back into a cement wall and black out.
Katniss is taken into intensive care for spinal injuries, stays there for 1-2 weeks. While there she is regularly updated on the state of Panem.
The next couple of days go by in a blur. Or are they weeks? People come and go, speaking to me in words blurred together by the morphling, but I catch words here and there like better, rebuilt, and president Coin. The words that really get to me are Annie, Finnick, pregnant, twins, girl, and boy, happy. Those are the only words I care to hear, the words of happiness in the lives of people I care for. One time Finnick and Annie came to visit me, almost jumping with joy. They told me the perspective names but only one stood out, Primrose Odair.
The name caught me off guard I had never even thought of my family and friends, even the people who were more than friends to me, in a very long time. After that, thoughts of them consumed me; they were all I could think about. Prim, mom, Gale, Peeta. My life, my heart, dead, gone.
Visitors came and went same as usual. Then one day someone spoke many words I cared enough to listen to. A lady saying words like President Coin, visit, important, urgent, three days.
Out of the blue a single thought comes to me. It's Haymitch before the 75th games "Just remember who your enemies are." Then I think of Coin, how much she hated me, how desperate she was to stay in power. "Traps that riley on human emotions." That's what Beetee had said of Gale's traps. My mind seemed to be telling me "Think Katniss, who had that trap information?" Beetee? No. Plutarch? Higher ranking. But that would be….! YES!
Three days, just enough time to come down. The next person to come in was probably a nurse. As she put my food tray down my fingers gripped her arm "No more," I whispered "No more." Tugging on the line that feed me morphling. She seemed to understand and rushed out immediately.
"She wants you to cut off her morphling." A voice said. I struggled to her, paying every ounce of attention I had in me. "But the pain will kill her!" a different voice said. "Not completely, well not at first. I think she wants to be off it when the President comes, so she can understand properly." "Well alright, we can try"
Yes, my plan is working. Now what's around that I can use? My mind returns to that time on the hovercraft, when I was ready to kill Peeta with an air filled syringe, to save him safe from the capitol. Yes a syringe! There are always some in here to knock me out if the pain is too great. One time when I'm sure no one is looking I slip two of them under my pillow.
One day she finally comes, dressed in the fine attire a president is expected to wear. She walks in, sits in the chair in a corner, and stares. Finally she breaks the silence "well look at the state you're in! You're so pale you look like a ghost!" "Well I can't really go anywhere." Coin smiles a smile that reminds me of a sick, twisted killer. "Oh but I can arrange that! Get someone to push you around in a wheelchair, get you some fresh air! That's just what you need!" every cuss and curse I know is running through my mind right now, all directed at her. "Sorry, but I like being miserable by myself"' that sick smile is on her face again as she makes her way towards my bed, and whispers in my ear "Oh but that's why I'm here to end your misery, I'm here to take you to your execution."
She turns but before she can get too far, I grab her arm. "Hey Coin, you ruined my entire life in less than 24 hours. Now it's time for you to feel the same!" before she can pull away I jab the needle right into her arm and push. As she collapses I can hear shuffling outside and yelling. Let them come I think, I have nothing to live for anymore, my work is done.
As I empty the second syringe into my arm, my life flashes before my eyes. Swimming with my father in our secret pond, the birds falling silent as he sang, my mother's laughter, burnt bread, dandelions ,blackberries, Prim's duck tailed shirt, rue's four note song, lamb stew in the rain, a pink pearl, Finnick and Annie dancing, all the people I've ever loved's laughter. And then it's over, just a never ending darkness.
That's okay though, maybe I'll be able to see them again. Yea that'll be great, I can hear my mother's laughter, hug Prim, give Madge her pin back, and set things right with Gale and Peeta. And in that perfect world I would never have to choose.
Ye, it will be perfect I will never have to choose which one I really love.
THE END