A couple weeks had passed since Sean had gotten hurt during a mission with Nikita. Because of that and because Alex had gotten shot herself a few weeks back, Sean hated that she was still there in Division, but at least she wasn't in the field yet. He knew she was eager to get back into things, though. He kept all his thoughts to himself, letting her do what she wanted - to a certain extent.
Sean had tried talking to her, asking her if she wanted a life outside Division, see if he could get her to leave or at least contemplate leaving. Division was like a cancer. Everyone and anything involved with it ended up dead, one way or another. He'd lost his mother because of Division, because of Nikita. He didn't want to lose Alex, too, and sometimes he felt like he was close to losing her and it scared him like hell.
He had told her those three big words: I love you. He'd let Alex in on one of his biggest fears, which was losing her. He'd lost his mom and he didn't want to lose her. He just wanted her to be safe, how could she not understand? She deserved to be happy, to have a life. She'd had a life before outside of Division, she could have it again. And Sean wanted to be the one to give it to her. He knew he could. Alex just needed a little encouraging. But she hadn't returned the sentiment, the I love you. And it had hurt Sean deeply, more deeply than he'd expected. Of course, he had taken her rather by surprise, so he couldn't blame her for hesitating. Love was a serious thing and he wanted Alex to be sure. He didn't want her to not mean it, not mean the I love you if she ever said it to him. They'd been having a rough time lately after that, the two of them growing apart a bit. Sean may have left Division for a while, but he had come back when they needed him. And he wanted to see how Alex was doing. It had been rough, but they'd worked things out and now he felt they were in a good place.
Deciding it was time, he had convinced Alex to meet him somewhere outside of Division and to dress up if she wanted. He wanted to give her a night where she wouldn't have to worry about anything, where neither of them did - Division related or not. They both deserved a little time off. Essentially, this was going to be a date. Their first date, actually. He was nervous, wanting everything to be as perfect as it could be. At first, Sean had thought about ordering out, but when did he ever get the chance to cook, especially for the woman he was in love with? So for the first time in a very long time, Sean whipped up something special for his girl.
He had the table on the rooftop of his apartment building all set, the plates covered to keep the food warm, wine already in the glasses. He'd decorated the rooftop with strings of lights and candles here and there, illuminating the place and adding a warm, romantic aura to everything. He liked how it all looked and only hoped Alex would like it. He had told her to meet him up on the rooftop at eight o'clock, and eight was approaching at what seemed a quick pace.
As he was checking his watch, Sean heard someone coming up the stairwell and hurried over to open the door to find Alex on the last landing leading up to the rooftop. "Hey," he said, looking her over and appreciating her. "You look beautiful," he said, smiling. And she did. The dark blue, knee-length dress suited her so beautifully, and her hair, he noticed, was curled for the first time in what seemed a long time. She'd been wearing it straight for a while.
"Thank you," Alex replied, smiling a bit shyly at Sean as she walked up the steps to meet him. She couldn't remember the last time someone had complimented her. Well, she could. It had been Sean. She was slowly getting used to being in a relationship, receiving compliments, having someone take care of her. It was nice and honestly, Sean was a breath of fresh air. If she ever took him for granted, she'd hate herself for it. He was a good man and she was still trying to believe she had gotten him,
"Now close your eyes," Sean said, grinning so widely Alex laughed and sighed playfully before doing what she was told. She felt Sean reach out and grab her hand, his other hand on her shoulder as he steered her outside onto the rooftop. She sniffed the air, smelling food (pasta?) and scented candles. She heard a car horn honk a few miles away, some shouts and laughter here and there. And then Sean's voice interrupted all that.
"Okay, open your eyes," he finally said, getting her to where he wanted her. He stepped to stand behind her, a smile on his face as she opened her eyes and looked around.
Her breath caught in her throat and for a few moments she had trouble breathing. It was all simple yet beautiful, how she loved things. The lights, the candles. The little round table with a white cloth, covered food and wine. And then all of that outside like this, the wide expanse of the dark night sky and the twinkling stars, the soft breeze blowing and ruffling the ends of her hair and making her bare arms tingle.
Alex turned around to face Sean, not hesitating to wrap her arms around him. She hugged him tightly, feeling the backs of her eyes sting as she closed her eyes and reveled in the feel of his strong arms around her, her body pressed against his hard, chiseled one. She didn't have to say anything. Sean knew she loved it, that it meant a lot to her and touched her deeply. He was delighted.
"Come on," he said, rubbing his hand along the small of her back as he kissed the side of her head. "The food's waiting."
Alex held onto Sean for a few moments more and then finally pulled away, letting him guide her over to the table. He pulled out the chair for her, making her smile appreciatively at him before sitting down. Before going to sit across from her, Sean lifted the lid off of her plate and Alex leaned forward, closing her eyes and slowly inhaling the warmth and smell of the pasta. "Chicken fettuccini alfredo, red wine, and for dessert -" Sean paused, setting down the first lid to lift a second lid from a round middle plate. "powdered donuts with chocolate dipping sauce. More commonly known as a zeppola. Trust me, you'll love it."
Putting the lid back on the plate of the zeppole, finally sitting across from Alex. He picked up his fork, but waited until Alex picked hers up as well and took the first bite, anxiously awaiting her reaction. And it was even better than he'd expected. Her eyes widened a little bit and she twirled twice as much pasta around her fork then before, stabbing a piece of chicken and then lifting it all to her mouth to devour. Sean chuckled lightly, shaking his head at her.
"Sorry," Alex said, blushing slightly as she grabbed a napkin by the corner of her plate and dabbed the corner of her mouth. "It's just - this is really good. Really, really good. Did you make all of it?" she asked, curious.
"Don't be sorry. I love a woman with an appetite. And thank you. Yes. Yes, I did cook all of it. Well, except for the zeppole. I got those at a local bakery. Friends with the old man who works there. When I told him I was arranging a date for my girl, he made them especially for me."
Alex opened her mouth to say something, but when Sean said 'my girl,' she froze and gazed at him. "Your girl?" she asked, the corner of her mouth twitching hesitantly now and then into a smile.
"Yeah. You're my girl, Alex," he said, smiling at her. "I mean, if that's all right with you," he added, not wanting her to freak out or anything.
"No, no. It's - it's perfectly okay with me." She smiled more confidently now, blinking several times as her gaze flickered from one of his eyes to the other and then down to his mouth, where his lips formed a smile. Or a smirk. Maybe a little bit of both. "I'm your girl. And you're my boy." Alex laughed, grinning at him before biting down on her bottom lip. She looked down, picking up her fork again and eating some more of the pasta.
They ate in comfortable silence, both okay with not making small talk while eating. Only when they were both almost done did finally speak up. "So you can cook. Anything else I should know? Any other hobbies?"
Sean chuckled, shaking his head as he leaned back in his chair, picking up his glass of wine and taking a sip of it. "Not really, no. I used to draw. That was a long time ago, though. I used to play basketball and football. I'd actually wanted to be a professional athlete but instead signed up to be a Seal. I wanted to do something meaningful with my life. Plus, when you make something you love your career, it becomes less fun, you know? I wanted to keep the things I love in the pleasure state. So I cook, draw, play basketball or whatever when I want to wind down, relax. What about you? I mean, what's your thing?"
Alex thought it over for several minutes, one arm crossed over her chest while she held her glass of wine in the other. She knew a question like this shouldn't be hard, but it was for her. She wasn't most people and never would be, but that didn't mean she shouldn't have some hobbies like normal people. She deserved a little bit of normalcy, didn't she? "I don't know," she finally said, shrugging. "I mean, I like to read. Who doesn't like to sit with a book and a glass of wine?" she asked, chuckling. "I've never thought about it before, I suppose. I suppose one of my guilty pleasures is dancing. I remember dancing with my mom when I was younger." As Alex thought about her mom, she felt herself being pulled into a reverie, her eyes focused past Sean's head at nothing in particular except the past. "It was one of our things. She said I was such a beautiful dancer and that maybe one day I could maybe even be part of the Russian ballet. Guess she was wrong."
"It's never too late," Sean said, being serious at first but then he slowly grinned and laughed. Alex gazed at him for a moment before bursting out laughing herself.
"Yeah, right," she said, giggling. "I'm not too disappointed. I mean, I don't think I would've met you if I grew up to be a dancer." She smiled knowingly at Sean, who returned the look.
She'd had such a good childhood, it seemed to him, and he was sorry that things had turned out the way they had. She of all people, he felt, deserved to be happy and loved. To have her family by her side. But it occurred to him that maybe it was because of the way their lives had turned out that they were so good together. Alex had her mother but rarely got the chance to see her. Both their fathers were dead. Sean had lost his mom last year. They'd lost most of their loved ones yet here they both were, standing stronger than ever. They had each other.
"Do you talk to her often?" Sean asked about her mother. Alex nodded, taking a quick sip of her wine before answering.
"We write to each other now and then. Letters seem the safest option. And nobody does that anymore," she said, complaining. "It's all e-mail and phone calls and texts. People don't write letters anymore. Nothing is personal or intimate and I think that's so sad. Getting letters from my mom every other month, it's a good feeling. And I love having the letters to go back to, to actually touch, you know? To see her hand-writing, the curves and loops of certain letters. Just to have something of her is nice. Oh, God, I'm so sorry," she added after a moment, covering her blushing face with her hand. "I'm talking way too much, aren't I?" Alex moved her hand, keeping half of her face covered as she looked embarrassedly at Sean.
"No, Alex. No, you're not. Trust me, it's - I love hearing you talk about yourself," he said, taking a deep breath. This was the most she had ever opened up to him. There were a lot of things he was curious about regarding her, and hearing about her past and her family, it cleared up some things. "And I think you need it. You can't see your face when you talk about your mom. You light up like I've never seen you."
Alex slowly lowered her hand to the table, listening to Sean and feeling her heart - well, she couldn't explain it. Alex had never experienced this before. It was entirely gratifying; only ever so slightly did she feel afraid. But afraid in a good way, if possible. Wasn't a rule of living to do the thing you're most afraid of? Whenever she thought of Sean a smile came to her face, her cheeks and neck flushed a deep red, she felt that butterfly sensation in the pit of her stomach. And when he wasn't around she really did miss him even if she didn't show it well. Alex knew she was horrible at sometimes showing she loved or cared about someone. Nikita knew that better than anyone. But Alex was loyal and when she loved she loved to a fault.
"There are still things I haven't told you about myself," she began, feeling the need to get this off her chest. "There are things I've never told anyone because it's - it's hard for me to talk about. You know, the past is sometimes difficult to bring up and a lot of times we'd rather bury everything than bring it all to the surface again, but -"
"Alex," Sean said gently, interrupting her. He leaned forward, extending his arm and placing his hand over hers, which she had placed on the tabletop. "I know. Trust me, I know. I know it's hard for you to talk about certain parts of your past and as much as I would love for you to open up to me, I will wait however long it takes. When you're ready to open up to me, I will be here. I promise." Sean smiled, tilting his head a little to the side and gave her hand an affectionate squeeze.
Alex looked down as Sean spoke, feeling the backs of her eyes sting. She gripped his hand, afraid to look up and let him see the tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. When Sean noticed she wasn't all right, he got up and dragged his chair over and sat beside her. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close against him, kissing the side of her head. "Hey, hey. It's okay."
Alex sniffed and got her urge to cry under control, not wanting to break down on what was their first date. She wanted to have fun, enjoy her time with Sean. It was nice to be outside, not a care in the world except each other. She placed her hand on top of his and then brought the same hand up to pat his cheek. "You're too good for me," she said, and a part of her truly meant and felt it. He was a good guy, such a good guy, and he deserved better than he was getting. But at the same time, Alex hated the thought of Sean with someone else. She wanted him all to herself. If that was selfish, then so be it.
"Nah," Sean said, smiling as he ran his fingers through her long hair. He kissed the side of her head again and then ran his hand down her arm, rubbing it. "I honestly don't think I could ever do better than you, Alex. You make me happy. Happier than I've been in a long time and I only hope you feel the same way."
"I do," she said, turning in her seat to face him, one hand on his arm as they gazed at each other. "Sean, for the first time in a long, long time I've been able to wake up and not feel sad about my life. I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you. I need you to know that." Perhaps the wine was loosening her up, helping her relax, but she needed him to know some of what she felt for him and anything else.
Not wanting to waste a minute, Sean leaned in and crushed his lips against Alex's, bringing his hand up to cup the back of her head. He felt one of Alex's hands on the side of his neck, her thumb caressing the side of his jaw as they both deepened the kiss at the same time and enjoyed each other.
There was more Sean wanted to say. Some very important words, actually, but he felt like Alex wasn't quite ready to hear them. Or maybe she was, but he didn't want to rush things. Sean wanted to give her a little more time, show her more care and affection. He didn't want to believe it, but a part of him felt that after tonight she would close herself off again, just a little bit. People were tricky and complicated and Alex was no exception.
Alex was the first one to pull away from the kiss, and quite reluctantly. "So, what was it you said was for dessert?" she asked, rubbing her lips together as she gazed at him.
"Me?" he teased, making Alex laugh. "Zeppole," he said, gesturing his head towards the middle of the table. "Deep-fried dough topped with powdered sugar, with an option of chocolate dipping sauce."
"Mmm, what are we waiting for?" she asked.
"All right, why don't we go over there?" he suggested, pointing to a corner of the rooftop. He'd set up a little lounge for them, some cushions on the ground, blankets to keep warm, and a table with candles to provide light.
"Oh," she said, getting up and walking over to the romantic little corner. She lifted up one leg after the other behind her, reaching a hand behind her to take off her shoes before sitting down on the cushions. She stretched her legs out in front of her, getting comfortable. A moment later, Sean came over with the plate of zeppoli surrounded by a small plastic container of warm chocolate dipping sauce in the middle of the deep-fried dough. He carefully took a seat beside Alex, also stretching his legs out. He shifted a little so his body was facing hers, and as soon as he did that Alex copied him and then rested her legs across his, hoping he didn't mind.
With one hand, Sean slipped his arms underneath Alex's legs and playfully pulled her closer to him, which caused her to burst out laughing. She sighed, moving even a little closer to him after he did that, only a few inches between them. She was going to say something, but then Sean picked up a zeppole, dipped part of it into the chocolate, waited until the chocolate stopped dripping and then fed the powdered dough to Alex. She bit half of it off, chewing it slowly and savoring the warm, sugary and chocolate-y taste as she wiped the corner of her mouth with her fingertips.
"Mm, God. Where have these been my entire life?" she said, grabbing Sean by the wrist before he could eat the zeppole and ate it herself. "So good," she added, sighing in pleasure. "You know, I can't remember the last time I indulged myself with something sweet like this," she confessed.
Sean grinned, having a feeling there were a lot of 'I can't remember the last time' for Alex. It was rather endearing and he was curious to what else she hadn't experienced in a long time. At that thought, he had to think of something else as something men were wont to think of a lot popped into his head, and he focused on feeding Alex again.
"Well, you better take advantage of the moment, 'cause I love these things and they'll disappear in like five seconds if you're not careful," he teased, smirking at her. He dipped another zeppole in the chocolate sauce, then held it up for her to bite into. He put one hand under the zeppole so the chocolate wouldn't drip on her legs or dress while Alex put her hand on his inner thigh, leaning forward to bite into the dough. Some chocolate drizzled down her chin, making her cry out as she chewed and swallowed the dough. "Don't worry," Sean said, laughing at her. He reached his hand up and used his thumb to wipe away the chocolate sauce, then put his thumb in his mouth and sucked the sauce off.
"All right, my turn," she said, eagerly taking the plate from him and wanting to feed him this time around. She chose a zeppole and dipped it in the sauce, doing what he had and placed her hand under the zeppole to keep it from dripping on their clothes, and held the dough up to him. Sean dipped his head, placing his hand around her wrist as he bit into the dough and then chewed it a few times before swallowing it. Alex was about to pop the other half into her mouth when all of a sudden Sean leaned in and quickly took it from her using his mouth, making her giggle. "Ass," she said, shaking her head at him, though the amount of cuteness he had been was endearing.
"But a fine ass," Sean replied, smirking and laughing throatily at what he'd said. Alex rolled her eyes and just shook her head at him, not surprised he went in that direction. "Yes, such a fine ass," she said, smirking right back at him as she leaned over to kiss him, forgetting about the plate of zeppole between them. She had a little chocolate on her thumb, so as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders she kept her hand up and away from his hair, not wanting to make a mess.
Sean reached down between them, grabbing the plate and pulling Alex against him as he rolled them over a bit so he could set the plate on the table beside them. He wrapped both arms around her after that, hugging her even closer to him as they kissed. He waited a few seconds before he slid his hand down her back, then down along her thigh. He enjoyed the feel of her skin, so warm and soft. He pulled away from kissing her as he drew her leg up, wrapping it around his thigh. Dipping his head, Sean pressed kisses to her neck, kissing down to her shoulder where he pulled down the strap of her dress so he could kiss the tip of her shoulder. Moving his hand, he placed it along her tiny waist, kissing down her arm as far as he could before working his way back up.
Alex tipped her head back, wishing she hadn't worn such a tight dress. It wasn't that tight, really, but it kept her from doing what she wanted, like get on top of him and straddle his lap. She settled for wrapping her leg around his thigh, her hand pressed firmly against his torso. She slowly slid her hand down further, pulling his shirt out of his dress pants so she could slip her hands under his shirt, feel his muscles and the warmth of his skin. She felt herself get aroused, causing her to let out a soft moan as she felt Sean press his hand to the small of her back and kiss the center of her throat. She began to ache for him in places she had no idea she could ache. She wanted to feel his lips explore her entire body, feel his hands trace every scar she had, every curve. She just wanted to feel him again like she had after they had fixed things between them.
As if reading her mind, Sean couldn't take it any longer and gently encouraged Alex onto her back, hovering on top of her and gazing admiringly at her for several moments before leaning down to kiss her. He crawled back on the cushions, kissing down Alex's chest. Her dress was a bit of a nuisance, so he looked up at her as he reached her stomach. "May I-"
"Do it," she said, interrupting him. Instead of waiting for him, though, Alex sat up and reached her arms behind her, unzipping the back of her dress and then pushing the straps down and off her arms and then lifted her hips and let Sean pull it off the rest of the way. He was careful not to just toss her dress on the dirty ground, instead setting it one of the pillows acting as a cushion for them. He then turned and looked down at Alex, marveling at the sight of her. She took his breath away, as always. She was so ridiculously fit, her abs turning him on. Well, a lot of things about her turned him on.
Lowering himself down again after admiring her - which made Alex nervous since no one had ever looked at her that way before - Sean pressed a kiss to her abdomen and then crawled back on the cushions, spreading her legs apart. He got down between her, but waited before going down on her. He started slow, kissing up along one of her inner thighs, caressing her other outer thigh was his hand. He alternated between kissing and sucking, even playfully nipping at her skin. When he looked up and saw that Alex had her head tipped back and that her chest was rising and falling rapidly, her fingers clutching one of the pillows beside her, Sean switched to her other leg and began to kiss up her inner thigh. He kissed as much of her skin as he could before finally reaching his hands up to pull down her underwear, tossing them on top of her dress.
Alex's breathing began to increase by the minute, along with her body temperature, her state of arousal, the tension in her muscles and body. Everything increased to the point where she was acutely aware of Sean's lips on her skin. He could've ghosted them over her skin, light as a feather and she still would've felt them. She let out a moan of pleasure as she felt him slip his tongue inside her, slowly roll it around her before finding her clit and putting pressure against it.
Lifting her arm, she reached above her head and grabbed onto the pillow or the blanket or whatever the hell it was and clutched it, arching her back and thrusting her chest forward as Sean went down on her. God she loved sex. Intercourse or oral, she didn't care. It just felt good and it was amazing with Sean. He knew all her spots, what got her off, what made her go crazy. At the same time, he could be so sweet and affectionate, sickeningly so. But she loved it. She loved him.
She was pulled abruptly out of her thoughts, her eyes flying open and her back arching even more as Sean went down on her more eagerly, massaging her clit in such a way she wasn't sure the pleasure her body was receiving could handle it. Sean glanced up at the sound of another moan, deciding now was the time.
Pulling away from her, he quickly took his pants, boxers and shirt off and then began to lower himself down, but Alex interrupted his plan and flipped them over so she was on top now. He smirked, loving it whenever she wanted to be on top. He always told her she was more than welcome to take charge. He knew she enjoyed it and he couldn't exactly complain. So without wasting another moment, Alex position him inside her and started moving against him. Sean pushed himself up so he wasn't on his back, slipping his arms around her and placing his hands on either side of her thighs. He didn't keep them there for long, though, slowly dragging them up and then placing his hands on her waist, moving them over her ass, giving it a brief squeeze before he placed one hand on the small of her back and fisted his other hand in her hair.
Alex tipped her head back as she grinded against him, closing her eyes as she felt his lips on the hollow of her neck again, sucking on her skin, tugging gently on her hair. She dug her fingertips into the flesh of Sean's shoulder, dragging her nails down his arms. He let out a low, pleasant hiss, playfully nipping at her skin before sucking on the same spots. He wrapped his arm around her, pressing her closer against him, feeling their skin rubbing against each other, the sweat forming between them and on the backs, even on the back of their necks.
A moment later, Alex cried out and then pushed Sean down on the cushions, collapsing on top of him, breathing heavily. He rubbed her back soothingly, his breathing just as ragged as hers was. The heat of their bodies mixed with the coolness of the night and the soft breeze sent chills down Sean and Alex's spines, causing Alex to shiver. Sean noticed it and grabbed a blanket beside him, placing it over her. Alex smiled and rolled off of him and stretched out on her side, draping her arm across his torso. Sean moved over a little to let Alex get comfortable, wrapping his arm around her and hugging her close against him, kissing the side of her head. "You comfortable?" he asked, and she nodded.
"Very," she replied, pressing kisses to his chest. She caressed his ribcage with her fingertips, more than comfortable cuddled with him like this. Everything about this moment was perfect and didn't want to change a thing. For once she wished a moment really could last forever. "Thank you for a beautiful first date," she said, looking up at him.
Sean smiled back at her when she thanked him, bringing his hand up to run his fingers through her hair, cupping the side of her face for a moment. "You're very welcome," he said. "You deserved it, Alex. I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead.
Alex snuggled closer against him and Sean rubbed her back with his hand, resting his head against hers. He gazed up at the sky while Alex closed her eyes and relaxed against Sean. Being here with her, holding her in his arms - it felt like the most natural thing in the world.