They said everyone deserved a second chance. Now she had lost hers and this time, she hadn't done anything wrong. On the contrary, she had been trying so hard to be good. But maybe, it wasn't about being good or evil. Maybe it was simply not meant to be. No matter what she did, she was not meant to find happiness and peace. Yes, a woman's life was saved, but now hers was destroyed in the process. A peasant's happy ending had cost a queen's.
As Robin Hood, the man with the lion tattoo, reunited with his wife and others celebrated this miraculous coincidence, Regina left Granny's silently. No one noticed her, not even Henry. Tears of disappointment were falling from her eyes and she was trying to wipe them away before anyone saw them, but she stopped when she realized the streets were empty. Everybody was either in the diner, or in their houses at this hour of the evening. Regina walked home with heavy steps, taking her time to think what to do from here.
She could go back to being evil, of course, but that wouldn't help. She had tried that before. She had turned Snow's life into a living hell, but it hadn't brought Daniel back. Now there was Henry; she would lose him forever if she harmed his family. He still considered her as his mom, and this meant a lot to her, even though she had to share his love with his mother, grandmother, two grandfathers and a newborn uncle. Things seemed to be fine for now, but soon Regina would be like a distant relative whose place they stopped by when the family needed a change of air. Ugh!
Regina realized she was at her porch when she snapped out of her thoughts. This big mansion, made to be a home for a big, rich happy family, was only hers. What was the point of power and wealth when you had nobody to share them with? She wanted to share these, not love. She wanted to have someone who belongs to her and her only. But for tonight, she was too tired to think such things; she quickly took off her clothes, cleaned her make up and went to sleep.
Fearing she might have to see Robin and his wife, Regina spent the next few weeks in her house. Emma came to see her to make sure she was OK, but she refused to spill her sorrows to the woman who took away her second chance to find true love, the woman whose mother had taken away the first one. Even Rumpelstiltskin paid her a visit, to share his concerns about a rumoured burgeoning threat. Who knew what those two idiots had brought from the future? Regina was done playing the hero, she wasn't going to help them. If the threat was real, they could handle it. If they couldn't, then she would come only to save Henry.
One day, she woke up with a sick feeling in her stomach, feeling a strong urge to vomit. She rushed into the bathroom. She was sick indeed. Lately, she had been exposed to too much stress; maybe even her body had its limits. She knew she needed help. Unfortunately, nobody could help her. Maybe she could see Dr. Hopper, but not yet. She was a strong woman, she had always been. She could heal a broken heart on her own.
However, the nausea didn't end. On the third day, she finally decided that she needed a therapy session. She needed to get this pain out of her system. She dressed quickly, and headed to Dr. Hopper's office, hoping he would be there.
Hopper opened the door after the first knock.
"Regina, please come in," he said with his annoying optimism.
Regina entered and sat on the coach. Hopper sat across her, pressed his palms together and asked "What troubles you, Regina?"
"I am sick," she began. "My body cannot handle the disappointment and the stress anymore."
"Is this about Robin Hood?"
Of course he knew, everyone in town probably knew how unlucky she was. She didn't answer.
"Tell me," he demanded.
"Why? You already know."
"I want to know your side of the story."
Regina told him everything and asked if this could really make her sick.
Hopper looked troubled, as if he had to say something inconvenient and was trying to find the right words.
Finally, Regina was tired of the awkward silence. "Say it, cricket."
"Regina, ehm… have you considered… other possibilities?"
"What other possibilities? Like a physical illness?" A serious illness was the last thing she wanted to deal with right now. And having to depend on Dr. Whale for the solution? No, thanks. That was why she loved her magic.
"Physical, yes. But illness… I would rather call it a surprise."
Regina's forehead wrinkled.
"You and Robin spent some time together before his wife came to Storybrooke, right?"
Suddenly, Regina realized what he was trying to imply. Embarrassment and anger came to her together. She jumped from the coach and grabbed his throat.
"Don't you ever dare to say it!"
Hopper had already turned pale. He nodded quickly. Regina let her go and stormed off the office. She was in denial while she was going downstairs, but she knew he could be right. She didn't need to go to the hospital to verify her pregnancy. A simple spell could work just as fine. Regina couldn't even wait to get to home on foot. She teleported to her vault, leaving a purple smoke behind her in the street.
Her hands were shaking while preparing the magical pregnancy test. No matter how afraid or embarrassed she was, she had to know if this was true. Soon the elixir was ready, and all she had to do was to add some blood. She pierced her finger with a needle, a drop of blood fell into the bottle and she watched the reaction anxiously.
After a few seconds, the clear liquid turned to pink, telling her that she was with a child. A girl. Regina hated herself for how gullible she had been. Like a silly young girl, she had been infatuated by a thief, a thief! And now he had left her, with an unborn child behind. There was nothing more humiliating than that. She was lonely when she was evil, but back then she had a dignity at least. Now she was where Cora had been in her youth. Frustrated, the former queen collapsed on the ground and wept loudly, hoping there was nobody around.
She sat there for hours. She had to get rid of this baby, this shame. Nobody could blame her for this. Nobody would want this baby, anyway. She would have no one but her mother. Then she repeated the last words, this time out loud. It was a revelation.
No one but her mother.
Why would she kill her? Regina wouldn't need a husband and this girl wouldn't need a father. Robin didn't know this was his child. No one knew. She would tell Dr. Hopper that the test came out negative. She could hide her pregnancy. They would never know. Nobody but her could claim a right on her daughter. Now, all she had to do was to find a way to return to the Enchanted Forest. She wanted this child to be born there, just in case of another curse. She couldn't afford to separate from her baby. Regina could picture the years ahead of them. She would find a way to go back to Enchanted Forest before the birth. There, her daughter would grow up as a princess. Regina would name her Delilah, play with her, teach her magic and make her happy. They would rule the realm as mother and daughter.
Yes, this child was her third chance, and this time nobody could ruin it.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Once Upon a Time characters.