So, now that I'm on Christmas break, I thought I would finally post this story. I've had this part written for about 2 months; but now that I know where I want to take this, it's as good a time as ever to post it.
I always wanted to do a Katie/Kendall sibling fic. I just love the protectiveness Kendall has for her! :)
This is AU, so there was no audition, no BTR, no Hollywood; nothing from the show except the boys' friendship and their personalities. This story takes place in 2012 (and no, this is not an apocalypse fic, just in case you thought that from seeing that date) so Kendall and the guys are 18, and Katie is 12.
And just an FYI, this will be a three-part story...well, at least, that's what I'm planning on. Now that I think about it, I may end up writing an epilogue or adding more chapters because of where I can see this story taking itself. Curse me and my OCD with needing a complete ending.
And just a last note, this subject may be a little uncomfortable to some. No slash, but this was really tough for me to write. It's kind of a touchy subject, and with me being who I am, I never thought that I would write a fic like this. But it's all for the sib-fic. You'll see what I mean. Just read!
This is loosely based off of the Avril Lavigne song "When You're Gone".
She never thought this day would come.
She had been dreading it for months. Even at such a young age, she understood what was happening; but though she was cleverer than anyone her age, she still couldn't begin to fathom why.
Why did he have to be so noble? Why did he have to commit to something so dangerous? Why couldn't he have decided to stay home and catch some cheap thrills with his best friends? Why was he leaving them? Why did the littlest of the group have to watch the only father-figure in her life walk away?
It just didn't make sense.
Yet here they all were- James, Carlos, and Logan stood together, but left some room between themselves and the family moment unfolding a dozen feet away. They'd had their time with him; the trio had no problem letting Momma Knight have a moment with her two babies. It would be the last time they'd all be in the same room for who-knows-how-long.
Standing at the airport terminal entrance, it was taking all of Katie Knight's will power to not cry. She wouldn't let herself; she had to be strong like her older brother.
Mrs. Knight had no such promise to keep, however. She wept freely as she held her first-born bone-crushingly close. Kendall didn't mind- on the contrary, he was committing his mother's tight embrace to memory, so that feeling of almost too much love could be brought up in his mind for whenever he'd need it in the coming months. He knew he would.
So he stayed that way, wrapped in his mother's arms. He had momentarily lost his ability to speak, so he thanked her for everything she'd ever done for him. She'd given him so much, yet he'd given so little back. It was an impossible task to make it up to her, but he had to try.
Still, no words were shared between the mother and son- none could be formed, but none were needed. They'd hugged for a full ten minutes before Mrs. Knight pulled away, eyes glistening and cheeks tear-stained, to grab Kendall's face in her hands. She whispered, "I love you, baby," and kissed his forehead tenderly.
Kendall smiled, his eyes full of tears as well, and moved to clutch his mother's hand like he was eight years old again. "I know I never told you this as often as I should have growing up, but- I love you too, mom. Always will." He squeezed her hand reassuringly.
Mrs. Knight let out a deep breath, smiling sadly and proudly and gently dropped her hand from her son's. She turned toward her youngest child, letting her know it was her turn with Kendall.
Walking up to her brother, Katie plastered a smile on her face, hoping to ease any of Kendall's worry about her. But as the realization dawned on her, she felt her carefully-built wall begin to crumble. Brick by brick, her façade shattered until she was tumbling into the strong arms that had picked her up so many times when she'd fallen down in the past. Forgetting that she was supposed to be keeping the water works at bay, twelve-year-old Katie Knight broke the dam in her eyes and just cried; cried for him, cried for mom, the boys, everyone who'd ever known him. It wasn't the fact that he was deploying to Afghanistan that upset her- it was the truth that she didn't know when she'd ever see him again. Alive or not.
And the 'not' part scared her into hysterics.
No one had ever seen the tween cry like this. Sure, she had shed a few tears when she'd fallen down her first time riding a two-wheeler and when she'd broken her first bone as a nine-year-old. Heck, she'd even secretly shed a few tears between her trips to the hospital to see Kendall, James, Logan, and Carlos after their many encounters with accidental stupidity. But this was a whole new level of sadness.
It should be illegal to have to watch a baby sister cry like that, Logan thought to himself bitterly. All the boys thought of Katie as their little sister, none of them having one at home themselves. (Carlos was the middle of three boys, and James and Logan were only children.) It stabbed at their hearts to see Katie such a mess. But they stood back, allowing Kendall and Katie a brother-sister moment.
Katie stayed silent as her sobs receded, her tongue swelled in her mouth, stopping all the words that were on her mind. But what could she say? Kendall was dedicated to this mission. Nothing could change his mind about leaving. He needed to do this. This was just typical Kendall Knight: being the ever-so-overprotective one, it would be just like him to want to risk his life for not only his mother, sister, and best friends, but he wanted to protect the other three-hundred million people in America.
And it also didn't help Katie's situation that Kendall wanted to be like their dad. He'd served in the Gulf War as a Lieutenant Colonel, but had been killed eight months into his first tour in the Iraq War. That was eight years ago- eight years that Kendall spent taking over his father's role in the house. He had to be there for them because Kevin Knight never would be again. He always wanted to be their Knight in shining armor: his dad made him promise to take care of the girls if something were to ever happen to him. And that's what he did, what he was doing.
"Kendall," Katie finally choked out. Her pleading tone made the blonde ready-for-battle soldier almost lose it. Slowly, he lowered himself and Katie into a nearby chair, setting her on his lap. She curled into him, clutching his light green shirt for dear life, as the tears began to flow again. In return, Kendall tightened his hold around her slight frame, encasing her in a grip that made her feel safe from the world. In her brother's arms, Katie was protected, never in harm's way. What was she going to do now that he wouldn't be there for her?
"Look at me, baby sister."
Reluctantly, Katie glanced up into his eyes. His green orbs (inherited from their father, as well) were red-rimmed, puffy, and wet. He looked a mess. But she could still see his compassion and love for the family through his tears. He gently grabbed her face in his hands, forcing her to sit up straight on his lap. "Katie," he began, looking hard into her eyes. "I love you. I know we may have had our differences growing up." At this, Katie cracked a small grin. "But you're still my baby sister, and you always will be. I care so much about you. And mom. You know how I am- I need to do this. I'm doing this for you." He rubbed his thumb across her cheek, wiping away a few stray tears. "I need to protect you. I don't expect you to understand why I'm doing it in this fashion, but it's all for you." Katie blinked. "I just don't want to let you and mom and the guys down." His voice broke on the last word, sending a fresh wave of hot, salty tears down his face.
The young girl looked up at him. "But what am I gonna do when you're gone?" Her voice sounded tiny and frightened.
Kendall looked down at her lovingly, smiling sadly. "You'll figure something out. But always keep me in your heart. Let Logie, Jay, and Carlitos help you. They'll always be here for you. You're their little sister, too." He hugged her tighter as they both glanced over at the aforementioned group behind them.
Katie gladly wrapped her tiny arms around her brother's army-toned waist, and was close to letting loose again as she heard a couple soft sobs escape his lips above her.
"Promise me one thing, Kendall."
"Anything for you, Katie," he breathed.
Katie paused, trying to keep the lump of despair in her throat down. "Promise me you'll come back. Alive."
The blonde stared at her blunt request, but smiled softly and said, "I promise. Only for you, Katie."
Katie smiled at him pensively, never wanting to leave this spot. Getting up meant he would have to leave. As he began to stand up, Katie panicked and whispered, "Don't go."
"It kills me to leave you Katie, it really does, but I have to." He squeezed her strongly one last time. "I'll make you proud."
In that instant, the tween knew everything would be alright. Kendall never broke promises like that. "Okay, big brother. But remember," she paused to make sure he was looking at her. "I look up to you."
He smirked and took a deep, shaky breath before kissing her for a final time on her forehead- something he hadn't done since the day she was born.
Carlos, sensing their moment was drawing to a close, interrupted. "Group hug!"
Kendall would never forget the feeling of all the people he loved most in a huddle like that. Holding Katie's hand the whole time, he finally untangled himself from them when he heard his cue over the loudspeaker. "Flight 674 to Washington-Dulles is now boarding." It was his first flight; he'd take a connecting from there to Afghanistan.
He picked up his carry-on and headed for the gate, still grasping Katie's hand. He turned to them again. "I love you all. I'll write you anytime I have free time! I just want you to know that you've all been there for me and I'll keep that in mind over there. Let me make you proud." With that, he gave his little sister's hand a final squeeze and departed, tears still in his eyes.
Watching Kendall round the corner was the hardest thing the group of (now) five had ever experienced. And once the tall blonde was out of sight, Katie began wobbling unsteadily back to her mother. Before she could make it, she collapsed in hysteria. Luckily, James caught her before she hit the ground and lightly scooped her up bridal style.
Logan looked worriedly at the faces in their circle and motioned to Momma Knight. "I think it's time we go. We should get Katie back to bed to rest." He hesitated for a moment. "We all should."
Kacy Knight couldn't argue with that, so they all filed out of the airport and to the parking garage where the Knight's van was parked. They all slumped in, James still with Katie in his arms.
Too tired to move her limbs, Katie succumbed to the darkness that engulfed her, never once letting her thoughts wander away from Kendall's last words for her.
"I promise. Only for you."
"Kendall?"
Katie looked around at the sandy wasteland around her. Where was she? All she knew was that she needed her brother. The urge to just see him was so overpowering she could barely stand upright.
"Kendall?" she screamed; the echo was carried away by the howling wind.
"Kendall!" She was desperate this time. Each call with no answer brought her closer and closer to hysterics. She couldn't lose him.
Looking around frantically, she took off in a random direction. As she ran, the wind whipped sand around her, biting her skin like sandpaper. Te wind picked up and soon it became difficult to keep her eyes open without getting a million particles shot into her emerald eyes. She pulled her thin jacket around her tighter and trudged on.
"Kendall!" she tried again, but to no avail. Her heart sank further with each passing second. She fell to her knees, deflated, and managed to whimper a weak "Big brother…"
Katie curled up into herself, knowing no response would come. Though this time was no different from the last, the tears finally flowed warm and liquid down her cheeks. Her throat ached with lost hope and fear; a body-wracking sob threatened to break free. She let a couple squeaks out, but reminded herself that she needed to stay strong for her mother. Kendall wasn't coming back, so what were they going to do now?
A swift breeze pulled at Katie's jacket and hair. As the badlands assaulted her with the grit around her, she heard a soft cry. "Katie…"
A small gasp escaped her lips and her head instantly shot up, searching for the disembodied voice. Looking to her right, she saw a vague silhouette through the sandstorm ahead of her.
The tween uncurled herself and slowly crawled into a crouch. Hesitantly, she called out to the shadow. "Kendall…?"
The figure took a step toward her in reaction to her voice. Katie stood up off of the desert floor and reached her arm out as she walked toward the presence. Tears of blissful disbelief built up in her eyes and her throat began constricting from the sob of joy ready to explode out of her. "Kendall?"
"Katie…"
As she came closer, the shadow began taking form. First Katie saw the red plaid shirt and maroon t-shirt focus, followed by the gray skinny jeans and Vans sneakers. She recognized the tall, lanky, toned frame and didn't have to look up at his face to see the shaggy blonde hair flowing over two dark, bushy eyebrows to know it was Kendall.
Kendall. Her big brother was back.
Katie dropped her arm and sprinted to him. She slammed into his chest, wrapping her arms around his torso. As she secured her hold on him, she felt his two strong arms hug her back, effectively squashing themselves together inseparably. Katie buried her face in his chest, her falling tears staining his shirt. In return, Kendall rested his cheek on top of his little sister's head, holding her firmly.
No words could be spoken between the two siblings; Katie's words were caught behind the lump in her throat and Kendall seemed to be reveling in the reunion.
But no words needed to be said in that moment. All that mattered was that that instant right then. Nothing could tear them apart again.
Kendall finally spoke. "Come on, baby sister," he cooed. "Let's get out of here." Katie had no thoughts of contesting him.
Slowly they lowered their embrace, Kendall keeping one arm around his sister's shoulder comfortingly, and they began to stroll toward who-knows-where. As long as they were together, nothing mattered anymore.
After walking for about ten minutes through the blinding sand, Katie saw a squat, fire-engine-red building. The flagpole several feet away from it was waving an American flag. Sanctuary had appeared.
"Kendall! Kendall! Look!" Katie pointed ahead, not glancing back at him. "We're saved! Come on, let's go!" She ran forward, her hand still clasped around her brother's wrist.
Or so she thought.
Katie stopped at the threshold of the structure, hand on the doorknob, once she realized that Kendall wasn't beside her. Bewildered, she waved her hand around the space behind her. Nothing. Crap. "Kendall?" she yelled into the wind.
Squinting, she could see his smudged shadow about two-hundred feet back, about where they'd been standing when Katie had seen the shelter. He wasn't moving; he was practically a statue.
"Ken-" Katie's voice was cut short, as if someone had turned off her ability to speak. She tried to scream, but her lungs constricted under her ribcage, making her double over in pain. She dropped to her knees, clutching her arms around her middle. Fire erupted inside of her, and she cried out in agony. As she attempted to stand up so she could stumble to her brother, something held her down, gluing her to the desert floor as the wind picked up again. Now she couldn't even see a foot in front of her; Kendall had disappeared behind a curtain of dust.
Katie held her hands over her eyes, tears from fear and the harsh blowing sand razed down her face. She waited for it all to stop; she prayed it would end so she and Kendall could reunite.
But as soon as the maelstrom had started, it died. When Katie felt no breeze whipping through her hair, she picked her head up, gasping in awe when she watched the suspended sand fall silently to the ground. And there stood Kendall, rigid as a board, staring blankly ahead of him.
Katie found that she could finally move again. She shakily stood, coughing and blinking the leftover grit from her eyes. The sun shone down on her, almost casting a spotlight on her and Kendall; the world around them completely disappeared.
Well…almost.
In the distance, Katie could see a spark of light. Though she wanted to drop everything and dash to her sibling, her vision stayed fixed on the dot.
The silence that followed was suffocating, tense. As more time passed, the dot kept expanding. Soon enough, she could make out its shape- it was thin and cylindrical with a pointed top. A missile.
And it was heading straight for her and Kendall.
Katie's heart thudded in her chest, her stomach flipping and churning, as she raced toward her brother. "Kendall!" she wailed. "Get out of the way!"
She knew the damage a projectile could do, but if there was a chance he could somehow get out of harm's way, well…she'd give herself up for him.
But her pleas had no effect on him. And she was too late. The missile was too close and they had nowhere to run.
She watched the scenery behind Kendall brighten as if on fire…
"Love you, Katie."
And then it hit.
"NO!"
Kacy Knight heard the scream. Sitting up straight in her queen-size bed, she glanced over at the clock. 3:37 am.
This had actually been a common occurrence at the Knight household ever since Kendall had left. But there was something different about this night: her daughter hadn't cried out in her sleep in over two months.
Quickly and quietly, Kacy slipped out of bed and padded over the room three doors down the hallway. The door creaked slightly when she opened it.
The noise seemed to snap the thrashing body on the bed out of its trance. Katie shot her eyes open, breathing heavily, wetness on her face. She felt the bed dip as her mother sat down and gathered her up into a loving, worried embrace. Katie was too mentally exhausted to return the gesture, so she just let herself be held; she hadn't been held that way in months and it felt amazing.
And she hadn't had a dream like that for over two months.
The first month after Kendall's departure had been the hardest. Two nights later, Mrs. Knight had found herself in Katie's room with a bat; her youngest child had been screaming bloody murder like someone had broken into her room. It had taken Kacy almost fifteen minutes to wake Katie up. She was frantic and had immediately wrapped herself around her mother's torso, sobbing and convulsing uncontrollably. Kacy had encircled Katie unbreakably, whispering sweet nothings into her hair, telling her that everything was alright. Each time this happened, she would eventually nod off the same way, crying herself into a distressed sleep.
The intense shrieking lasted about three-and-a-half more weeks; then the cries quieted over the next four months until there was nothing but tiny whimpers escaping the young girl's lips.
Truthfully, Kacy had been terrified the first night Katie hadn't made any noise.
Now she was just as frightened. Katie was much more distraught than she had been in the past; it must have been a really bad dream to produce this reaction from her.
But all Kacy could do was hold her daughter to her chest, petting her hair softly and murmuring nothings into her ear. After fifteen minutes of waterworks and muffled screaming, Katie finally calmed down enough to look up at her mother. Even in the dim light that the moon cast into her bedroom window, she could tell her mother was seriously scared and worried.
"Mommy…" Katie breathed, letting her voice carry on a shaky breath.
"Oh, baby," the mother whispered lovingly. Her daughter hadn't called her that in almost three years. How things had changed… "You're fine now." She paused. "Was it about…"
She didn't need to finish her statement for Katie to understand what she was asking- yes, the nightmare was about her brother. All Katie did was nod sadly.
Kacy let out a long sigh and wiped her daughter's tears with her thumb. "Katie, honey, it's alright. It was just a dream." She gathered her into a hug. "Go back to sleep." She kissed Katie's forehead and gently laid her down on the bed.
Walking out, Kacy stopped in het tracks when Katie softly called out, "Momma?"
The woman turned toward her child. "Yes, sweetie?"
The tween looked down at her sheets, feeling sheepish about something. Finally she spoke. "Momma, can I…sleep in your bed tonight?" She barely mumbled the last part.
Momma Knight smiled and had a brief vision of Katie as a young girl, saying the exact same thing when Kendall had his first overnight in a hospital after an accident. She really does love her brother so much.
"Of course." She padded over to her daughter's bed and gently hoisted her up and off the mattress. Clasping hands, they walked out of Katie's bedroom and down the hall to Kacy's.
She flopped down on her four-poster bed, and Katie jumped onto it soon after.
Kacy pulled the sheets over them both as Katie snuggled into her side. The shared warmth was something that neither of them had felt in the longest time.
Katie tucked herself more into her mother, feeling her eyes become heavy. Soon enough, she drifted into a calm, dreamless sleep- something she hadn't had in over seven months.
Okay, I'll say it- I actually cried while writing this. -dies-
So just in case you didn't catch that at the end, it's been seven months since Kendall left. Sorry if anything seems OOC, but this is a pretty traumatic experience. I've never had to go through this myself, but I do know people who are serving. I'm not sure if the war will even last that long (but knowing our world, it will).
But in honor of them, I'd like to dedicate this story to all of our Military personnel, and the families they have behind them to give them support. I must admit, I'm not for the war, but I will always support the troops.
R & R please! All kinds of criticism are welcome on this 'cause I know it's a touchy subject. =/