Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. Seriously. Nothing.

CRACK FIC WARNING. This was written based on the stereotyped characters that fanfiction authors (INCLUDING ME) produce. Mostly Wessa, Jem is an innocent lil critter, and Will is a flawless mighty being of all that is holy and powerful

I was standing in the formation of a scalene (specifically scalene... specifically) triangle. In this triangle there stood Jem (with an evil cat on his suit clad shoulder) and Will (a perfect god with cerulean, no blue... definitely blue eyes.) I flicked my head between the two, one was perfect the other was a tramp. Ah but, which one was the tramp and which one was perfect?

Clearly, it was will! He was the obvious choice! He was practically a god with green? Brown? Blue? Eyes. Meh, he wasn't really that memorable. But Jem on the other hand, was a smol bean. A little cinnamon roll. He was literally a bean wearing a suit. He was too good, too pure for this world. But I needed an emotionally damaged bad boy with daddy issues.

Because that will be a stable relationship!

Right?

But Jem... Wow. That guy was adorable and innocent.

WAIT. WHO WAS THIS BITCH WHO JUST WALKED IN! Jessamin something. How could she draw that unperfectly bushy arched eyebrow and humble, modest smile out of him. All I got was an arrogant smirk and a perfectly plucked eyebrow.

I mean Plucked eyebrows are basically saying that you hate the person and want you to rot heaven. Or dust and shadows or whatever Will believes in.

I suppose another one bites the dust eh? HAHAHAHAHAHA I am hilarious and everyone loves me.

But who shall I choose?! The tramp? That is unacceptable for a woman of my standard. Ah, but I can be' the lady and the tramp'

Yesssss. I SHALL CHOOSE THE TRAMP!

Which one was the tramp again? Ah yes, I hadn't decided.

Now, will was wearing a casual shirtless and jeans combo. His pudgy belly perfectly complimenting his eyes. Which colour (green) I didn't really like anyway.

But Jem was wearing a suit, that's not trampy right? His golden eyes were shining in the darkness that had descended on them in the forest. Why the hell are we in a forest? What is this Twilight or something?

Hahaha, twilight.

Wait Bella was in this exact same situation! Choosing between two guys...

ANYWAY, back to the jessamin situation... she left because she was killed in a future silvercarstairs fanfiction... I think it was lovin' this town or something like that...

SPOILERS!

WAIT WHAT IS THIS! Heronstairs...

It seemed that I had taken so long to decide that Jem and will settled their differences and were now snogging on the couch that appeared.

WHYYYYYY MEEEEEEE...

Hey guys and dolls!

So hi... first of all, I'm sorry. I am iamnemesis and me and silvercarstairs decided to write each others fanfiction. I have no idea what your fandom is and what happens in the books. She is also writing ne with no idea of the books or fandom. The only reason there is some random details that I have blatantly insulted is because we each got a brief overview of character descriptions.

Her Percy Jackson story is on my account and this... thing is clearly on hers.

I'm so sorry

And as always, rated T for tree! ( If you go on my account... You'll get the joke)

-iamnemesis

Hola my chickas! SilverCarstairs here! Yes, and I'm sorry. In the final chapter of LTT, Jessamine does die. I'm really sorry but don't worry! You won't cry! Because you'll literally never read the chapter it's already been 13 months without an update so…! I'm sorry and I know, it's awful, and I'm trying to finish it! I swear!

Read and review, people, it might actually motivate me to do some writing!