U and UR Hand, a janet evanovich fanfic

U+Ur Hand

Sing fic based on the song U+UR Hand by Pink

Disclaimer: Thanks to Janet Evanovich for creating some awesome characters! I own nothing but the story its self. The song belongs to Pink.

Rating: R for language and subject matter

RMD CHALLENGE : "You are my entertainment."

Another night, another distraction.

The minute I walked into the conference room to meet the guys, I had a feeling the FTA wasn't going to be the only one distracted. I was wearing a black sequin spaghetti strap cocktail dress that just did cover my ass and 5in FMPs that made me look like all legs. My hair was up in a sloppy french twist and my make-up was done for an evening on the town.

Lester was one of the first too speak, "Damn, Steph! You look.. um... amazing!"

Ranger cleared his throat and briefed us on the job. The FTA was Matthew Malone. He is a high class scum bag. His crime: rape and attempted murder. Matthew is 47 years old, a real estate tycoon , who has high price clients like lawyers, doctors and celebrities. He is handsome in a Richard Gere sort of way.

The plan was to meet up with Matthew in his favorite night spot, The Cristal Palace, a upscale nightclub in New York that caters to celebrities and high class professionals. Its obvious that he goes there to sell properties. I needed to go in and see if I could lure him out of the club and into the cuffs of a waiting Merry Man.

After the briefing, it was tme to get me wired. All the Merry Men were fighting over who got to wire me tonight. Ranger just stood back and laughed at them acting the fool. They all knew that I belonged to Ranger, but it never stopped them from flirting with me on occasion. Ranger thought it all way amusing.

"Give me the damn thing!" I shouted over the ruckus, snacthing the mic and transmitter from Tank's hand. I wired myself with everyone watching.

Check it out goin' out on the late night
Lookin' tight, feeling nice, it's a cock fight
I can tell I just know that it's going down, tonight

Bobby and Vince left early to get in their positions. Bobby was going to be on the door so I could get in. Vince was going to be the bartender, serving me my Kool-Aid in a Margarita glass, since Ranger perfered I not drink until after the job was complete.

When it was time for me to go into the club, Tank dropped me off in his hummer and I heard oohs and ahhs from the crowd outside. I walked up to the door, kissed Bobby on the cheek and waltz right in. I located Matthew and notified Ranger through the wire singaling him and Lester to come in and take there places as fellow club goers. I sat at the bar next to Matthew and Vince came over and asked for my drink order.

"What will it be, beautiful?" He asked with a wink.

"Strawberry Margarita, handsome." I replied with a smile.

"Coming right up." And he disapeared to prepare my drink.

About that time Matthew turned around to me. "Hi there." He said looking me up and down.

"Hi" I replied with a smile.

"The names Matthew, I'm in real estate." He offered his card.

I took it and looked over then looked back at him and smiled, "Alisha", I replied.

"Well, Alisha," he placed his hand on my thigh, "Its nice to meet you."

Vince returned with my drink and I sipped it , stiffling my disgusted moan from his touch.

At the door we don't wait 'cause we know them
At the bar six shots just beginnin'
That's when dickhead put his hands on me
But ya see

We made small talk. He told me about some of his 'exclusive' properties and seemed interested in me. Seeing how his hands were all over my thighs.

"Matty? Is it too late for you to show me some of your properties?" I asked as I finished my second 'margarita'.

"Absolutley not, I would love to show you what I have available for a gorgeous girl like you." He threw some bills on the bar and we headed toward the door.

We knew it would take some time to get from the bar to the exit doors. Tank will have the Hummer waiting outside while Bobby, Lester and Ranger waited just outside the door to snag him.

It went as well as planned. Matthew wasn't happy with me.

"You fucking bitch! You tricked me!" He yelled as Ranger and Lester carried him off to the Hummer. Tank and Ranger will take him to the local authorities and he gets to spend some time in jail.

"Sorry, Matty. Have fun without me!" I said as a turned and went back inside. Time for a REAL drink!

I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really wanna mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
'Cause you know it's over, before it began
Keep your drink just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight

Vince had left the bar since the job was over . Lester and Bobby had followed me back into the club.

I got me a margarita and planned on enjoying the rest of the evening in a club I would ordinarily not be able to get into. I was on my third drink when I decided I wanted to dance. Vince, Lester and Bobby were in full swing dancing with some very gorgeous ladies, all while keeping an eye on me. I went out on the floor, not caring how stupid I may look dancing by myself. Several guys tried to dance with me but I pushed them away. I was in my own little world.

Midnight I'm drunk, I don't give a fuck
Wanna dance by myself guess you're out of luck
Don't touch, back up, I'm not the one
Buh-bye
Listen up it's just not happenin'
You can say what you want to your boyfriends
Just let me have my fun tonight...aiight

Several guys wanted to buy me drinks, but I wasn't interested. I just waved them on. I was enjoying myself. Just dancing like my life depended on it. I was glad the job was over, but I really wanted Ranger to come back.

There was a group of about five guys talking and looking my way. I tried not to make eye contact. I didn't want to seem interested. Shit! Here comes one of them. Don't get me wrong, he was gorgeous. Brown, spiked up hair, dimples that wouldn't quit and a body that could easily belong to a Merry Man. He was dressed in a long sleeved like blue button down shirt with a NY Yankees tie and blue jeans. Definetly a young professional. He looked to be between 25 and 30. He started dancing with me with his drink in his hand. Splashing it everywhere.

"Excuse you!" I shouted over the music

"My names Ethan, I'm a stockbroker."

"Go away, I'm not interested. Please! You are getting beer all over me." I pushed him away.

"Bitch!"

I gave him a stiff middle finger and watched as his buddies all laughed and high fived each other.

You're in the corner with your boys, you bet them five bucks
You'd get the girl that just walked in, but she thinks you suck
We didn't get all dressed up just for you to see
So quit spilling your drinks on me

You know you are
High five and talking shit
But you are going home alone
Aren't ya?

I was feeling good when I saw Ranger come in. He made his way through the crowd and walked right up to me.

"Its about time Manoso." I said wrapping my hands around his neck. His arms went around my waist and he lifted me up and spun me around.

"Babe, you were teriffic tonight."

"Well you haven't seen the finale of my performance yet." I before kissing him.

"I reserved us a room at the Waldorf. Let's go so you can entertain me some more."

I turned and saw the Merry Men and gave them a finger wave. I looked to the corner and saw the group of guys and gave them a wave of a different finger as I exited the club with Ranger.

I had an awesome night and it was just about to get better.